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Rudy Park

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-29 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-29 Pub. Date: 2018-01-29
Image Number: 167929
Caption: What's wrong, little buddy? My phone. I registered a new domain name the other day, but I didn't want to pay the extra $5 to make the ownership private. Ever since, people have been calling my cell every five minutes trying to sell me stuff. That's so slimy! What domain name did you register? Eploitrr.com. I registered that so I could sell stuff to people who mistyped while they were trying to reach exploiterr.com. Nothing like a good, honest living.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-22 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167656
Caption: This week on Youtube, I counted 150,360 comments beneath 178 "Star Trek: Discovery" reviews. That's amazing. Yeah. And 49% of those comments were people saying the show is unwatchable. 1% of the comments are people asking if the show's unwatchable, how come you've been commenting on every episode and you're still here at episode 11? 50% of the comments are praise for the show. 30% of that 50% of the comments is from people pointing out that they used to only be 40%. I'm not sure the math god sanction this usage of numbers.
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-17 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-17 Pub. Date: 2018-01-17
Image Number: 167379
Caption: I'm exhausted, Randy. What happened, little buddy? It's my side gig, where I back people up in online arguments for $5 per thread. I got a new client at 3 a.m. last night … morning … whatever. I just spent twelve hours writing things like What a genius comment! Definitely doesn't seem senile to me! Hm. I suspect you'll be able to mile this cash cow for at least three more years. if I have to type fake news! One more time, I'm gonna lose it.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-16 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-16 Pub. Date: 2018-01-16
Image Number: 167378
Caption: I'm making extra money offering services on that freelance jobs site exploitrr.com. What're you offering, little buddy? Book promotion? Logo design? Backup services. For just $5 per thread, I'll back you up in all your online arguments. I suspect you're going to make a killing. I'll post things like you sure told him! And you're brilliant, total stranger!
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-11 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-11 Pub. Date: 2018-01-11
Image Number: 167107
Caption: I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. Whatever, dork-boy. Tap tap tap tap tap. You're no longer the world's first successfully-bred human-wildebeest hybrid. It turns out you had an undetected genetic mutation that led to extreme, continuous belching. I'm afraid you didn't make it. You and I are about to have a lot in common.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-02 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-02 Pub. Date: 2018-01-02
Image Number: 166786
Caption: The hive mind has reaches a consensus about 'Star Wars.' I don't want to hear it. An alpha doesn't care to hear the opinions of anonymous strangers on the internet. People are more likely to post ill-considered nonsense if their real names aren't attached to their words. Juiceman842 tweeted the opposite the other day. Proves my point.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-31 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-31 Pub. Date: 2017-12-31
Image Number: 166139
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea coming up.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-18 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-18 Pub. Date: 2017-12-18
Image Number: 166295
Caption: I've lost faith in everything, Randy. I feel like a tiny raft drifting in a stormy sea. There is no up. There is no down. There entire foundation of the world is made of flimsy tissue paper. Maybe the Buddhists are right. Maybe nothing is really real at all. Internet going down for a few hours last week isn't that big a deal, little buddy. Yes, it really is.
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-14 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-14 Pub. Date: 2017-12-14
Image Number: 166032
Caption: I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-12 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-12 Pub. Date: 2017-12-12
Image Number: 166030
Caption: A star called Gliese 710 is about to pass through our solar system and head straight for earth! Well … by "about to," I mean in about 1.35 million years. And by "through our solar system," I mean through our oort cloud. And by "head straight for earth" I mean it'll pass us by about 13,000 times the distance between the sun and the earth. Is a crowd gathering around me? No. I told you, click-bait headlines only work on the internet.
