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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-03 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-03 Pub. Date: 2018-10-03
Image Number: 174290
Caption: Judge Groperman's supporters are really going to town on the woman who says he attacked her. I spend all night on Facebook defending her from the craziest, most hateful attacks. People called me a social justice warrior and a white knight, but I kept going. What for? Nobody changes their mind anymore. Changing your mind is so old-fashioned. You'll never get me to believe that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-01 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-01 Pub. Date: 2018-09-01
Image Number: 173793
Caption: Do you think it's weird I keep everything my son has ever made? What we talkin' 'bout keepin', bruh? Well … I have everything he's ever drawn. Normal. I have a tiny bag with the clipping from his first haircut. Normal. I have a tinier bag with his first booger. Lemme borrow your phone right quick so I can block you on Facebook.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-22 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-22 Pub. Date: 2018-08-22
Image Number: 173656
Caption: A voice from somewhere deep in the air duct system told me to be still, and to listen for the cries of a child, for it would lead me to a refugee whose story must be told. So I did. I stilled my mind … and it led me to wonder if I'd paid the gas bill, if I was missing an Amazon delivery, and if that cretin Gary226 had admitted defeat yet in our Facebook argument. Dios mio. Then I stilled my mind again ...
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-30 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166538
Caption: Hi, momma. What? Oh, no thanks, I don't need a roommate. (Sigh) … No, I don't care how wise and kind his posts are on your Facebook newsfeed. You did what? You gave him my address and told him he could stay with me until Uzbekistan extradites him? (Sigh) ... No, that's not what extradite means. (Sigh) ... Momma, you're not supposed to meet your random Facebook friends in real life. It's a rule ... You did what?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-11 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158398
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-30 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156200
Caption: I'm coming out with a new book, Clyde. It's called "I Have Over 1,000 Facebook Friends and Only 50 of Them Bought My Latest Book … I have 257,000 Twitter Followers, and Only 5,000 of Them Bought My Latest Book … and I Have One Allegedly Close Friend Sitting Right Next to Me and He's Never Bought Any of My Books." That's 'cause you titles be way too long, bruh. Colorblind Ed.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-22 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-22 Pub. Date: 2017-03-22
Image Number: 155915
Caption: What do you mean I didn't tell you I was moving to Canada? Of course I told you. Did not. I wrote a three-part article about it for my site. I posted it on Facebook. I tweeted it. I Instagrammed a photo of myself applying for a passport, wearing a "Canada's Always Been Great" shirt and sucking on a maple-leaf shaped lollipop. If you were really my best friend, you'd have told me personally. If you were really my best friend, you'd actually read the things I write.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-06 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-06 Pub. Date: 2017-03-06
Image Number: 155379
Caption: Mun - mun - munch mn. M. M. Will weed the total strangers out of your Facebook friends list, for food.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-05 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-05 Pub. Date: 2017-02-05
Image Number: 153474
Caption: Larry Wilcox ain't happy 'bout that new Chips movie, dawg. Larry who? Larry Wilcox, bruh. Can't believe you ain't remember "Jon" from Chips. Ponch & Jon, bruh, you know. Anyway … I saw the trailer, I laughed, ain't gonna lie. But then I checked his Facebook, like I often do. You do? Often? He pointed out this ain't nothin' like the show he was on. The one we watched when we was kids. An' he right. An' it got me thinkin' about all these reboots. Why they always takin' serious shows an' rebooting them as comedies? Why can't they go the other direction? I think I speak for us all when I say I wanna see a dark, gritty remake of Mr. Belvedere. I'm not sure "us all" means what you think it means.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-18 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153406
Caption: Vancouver was nervous, just like me. There we stood, two people who'd Facebooked every day for a year … who earn a living telling stories to millions … yet neither of us could string together a complete sentence. She drew me into her home in absolute silence ... Almost. I could hear out soft footsteps on her carpet. I could hear my own heart beating. I could hear my phone ring. I could hear her say "You gonna get that?" I could hear myself say "It's just a telemarketer." Dios mio.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-08 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-08 Pub. Date: 2017-01-08
Image Number: 152421
Caption: Kelly facebooked me the other day. She says she's getting married … Dr. Noodle … but that thoughts of me keep tugging at her heart. I replied I didn't know whether to be happy for her, and she wrote she didn't know either. So I wrote "don't marry him!" Why do you care? I don't care. I'm way over her. I never even think about her anymore. I just think that, generally speaking, nobody should marry anyone if they're not sure it's going to make them happy. My concern is for all of Kellykind. Do you mean "mankind"? What did I say?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-05 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-05 Pub. Date: 2016-12-05
Image Number: 151813
Caption: What ever happened with you and Sasha? Not a thing. Two years ago. But when she wrote to you on Facebook after 14 years, you were so thrilled. Yeah. We ended up talking all day and all night for months, made plans for the future, designed matching tattoos ... but then it turned out she was married with five kids, so that was that. I heard she's now divorced and living in another state. Are you sure "that was that"? Have you ever wondered what's the best way to change a subject?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-02 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-02 Pub. Date: 2016-12-02
Image Number: 151554
Caption: What're you doing? Just setting up. Dr. Noodle. I'm livecasting a reaction video to my therapy. It's streaming on Facebook Live and Youtube right now. Well? What're you waiting for? I think I can dispense with asking "Why have you come to therapy." Make sure you skip all the boring questions, I don't want to lose viewers.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-29 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151551
Caption: I demand to know why you pulled me off the Trump account, Mr. Fitzhugh. Ok, here it is: We took you off the account because of several negative Facebook posts about Trump during the election. What're you talking about? I never posted anything political. Anything at all! No, but a Facebook friend of yours "liked" a negative post someone else made. We don't want to take any chances.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-21 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-21 Pub. Date: 2016-08-21
Image Number: 146823
Caption: No, momma, I didn't see that post on "The Newsfeed." Remember, momma, I told you everyone sees a different newsfeed tailored just for them. It's based on what we search for online, what we type, etc … Ok, watch … load Facebook. "Load" means … never mind ... turn on the Facebook. Ok, now tell me what's on your screen. Uh-huh ... Uh-huh ... See? That's the perfect example, momma ... I don't see a single post about Idris Elba's booty on MY newsfeed. And I'd like to stop talking about this now.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-03 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-03 Pub. Date: 2016-08-03
Image Number: 146690
Caption: I posted a really cute old picture of me dancing with Gary Coleman on Facebook. My sister's demanding I delete it, just 'cause her stupid ex is in the background. I said "no way," so now she's not talking to me. What do you think of that, Lemont? I think it's interesting how you turn every conversation into one about you. Yeah. That reminds me of my date last night ... Of course it does.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-23 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-23 Pub. Date: 2016-05-23
Image Number: 143637
Caption: Do you think it's weird to keep everything my son has ever made? What we talkin' 'bout keepin', bruh? Well … I have everything he's ever drawn. Normal. I have a tiny bag with the clippings from his first haircut. Normal. I have a tinier bag with his first booger. Lemme borrow your phone right quick so I can block you on Facebook.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-17 Facebook 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141571
Caption: I'm so happy, doc. I think I'm falling madly in love with an Israeli women I met in Turkey. Dr. Noodle. That's interesting. Just last month, you were still in love with Kelly. And the month before that, you were in love with Marie. And two months before that, it was Sharquisha. You're constantly falling in and out of love. Out? Who said anything about "out"? I still love every woman I've ever loved. With all my heart and soul. With the intensity of the big bang itself. You don't like seeing things end, do you? I've Facebook friended everyone I've ever met.
     
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