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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-14 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-14 Pub. Date: 2018-06-14
Image Number: 172243
Caption: Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-06 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-06 Pub. Date: 2018-06-06
Image Number: 172097
Caption: I heard a loud, mysterious boom last night, Tyrone. As have people all over the world, Rosencrantz. Earthquakes where there should be none. Loud booms of unascertained origin. The masses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the earth itself. Or ... it could be that when you thought me asleep, you donned ballet shoes, crept to the middle of the alley and began twirling and dancing and accidentally leapt a grand jete into the dumpster ... it could've been that. What a man does in an alley, stays in the alley.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-30 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171959
Caption: I've been playing around with deep fake technology. I took photos of everyone who ever bullied me … and I mapped them onto the little Sims in Simcity. Well, that's only the second most disturbing thing I've heard people doing with that tech. Every time they try to go home, I demolish their homes. Then they drive around in circles wondering what happened. HOJ. You don't think that's strange, do you? I don't judge.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-28 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171957
Caption: I just found out that all life on earth could end if we're ever hit by a huge gamma ray burst from some other galaxy. That sounds like sketchy information, little buddy. No, it's been verified. I typed in gamma ray burst hitting earth on Youtube, and got tons of videos about them killing us all. There was a single video disputing that, I assume. I heard that.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-01 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171059
Caption: Darn. Ten whole pages of results, Sadie. What's yer pie hole yammering about now. Tap tap tap tap tap. I just googled what to do with my free time, and I got ten pages of results. What do you mean free time? Didn't I hear your boss tell you to go sweep up in the alley, you wretched slacker? He didn't say when. Google how should Sadie celebrate when doofus-boy gets fired?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-04 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-04 Pub. Date: 2018-04-04
Image Number: 170206
Caption: Boss, I told The Fixer you were firing him. Go back and tell him that was fake news. I may have use for him after all, if the press ever finds out about the nondisclosure agreement I forced Garfield to sign. Um … ok … that's enough … The Fixer paid him the hush money, and that gives me plausible deniability. I don't want to hear it!!! Very bad man!!! It was lasagna-related. Get your mind out of the gutter.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-26 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-26 Pub. Date: 2018-03-26
Image Number: 169897
Caption: Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me I've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the Middle Ages is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with heretics.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-15 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-15 Pub. Date: 2018-03-15
Image Number: 169408
Caption: Hello, this is the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. We hear you're running for Congress s a progressive Justice Democrat. That's right. And we see you've actually pulled ahead of the Republican, in a district we always though was unwinnable. We're just calling to congratulate you on demonstrating a Democrat can actually win this race. House of Java Cybercafe. Thank you. So you're going to help me? We're going to ask you to step aside so one of our rich ... I mean, one of our approved candidates can take over from here.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-16 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-16 Pub. Date: 2018-02-16
Image Number: 168445
Caption: Boss, hear me out: I'm giving you a chance to progressively cultivate optimal internal organic sources. Forget it. But a sabbatical would seamlessly benchmark high-payoff architectures so your assets could competently pursue premier content generation. You're not getting a week's paid vacation, minion, and that's final. But don't you want to synergistically drive holistic, end-to-end cross-functional virtualization? Get back to work.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-14 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-14 Pub. Date: 2018-02-14
Image Number: 168443
Caption: I just can't anymore. There is no can't, little buddy. We can do anything we set our mints to unless we give up. When you say I can't, what I hear is I won't. Now there are photos of Richard Dreyfuss groping fans behinds and nether regions. Do you think it's too soon to tweet some Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind jokes. You can't.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-12 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-12 Pub. Date: 2018-02-12
Image Number: 168441
Caption: Youtube just made it impossible for me to earn a living from my channel! How so? It used to be you needed 10,000 views of your videos, and then they'd start running ads on your channel. Now you need 4,000 hours of watch-time and 1,000 subscribers! It took me a year to get 10,000 views, and then the bottom drops out! I'm missing out on $400/year now, according to Social Blade. Have you ever heard something that you just know would've made zero sense if you'd heard it ten years ago? First Facebook changed the algorithms, now this!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-05 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168186
Caption: I have this really bad itch on my ne … What? I said … I have this really embarrassing itch on my nethers … Speak up, I can't hear you. I said, I have this really embarrassing itch on my nether regions, and wondered if you've ever had that too. I'd keep it down if I were you. Thanks a lot. Thirteen people have already tweeted it.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-27 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-27 Pub. Date: 2018-01-27
Image Number: 167661
Caption: Boss? When are you going to start paying me a a full-time employee? I'm here all the time. It's not "part-time." Nonsense. The law clearly states that anything under 35 hours a week is part time … and anything from 35-40 hours a week is full time. You work 50 hours a week, so you don't fall within the full-time window. Full time window is not a thing, boss. Pretty sure it is, I just heard myself say it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-02 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-02 Pub. Date: 2018-01-02
Image Number: 166786
Caption: The hive mind has reaches a consensus about 'Star Wars.' I don't want to hear it. An alpha doesn't care to hear the opinions of anonymous strangers on the internet. People are more likely to post ill-considered nonsense if their real names aren't attached to their words. Juiceman842 tweeted the opposite the other day. Proves my point.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-31 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-31 Pub. Date: 2017-12-31
Image Number: 166139
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea coming up.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-27 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-27 Pub. Date: 2017-12-27
Image Number: 166541
Caption: Where were you the last few days, little buddy? San Francisco. I heard new robot security guards were harassing the homeless to keep them from sleeping on city streets. So I went out there hoping to be recruited by any time-traveler who came back in time to lead a resistance cell. I knew it was a long-shot. But I'd have kicked myself if I didn't go and the time-traveler did show up. Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-14 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-14 Pub. Date: 2017-12-14
Image Number: 166032
Caption: I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-31 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-31 Pub. Date: 2017-10-31
Image Number: 164422
Caption: Nasa's going to give the moon a moon. What? It's going to capture an asteroid and put it in lunar orbit so we can practice docking with it and maybe mine it. Do you think it's too late for me to become and astronaut? I would love to be the first human being to say "can you hear me now" from an asteroid. Your deeds will be remember for centuries. I want to be the first human to moon the moon from the moon's moon.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-19 hear 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-19 Pub. Date: 2017-10-19
Image Number: 163918
Caption: Randy, I heard you're making a killing from your Youtube channel. How can a guy get in on that action? Simple … Just sit down in front of a camera and talk from the heart about something you're passionate about. Just be a genuine human being. People are drawn to that. I see, I see. Just one thing: What if the phrase "genuine human being" makes a guy break out in hives? Plan B: Find out what people are googling and pretend to be an expert on the highest-ranked search term. No we're talking.
     
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