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-10 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165382
Caption: Youtube reviews make me feel old, Randy. Well … they're always full of whining, nitpicky, smug people complaining that the film or tv show wasn’t easy enough to follow. Reviewers complain that characters actions "don't make sense," as if they unaware that people often don't make sense. Or that a scene wasn't "necessary," as if establishing character doesn't matter. They complain that the plot was "confused," but when I was growing up, that just meant the viewer wasn't paying enough attention. It's as if a lot of reviewers want everything spelled out for them so they don't have to actually figure anything out for themselves. Yeah ... definitely sounding old there, my friend. I wish these dumb reviewers would stay off my list of Youtube recommendations.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-13 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-13 Pub. Date: 2017-11-13
Image Number: 164882
Caption: What do you mean "give Rudy a minute"? He's doing something very delicate. Like what? He's trying to help Sadie find her old childhood friends online. He found lots of them. They're still alive! But the news is both good and bad, and he's not sure how to break it to her gently. They're ... um ... in a Facebook group called "Sadie-Survivors Support Group." What th -- I said tell me the bad news first, cretin.
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-19 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-19 Pub. Date: 2017-10-19
Image Number: 163918
Caption: Randy, I heard you're making a killing from your Youtube channel. How can a guy get in on that action? Simple … Just sit down in front of a camera and talk from the heart about something you're passionate about. Just be a genuine human being. People are drawn to that. I see, I see. Just one thing: What if the phrase "genuine human being" makes a guy break out in hives? Plan B: Find out what people are googling and pretend to be an expert on the highest-ranked search term. No we're talking.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-12 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-12 Pub. Date: 2017-10-12
Image Number: 163643
Caption: All right, you may tell me about your internet startup idea. It's revolutionary. You know how the only way to tell if you stink is to sniff your armpit? Continue … and you know how embarrassing it is when people you know catch you sniffing your own armpit? Continue ... and you know how apps like "Uber" let you summon total strangers to drive by and provide you a service? Stop right there.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-10 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-10 Pub. Date: 2017-10-10
Image Number: 163641
Caption: I have an idea for a new internet startup. What is it? I can't tell you. Someone may overhear. It's such a good idea, someone's bound to steal it if I tell even a single soul You're supposed to beg to hear it. You're not begging. You had your chance.
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-04 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-04 Pub. Date: 2017-10-04
Image Number: 163384
Caption: I googled your great-great-great-great-grandmother. There's no mention of her at all. You nincompoop. They didn't have Facebook or Tweeter or anything in the 1760s. You have to march your lazy behind into a hall of records and search through the catacombs for a dusty old file. By "file," I mean an actual file folder with supple paper, not a blinky little folder cartoon on a glowy computer screen. (Sigh) ... by "paper," I mean ...
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-21 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-21 Pub. Date: 2017-09-21
Image Number: 162863
Caption: Life on earth was simple and stupid until suddenly complex life exploded all over the planet during the Cambrian period. At about the same time, Venus was probably habitable. One theory is a huge asteroid smacked into Venus, blasting life out into space. Months later, that life fell down to earth and ipso facto that's why you and I are here. The "big smack" theory is gaining widespread acceptance. Really? As in peer-reviewed studies? No, as in "likes" on the "big smack" video I posted on Youtube.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-15 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162613
Caption: I've edited our Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. I could not care less. Now whenever anyone searches for "Sadie Cohen" … they'll find that your personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired … and that you're the world's first successfully-bred human-wildebeest hybrid. I was wrong. I could care less.
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-09 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-09 Pub. Date: 2017-09-09
Image Number: 162353
Caption: Forgive me. I have sinned. It's been four years since last I was here. Since then, I've been … doing something. I knew it was wrong, but it was so easy. And no one could possibly know, so … I did it. And I did it without regard to the lives I would ruin. You could always start buying stuff in stores again, instead of online. Couldn't I just tweet two hail Jobses instead. Computer Villa. Customer Service.
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-01 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 162103
Caption: Why do you keep asking people if they've ever sued anyone for libel? Well, someone libeled me. I'm a Starfleet captain in "Star Trek Online." Someone playing a Ferengi merchant had that Ferengi call my captain "incompetent." right in front of my whole crew. My whole crew quit. My captain went into a downward shame-spiral. He started drinking, stopped shaving, and now he's captaining a garbage scow out of Sherman's planet. Suing a fake person's real person for defaming a real person's fake person. You just might make legal history. My captain hired a lawyer, but I'm not sure the lawyer is being played by a lawyer.
     
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