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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-12 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-12 Pub. Date: 2018-11-12
Image Number: 174935
Caption: Existence is cruel, Rosencrantz. And that is because of the nature of energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, so it must be stolen. For one creature to gain it, another creature or a plant must lose it and perish. To birth a star system and all its worlds ... a nebula must die. For a man to gain the good side of the sidewalk crack, his partner must lose it. Give it back. Your quarrel is not with me, Rosencrantz. It is with existence itself.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-25 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174603
Caption: Momma, why can't you watch Lionel for me? It's only two weeks. I have an important story to go cover. What do you mean you don't have the energy? … Yes, yes I know you're not 22 anymore, but you … Yes, Yes I know you're not 23 anymore. But … Yes, I know you're not 24 -- Are we going to go through every number there is? ... No, I'm not saying you're that old. Hello? Are you still there?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-29 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172924
Caption: What's your worst fear, Lemont? Easy. Vacuum decay. As you probably know … The Higgs Field that holds the entire universe together could collapse at any moment. If at any point in reality, a tiny part of the Higgs Field slipped from its high-energy state to its lowest one, it would start an entropic cascade. It would collapse the entire Higgs Field. A bubble would expand at the speed of light obliterating the laws of physics within its growing sphere. Galaxies, stars, planets, you, me, goldfish ... All of our atoms would be instantly blasted apart. And get this: It may have already happened. Since it only grows at the speed of light, we'll have no warning at all ... I'm also afraid of the dentist. If I can't sleep tonight it's totally your fault.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-11 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-11 Pub. Date: 2018-03-11
Image Number: 168713
Caption: The president wants a big giant military parade. The president wants to cut food stamps. A lot of the military is on food stamps, how's the military going to have the energy to march in his big giant parade? Maybe he gonna put a bag of carrots at the finish line.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-06 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-06 Pub. Date: 2018-01-06
Image Number: 166784
Caption: 1982. Do you believe in life after death, Susan? Of course. Me too. It's the first law of thermal dynamics. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only transmogrify into something else … like a sea anemone. I've decided I'll be a sea anemone. Not a care in the world, it's be a welcome interlude between this life and my next one where I'm a Jedi. I don't know if you get to choose what happens to your energy, Lemont. No offense, but I think Obi-Wan and Yoda know more about that than you do.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-28 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156198
Caption: I've been wanting to see "get out" for weeks, Susan. I remember before I had a kid, I was at the movies every week. Now I don't have the time of the energy. I can't remember the last movie I saw that didn't involve a talking fish or a puppet. Reason #28,754 why I'll never have kids. On the other hand, movies won't change your diapers when you're old.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-08 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-08 Pub. Date: 2015-11-08
Image Number: 134381
Caption: NASA has hinted they'll find "definitive evidence" of alien life within 30 years. What if they're not just talking about microbes? I just read that the Kepler telescope discovered something amazing. Far away, around a star called KIC 8462852, Kepler spotted clumps of what seem to be artificial megastructures orbiting the star. Maybe the reason NASA's so confident they'll find life is because Kepler seems to a Dyson sphere under construction. A Dyson sphere is a megastructure that totally encompasses a start that whoever builds it can harness most of the star's energy output. KIC 8462852 is 1,500 light year away, Clyde. Do you know what that means? It mean you finally out-geeked y'self? It means we're looking 1500 years into the past at what may be the emergence of a type II civilization on the Karshev scale!!!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-25 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-25 Pub. Date: 2012-08-25
Image Number: 86187
Caption: You think there a afterlife, Big L? Well, everything in the universe - everything including life - is made of energy. And energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Is you still talking? Everything except patience.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-30 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-30 Pub. Date: 2011-09-30
Image Number: 65953
Caption: Where've you been, making another "look at me, dancing with my food stamps" video for YouTube? Nah, dawg ... been in the studio wit' my boy Rex. Who? Rex Tillerson, Chairman and CEO of Exxon. We shot a video of him dancing with his $3 billion taxpayer subsidy card. I don't believe that. 'Sup playa? Hootie-Hooo!!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-21 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-21 Pub. Date: 2008-06-21
