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Candorville

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Result page:     (13 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-09 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 155971
Caption: Donald Trump is cutting all funding for NPR, the National Endowment for the Arts, PBS, the Institute of Museum and Library Services, and more. What? They goin' after Big Bird? What Big Bird do to him? I didn't know Trump was mad at 'im. I ain't seen no tweet about it or nothin'. Big Bird'll be fine. HBO owns Big Bird now. Say what? I don't know if I could watch Big Bird on HBO. Last thing I need to see is Big Bird naked, or Big Bird choppin' off people arms an' whatnot. That's not the point. The point is, he's stripping funding from the Smithsonian and other icons of our culture, but buying more bombs we don't need. I don't need to see Big Bird slingin' smack for the mafia. It's not always about Big Bird.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-01 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-01 Pub. Date: 2010-12-01
Image Number: 54752
Caption: The whole "Gay Marriage" thing isn't turning out as we'd said it would. Fear, Inc. It's been legal in a bunch of states for years now, and hasn't destroyed the institution of marriage or made people want to marry their pet turtles. … And it's given extra business to the whole wedding industry: printers, clothiers, caterers ... Don't forget divorce attorneys. "GAY MARRIAGE LEADS TO MORE DIVORCES!*" Oh, how I want to kiss whoever invented the asterisk (unless it was a dude).
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-19 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-19 Pub. Date: 2010-09-19
Image Number: 51944
Caption: 2010. Look at this! Racist signs at the tea party rallies! That means the tea party is racist! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples. 2002. Look at this! Huge corporations are ripping us off! That means capitalism is broken! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples. 1976. Look at this! "Welfare queens" buying houses and fancy cars on my taxpayer money! that means welfare is a huge fraud! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-14 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-14 Pub. Date: 2010-02-14
Image Number: 44120
Caption: Hello, you've reached the United States Supreme Court. If you're calling to schedule a tour, press 1. If you're calling to praise us for upholding the foundation of our democracy, press 2. If you're calling to ask why we just diminished your influence over our democracy by ruling unions and corporations like, say, your phone company, can spend whatever they want to influence our political campaigns, press 3. Click. Hello? Tap. Tap tap tap tap tap. Odd. No dial tone.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-25 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-25 Pub. Date: 2009-12-25
Image Number: 42236
Caption: You say you interviewed a demon named La Llorona who sucks the souls right out of little children? She was actually kind to me. I see. Fascinating. But has it occurred to you that maybe you had a psychotic break during our last therapy session … … and at this very moment you're trapped to a gurney in the mental care center to which I had you committed? No. Not really. Fascinating.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-22 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-22 Pub. Date: 2009-03-22
Image Number: 30979
Caption: Today. Dear Feudalbanc Massacard customer, we've decreased your credit limit from $980 to $250 because one of your creditors recently increased your APR. Yesterday, 2pm. Dear Feudalbanc Massacard customer, we've raised your APR from 3.99% to 29.99% because one of your creditors recently decreased your credit limit. Yesterday, 9am. Dear Feudalbanc Massacard customer, we've decreased your credit limit from $12,400 to $950 because you have a high balance on a recently opened card. The day before yesterday. Dear Feudalbanc Massacard customer, you're pre-approved for a SECOND Feudalbanc card! Consolidate ALL YOUR DEBT onto it, and you'll be on your way to better credit!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-31 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-31 Pub. Date: 2008-05-31
Image Number: 23768
Caption: Mad Libs Cons. If we allow those (plural noun) to (verb), it will destroy the institution of (sacred noun) and then where will we be? Plus, it would give our children the wrong idea. They'd grow up thinking it's ok to (disgusting verb) with (disgusting noun) and that's just wrong and immoral. Well? Brilliant idea, or brilliantest idea? I dunno. The market for this sorta thing is shrinking.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-30 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-30 Pub. Date: 2008-05-30
Image Number: 23767
Caption: I still say "gay marriage must be stopped"… ..but my heart's not really in it anymore. It's almost as if I'm too busy worrying about the fact I'm losing my home, my job and my health insurance. When I said bring in your significant other, I meant your wife. It's like me and my boogeyman are just going through the motions. Y.M.C.A.!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-29 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-29 Pub. Date: 2008-05-29
Image Number: 23766
Caption: I'm not gay, I swear. I didn't really divorce my wife and marry Lance the mailman. I made it all up to illustrate how letting gays marry destroys traditional marriage and makes people gay. Lilly and I are still happily married. Repeat that part. It destroys traditional marriage. The other part. It makes people gay?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-27 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-27 Pub. Date: 2008-05-27
Image Number: 23764
Caption: You left your wife and married Lance the mailman? I had no choice. California legalized gay marriage. Obviously, that meant traditional marriage must die, and we must all turn gay. So instead of waiting for the inevitable, I figured I'd just get it over with now. Some people will do anything to prove a point. Don't tell Lance about me and Arnold.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-26 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-26 Pub. Date: 2008-05-26
Image Number: 23763
Caption: See, I was right all along! Letting gays marry ruins the whole institution of marriage! The California Supreme Court ruled that gays can marry just two weeks ago… …and already, I've left my wife and kids and married Lance, the mailman. Say what? @#$% activist judges made me gay.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-08 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-03 Pub. Date: 2007-07-08
Image Number: 18166
Caption: 2007. Gay marriage is wrong. 1967. I mean, if negras and whites can marry, it'll ruin the whole institution! 1947. By George, if I let my daughter marry a Jew, where will it end? 1867. Pretty soon our womenfolk will think they can marry Yankees! 1692. And sweareth I, in the Lord's name, my daughter shall never marry a left-handed boy, lest both doth burneth at the stake as witches! 2,000,000 B.C. Groog, moogog, tsrong, grunt oont brawwwk!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-07 institution 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-07 Pub. Date: 2007-04-07
Image Number: 16678
Caption: Feudalbanc Massacard, Ryan speaking. Ryan, my bill says "Finance charge: $6." But my balance is $0. What exactly am I "financing"? Lemme ask my supervisor. Hold on a sec. No problem. (Click) He's onto us. Still me, Ryan.
     
Result page:     (13 images)