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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about families.

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21. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-01 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-01 Pub. Date: 2012-06-01
Image Number: 86621
Caption: Slowpoke. Consumer Comix Presents LET THEM EAT SLIME. Hi there! I'm here from the meat industry to discuss our filler product made from connective tissue and scraps treated with ammonia. Some call it "pink slime." We prefer "lean beef trimmings."* *Actual term. Don't think of it as incredibly low-grade cow-related by-product. Think of it a "what's for lunch" - if you're eating USDA SCHOOL LUNCHES, that is! They're about to buy 7 million pounds of the stuff, God bless 'em! Don't worry! A George Bush Sr. - appointed USDA officer - and former president of the National Cattlemen's Association - once deem it safe. So relax ... And get our new cookbook! The Institute For Increasingly Abstract Notions of Meat presents The Scrappy Chef. Cooking With "Pink Gold." Your family will love these classic dishes from Tendon Tacos to Ligament Lasagna to my personal favorite, Grandma's Ammonia-Treated Meat-Like Balls! Mmm-mmm!
     
22. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-17 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-17 Pub. Date: 2012-01-17
Image Number: 89012
Caption: Slowpoke. Romney straps worker to roof of campaign bus. Breaking: Mitt Romney was spotted hauling a blue collar laborer on top of his campaign bus on the recent drive from New Hampshire to South Carolina. Conservative. Businessman. Leader. Romney. Believe in America. Romney says he wanted to bring "an ordinary American" with him on the campaign trail, but did not have room inside the vehicle. I have a large family, you know. It was either him or Tagg! Diner. Somewhere in Pennsylvania, the worker reportedly soiled himself, and Romney responded. Get me the @#*! offa here! Sploosh! Don't worry! At Bain, we specialized in hosing employees! Romney flatly denies accusations that he's hopelessly out of touch and heartless. Help! That's just the politics of envy. Like so many complainers, this guy's getting a free ride!
     
23. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-19 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-19 Pub. Date: 2011-09-19
Image Number: 89295
Caption: Slowpoke. LADIES! Come on down to … Unplanned Parenthood. Pregnancy Centers, GOP-Style. Pregnant Teen? We've got … So you had a happy accident! Helpful Pamphlets. Coupons for maternity-sized prom dresses. Free lollipops! Sexual Assault Victim? Let our counselors help! Eggs fertilized by a rapist's sperm are people too! You were probably showing a little thigh, weren't you? We don't provide cervical screening ... But we DO offer Lesbian Screening! Do you find Rachel Maddow hot? I ... I kinda DO! And don't forget to check out our store! We've got books .. The Rhythm Method Cookbook. Recipes for Enormous Families. And emergency contra-contraception - if you've taken Plan B but changed your mind! Plan C.
     
24. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-30 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-30 Pub. Date: 2011-07-30
Image Number: 89281
Caption: Slowpoke. Keepin' em straight through grade eight! A bill in Tennessee would make it illegal for teachers to even mention homosexuality to pupils below 9th grade. I'm sorry officer - The g-word just popped out! Sodomy-free school zone. Tell it to the judge, unwholesome wench! Inspired by Tennessee, Arkansas bans all equals signs from math class. Another symbol is quickly adopted. One man married one woman and they have six kids. How many people are in the family? Not to be outdone, Texas issues protective devices to all children.* Gay-cancelling headphones. Special "hear no queer" technology filters out pervert words. Heterogoggles. Replace one member of a same-sex couple with a person of the opposite sex. So as not to corrupt children who read newspapers, press coverage of these developments is limited. Ban on mentioning [unmentionable] goes into effect. As of today, it is officially illegal to discuss [unmentionable] publicly. While a majority of voters support the move, some [unmentionable] activists oppose the new law. Abigail Swenson, a [unmentionable], stated at a protest rally: "Unfair attack on [unmentionables] will not stand. "When asked ... "
     
25. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-04-23 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-04-23 Pub. Date: 2011-04-23
Image Number: 89296
Caption: Slowpoke. Hey, Americans! With a second recession on the way, more and more of you will be facing problems like this: How can we have a birthday party for Tommy when we live in a pup tent? Don’t worry - You can still entertain in style! INTRODUCING … ZIP HOMES. A hearth when you want one. HOW IT WORKS: Just make a reservation, wave your membership card at the front door, and you're in! Z. Zip homes have all the amenities of a real home, just like the one you used to enjoy. Heat! Flush Toilets! Refrigeration! Fill our blank picture frames with photos of your family (don't forget them when you leave!) For an extra fee, we'll throw in a friendly neighbor who likes to make small talk over the fence. Nice weather we're having, isn't it? Zip Homes: The American dream, by the hour!
     
26. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-01-01 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-01-01 Pub. Date: 2011-01-01
Image Number: 86598
Caption: Slowpoke. Many people seem to view government as a shopaholic of sorts. Families are cutting back. Why can't the guv'mint? Tax and spend! That's all these bureaucrats want to do! Some of these profligate officials agreed to speak with us anonymously. It started when I got a rush out of buying manhole covers. Now I get my fix ordering bridge repairs. Somebody please stop me! I'm sorry, but sending disability checks to people with horrific diseases and injuries is simply TOO MUCH FUN! It's like buying a new flat-screen TV EVERY DAY! I know I should cut back on trying to keep feces out of hamburger meat, but the truth is, I GET OFF on preventing foodborne illness. Sorry, taxpayers!
     
27. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-12-08 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-12-08 Pub. Date: 2009-12-08
Image Number: 91021
Caption: Slowpoke. Seeing Republican relatives this Thanksgiving? Here are some tips for keeping the peace. Lose the paraphernalia. Change. Barack! Obama. Biden. Vote Dem. Hope. Green Energy Now. Yes We Can. Impeach Bush. No McCain. Obama. Avoid gloating. BOO-YAH! We are the champions, my friends ... If the mood is right, you may attempt light Palin humor while pulling out the giblets. Almost like gutting a moose! HA HA! Squilch! Squilch! If relatives make inflammatory remarks, change the subject. So, are you finally happy now that Beelzebub will be running the country? Have you noticed the way these yams glisten in the candlelight?
     
28. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-08-17 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-08-17 Pub. Date: 2009-08-17
Image Number: 90706
Caption: Slowpoke. Stupidity Martyrs. Efforts to stop drivers from using cellphones tend to come up against logic like this: To me, the death of freedom is far worse than the risk of talking on the phone while driving. You can't legislate against stupidity! (Actual quote by a Utah State Rep.) People killed by gabbing drivers aren't victims - They're MARTYRS! When Mr. Boggs was crushed by a teenager texting behind the wheel of a Chevy Avalanche, he gave his life for our FREEDOM TO BE STUPID. Amen. Elmer Bogg 1948 - Why not honor these 2.600 fallen heroes each year with a memorial? Scrolling LCD display. Ann Billings. Karen Blake. Elmer Boggs. Surviving family members type in name of deceased. 2009. Other forms of stupidity could be recognized as well. Koff! Just exercising our idiotic liberties!
     
29. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-07-13 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-07-13 Pub. Date: 2009-07-13
Image Number: 90701
Caption: Slowpoke. State of the Nation. Special road trip edition. Stimulus money is being spent by the buttload on U.S. highways. Stock tip: Invest in reflecto-barrels! Not again! Putting America back to work. One lane next 12 miles. Americans are eating even worse than you thought. I'll have the oleaginous cakes and a side order of lipid sticks. Clogger's Family Chowdown. The continental truck divide separates varieties of pickups. Western. Southern. Large and powerful but also luxurious. Horns optional. Greater tire-to-body size ratio. Often clownlike. Retirement often turns the squarest Americans into neo-hippies. Bessie here is our home. life on the road - it's groovy!
     
30. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-06-15 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-06-15 Pub. Date: 2009-06-15
Image Number: 90698
Caption: Slowpoke. Ranger Drooly here! Now that loaded, concealed weapons will be allowed in national parks, you'll need to prepare for vacation … And battle! Check out the latest gear for … The Commando Camper. The Bradley Fighting Tent. Doosh! Surrounded by rifle-wielding yahoos strung out on crystal meth? care them off easily with this lightweight assault dome. Sleeps four. Killer Weenies. From the makers of Napalm s'mores, these hot dogs squirt flesh-dissolving acid! Is that a bear or a fellow camper? Better safe than sorry! Zing! Warning: Do not eat killer weenie. Exploding Decoy Children. 1. An animatronic decoy child filled with TNT is the last thing the bad guys will ever expect! 2. BOOM! Available in 12 ethnicities! Get in the spirit with Death Metal Campfire Songs. Bodies are bursting apart volcanic eruption of guts exploding cadavers bring forth a bloodbath to torment all life.* *Actual lyrics by Cannibal Corpse. "Because it's not a family vacation - it's war."
     
31. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-01-01 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-01-01 Pub. Date: 2009-01-01
Image Number: 86637
Caption: Slowpoke. Choose your own HEALTH INSURANCE ADVENTURE! Unemployed. Self-Employed. Crap Job, No Benefits. @#*!. Traditional Salaried Job. Amalgamated Consolidated Systems. Injured by runaway forklift, unable to work. Job outsourced to Mumbai. Time to buy your own! Welcome to Life Is Us, Inc. Apply Now! And let our family take care of yours. You have a plantar wart. Over 40? A Normal Person? You're young and Godlike in your physical perfection. Keep Job. Makin' Mad Benjamins! Insane Monthly Premium. Denied. Uh-oh! Pre-existing condition! State "High Risk" pool ridiculously expensive. Uninsured. You lose, sucka! ... But Broke. Attempt to treat yourself. D.I.Y. MD. The End. Congratulations! You have health insurance, just like the politicians, lobbyists, and executives opposed to a national health plan. But wait! You develop gangrene; plan finds a loophole, denies coverage. The system works great!
     
32. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-08-25 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-08-25 Pub. Date: 2008-08-25
Image Number: 91250
Caption: Slowpoke. Movin' On Up! My friends, social security is a disgrace. Always has been. It's time for people to take responsibility for themselves …. With my MOVIN' ON UP plan! It's simple: just do like I did - pull on your bootstraps and marry into a FAMILY FORTUNE! Right, Cindy? Yes, dear. "I'll provide a massive tax break for any wealthy American who marries someone with less money. It's a win-win!" "The new Office of Social Climbing will assist in training the unwashed masses in the ways of high society." Whut the - this menu has whores on it! Hors d'oeuvres, sir. They're appetizers. "A new website will guide people to available cash cows." Golddigger.gov. Amanda Smedley. Smedley's Snow Peas Heiress. Likes: Snow peas. "I hear the Coors family has some lovely nubile young ladies right now!" Now, who says I don't understand economics? Why hasn't everyone already done this? Drink Bud!
     
33. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-01-01 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-01-01 Pub. Date: 2008-01-01
Image Number: 92344
Caption: Slowpoke. Chris Matthews. NAD DEFENDER. Here's how political commentator Chris Matthews described Hillary Clinton's endorsers: Aren't you appalled at the willingness of these people to become CASTRATOS in the EUNUCH CHORUS? Matthews as clearly referring to a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Our models indicate that, it a WOMAN became President, all the nation's nads would spontaneously detach from their owners! A. B. Some say that the 150 million sets of cojones would be cryogenically frozen by Wiccans and held hostage to Hillary's agenda. I will release 10,000 family jewels for each of my health care proposals that is enacted! Now THAT'S political capital! Those eager to redeem their manhood could earn bollock redemption points by singing in a EUNUCH CHOIR. Our bits were taken by Hil-lary and now we sound like Ged-dy Lee! Hit those high notes, Chris! HRUMPH! Seems plausible to me!
     
34. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2006-01-01 family 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2006-01-01 Pub. Date: 2006-01-01
Image Number: 86612
Caption: Slowpoke. Wal*Mart wants to open an "Industrial Loan Corporation," which many think will lead to the opening of bank branches. Soon you may walk into a Wal*Bank. The Greeter. Welcome to Wal*Bank! Open a checking account and get a free ceramic lawn toad! The teller windows double as fast food stands - Accumulate fatty deposits while you make deposits! Honey mustard or barbecue sauce? Kongealed Fried Cholesterol and teller No. 8. Sleeps in her Hyundai. Anti-Union Spycam. The loan officer is himself $89,000 in debt. Plastic yard chair. Wal*Mart Global Domination Pie Chart. Wal*Mart. Not Wal*Mart. We can do it! The business model. Wal*Bank. Walton Family (The real Wal*Bank) Right-Wing Anti-Worker Politicians. Policies that hurt the poor. Tax cuts for hotel heiresses. More poor people! Poor people's money.
     
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