Image Number: 24240
Caption: "Everything is made of energy." Quantum Theory. "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed." First Law of Thermodynamics. If the soul is made of energy, then it can't be destroyed when we die. Is boredom made of energy? Well, it's a function of the brain, and the brain's made of en-- Shut up and go to sleep!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-21 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-21 Pub. Date: 2006-07-21
Image Number: 14226
Caption: Congress? This is Lemont Brown from the Courier. We have outrageous energy prices, over 40 million uninsured, our voting machines are failing every test, and our high-paying jobs are going overseas. You've ignored all that, but wasted weeks talking about flag-burning and gay marriage. My questions is why have you cut and run from America?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-09 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-19 Pub. Date: 2006-07-09
Image Number: 14169
Caption: Yo, can you move down a couple seats, bruh? I got a large party here, dawg. Thanks, son. It's hot as a @#$% out there, you feel me? Who are they? Oh, they're my homeboys from outta state. The GOP buses them in before elections every couple years to distract voters from important issues. Some people. Gay marriage. Spanish-speakers. Flag burning. For a few months, our leaders pretend they're the most dangerous problems in the world -- more urgent that terrorism, war, gas prices, healthcare, etc.... Once the election's over, they go home. It's seasonal work. Que? got a light?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-04 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-05 Pub. Date: 2006-05-04
Image Number: 13629
Caption: The far-left blames Bush for everything! 9-11, lost jobs, high gas prices, Iraq, the slow response to Hurricane Katrina, North Korea and maybe Iran getting nukes … but it's not all his fault, after all. Ever since he took office, there's been nothing but disaster after disaster. What? Nothing. Thank god for culture clash.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-03-27 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-03-29 Pub. Date: 2006-03-27
Image Number: 13327
Caption: Yo, L, I'm feeling overworked an' everything. Run down. Ragged. You feel me? I'm thinking of taking a six-month sabbatical, Dawg. Y'know, to recharge my batteries. Refill the well. Clyde, you don't have a job. That's beside the point.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-16 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-18 Pub. Date: 2006-01-16
Image Number: 12762
Caption: I'm tired of liberals bashing Bush for every little thing. Take the coal miners who died, for instance. Just because Bush, adjusting for inflation, cut funding for the mine safety and health administration by $4.9 million and just 'cause those cuts resulted in the loss of 170 jobs at MSHA and just because Bush cut funding for programs aimed at mitigating entrapment deaths some loony liberals think he was somehow partly to blame for what happened.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-08 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-08 Pub. Date: 2006-01-08
Image Number: 12695
Caption: What're you reading, kid? The constitution. Teacher gave it to me. "We the shareholders of the United States in order to form a more perfect market, establish order, insure domestic tranquility for Iraq, provide for the common defense of Iraq while going deep into debt, promote the corporate welfare and secure the blessings of liberty to other countries and their posterity, do ordain and establish this neoconstitution for the United Energy Companies of America. You don't go to public school, do you? Did the Bill of Rights always have an asterisk next to it?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-25 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-27 Pub. Date: 2005-12-25
Image Number: 12590
Caption: War without end, federal agents abusing the Patriot Act to ready my journal without my permission, outrageous gas prices, skyrocketing housing prices, hundreds of thousands of jobs lost or outsourced and a White House that tortures war prisoners. Oh, and then there's rejection by the New Yorker, bad dates and a receding hairline. Dios mio, Lemont. And you did you get for Christmas, Clyde? Socks from momma. Oh, I also got unaffordable health care.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-18 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-20 Pub. Date: 2005-12-18
Image Number: 12537
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, I have a problem with the changes you made to my latest ad campaign. You wrote "Are you tired of energy drinks that taste sweet and weigh you down? Get Jabberhead, the 100% pure energy drink with zero calories and zero fat. It's everything your body needs -- nothing it doesn't need." What's your point, Garcia? It's water. Do I say it's not?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-02 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-05 Pub. Date: 2005-12-02
Image Number: 12392
Caption: 2001. In other news, energy company executives are meeting with Dick Cheney to craft America's energy policy. 2005. In other news, nobody seems to know why energy prices are so high or why energy companies are enjoying highest profits in history.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-30 energy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-31 Pub. Date: 2005-10-30
Image Number: 12084
Caption: Spare change? Spare gas?
     
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