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The Elderly Comics And Cartoons

collected from fifty of the best cartoonists.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-02 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-02 Pub. Date: 2015-09-02
Image Number: 131969
Caption: Look at you. The vacant stare … the peach fuzz on your chin … the blissfully naοve countenance of an ignoramus … You're a man-child, Rudy. Someone had to tell you. Well? Say something, man-child. Oh. Sorry. I was just lost in thought … because it occurred to me that the whole country is only about two and a half times older than you. Zip it, baby-man!
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-23 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-23 Pub. Date: 2015-08-23
Image Number: 130664
Caption: What's the first thing you remember? Why do you ask? Because it'll help the cosmologists. Come again? Cosmologists have discovered a lot about the universe. In 1990, they discovered cosmic microwaves are "black body radiation." What that means is, they discovered the microwave radiation that fills the universe conforms exactly to a pattern known as a "black body spectrum" that was predicted by models of the big bang. English!!! They proved the big bang happened. But one of the big questions cosmologists still can't answer is: "What came before the big bang?" Cosmologists everywhere would very much love to hear about your earliest memory. Get ready to experience the second big bang!!!
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-11 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-11 Pub. Date: 2015-08-11
Image Number: 131124
Caption: The Koch Brothers Marvel at Their Fellow Americans. Look at that Charles. The black lives matter people are attacking the old liberal anti-billionaire guy … and to think we were worried.
4. Cartoonist Signe Wilkinson  Signe Wilkinson's Editorial Cartoons 2009-05-15 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Signe Wilkinson's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-04 Pub. Date: 2009-05-15
Image Number: 33531
Caption: Sorry, mom. That's the ice floe I was going to put you on. Social Security.
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-03 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-03 Pub. Date: 2015-08-03
Image Number: 130658
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? How can I talk my dad out of supporting Donald Trump? Good question. The answer is: What the @#% is wrong with you?! We have a candidate who taunts and mocks people as if he were a ten-year-old bully on the playground ... and you want to ruin it?! I've waited my whole life for this! Ruin it and I'll bury you! Sorry.
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-27 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-27 Pub. Date: 2015-07-27
Image Number: 130391
Caption: I'm thinking of voting for Bernie Sanders, but I have no idea why. I know why, little buddy. Socialist. Old man. Gray, frizzy hair. Gets grumpy when people aren't listening to him. Not following. Think … Doesn't all that remind you of someone you know and love? How can you just sit there sipping coffee while billionaire oligarchs are buying our elections?!
7. Cartoonist John Deering  Strange Brew 2015-07-14 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2015-07-14 Pub. Date: 2015-07-14
Image Number: 129699
Caption: Hot dang, Beulah! My student loan is finally paid off!
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-12 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-12 Pub. Date: 2015-07-12
Image Number: 128758
Caption: My gmail account is full. I can't get any more email. You can't? I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs. People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if and when you were going to reply. And the spam was fun. You never get to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts. Just delete stuff. If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get new emails again. I can't do that. Those emails are the chronicle of my life between 2004 and 2015. When future historians want to see what Rudy Park was saying and experiencing in his prime, this archive will be priceless. I must preserve my emails, much as millennia of sediment preserved the dinosaurs. The Rudysaurus Rex was a dimwitted, slow-moving species. Driven extinct by its lack of dating skills.
9. Cartoonist Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2015-07-12 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2015-07-12 Pub. Date: 2015-07-12
Image Number: 128772
Caption: Pull yer shells up, ya whippersnappers!
10. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2015-07-11 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129192
Caption: I'm so embarrassed, I got a speeding ticket for DWI. What? How could that be? No, it's not what you think … driving while incontinent. Oh.
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-09 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-09 Pub. Date: 2015-07-09
Image Number: 129352
Caption: An 18-year-old was killed after using an app to track down his lost phone. That's awful. Maybe those apps should have an "alert police" button that pops up when they find your phone. So people don't take matters into their own hands. Yeah. And the phones should be booby-trapped, so you can remotely make them spray the thief with indelible polka-dot ink. Let's leave the solutions to me, ok, little buddy? It might also be a good idea to surgically implant our phones in our forearms.
12. Cartoonist Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2015-07-05 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2015-07-05 Pub. Date: 2015-07-05
Image Number: 128367
Caption: Okay, general, tee off. I found it, sir! Look what I won at the tournament! Were you the only one in your age group again?
13. Cartoonist Berkeley Breathed  Opus 2007-11-18 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Berkeley Breathed
Comic/Cartoon: Opus
Viewable Date: 2015-07-02 Pub. Date: 2007-11-18
Image Number: 19606
Caption: Auggie, Opus is still in sad denial that being 12 years old is fully MIDDLE-AGED in penguin years. LOOK AT ME! THE PICTURES OF VIBRANT VIRILE VIGORNESS! ATTABOY, YOUNG DUDE! No getting' dragged into that sneaky, seductive mental quicksand of midlife for you!! Whoa! Wait! Wait! Something's pulling me! STOP YOURSELF!! CAN'T!! YEEAAAAAIGH! THWUNK!! FWOOP! Hello. Welcome! Scoot closer! OPUS! NO! Too late. Register Republican. Balanced budgets, right? And smaller government! And no nation building! We're not the world's policemen! Sign there.
14. Cartoonist Berkeley Breathed  Opus 2007-11-11 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Berkeley Breathed
Comic/Cartoon: Opus
Viewable Date: 2015-06-29 Pub. Date: 2007-11-11
Image Number: 19332
Caption: I love autumn. I love crinkling leaves between my toes. Do you mind being in the autumn of your life, Opus? Me? I'm 12, Binkley. That's penguin years. In people years, you're 50. 50?! I'M ALMOST DEAD?? Well, I wouldn't put it tha-- CLOCK'S TICKING! TIME TO LIVE!! Stomp! TRIPLE GRANDE FULL CAFF MOCHA! WHOLE MILK!! Anything else? YES!! SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH. Slurp! Slurp! Smack. Yum! Chomp. Bungee jump $25. YEEAHHHH!! Crinkle... Crinkle... Crinkle crinkle...
15. Cartoonist Ann Telnaes  Ann Telnaes' Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-29 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Ann Telnaes
Comic/Cartoon: Ann Telnaes' Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-29 Pub. Date: 2015-06-29
Image Number: 129201
Caption: Censored. Cite as: 576 U.S. - (2015). Scalia, J., dissenting. Every State violated the Constitution for all of the 135 years between the Fourteenth Amendment's ratification and Massachusetts' permitting of same-sex marriage in 2003. They have discovered in the Fourteenth Amendment a "fundamental right" overlooked by every person alive at the time of ratification, and almost everyone else in time since. They see what lesser legal minds - minds like Thomas Cooley, John Marshall Harlan, Olive Wendall Holmes, Hr., Learned Hand, Louis Brandeis, William Howard Taft, Benjamin Cardozo, Hugo Black, Felix Frankfurter, Robert Jackson, and Henry Friendly - could not. They are certain that the People ratified the Fourteenth Amendment to bestow on them the power to remove questions from the democratic process when is called for by their "reasoned judgment." These Justices know that limiting marriage to one mand and one woman is contrary to reason; they know that an institution as old as government itself, and accepted by every nation in history until 15 years ago, cannot possibly be supported by anything other than ignorance or bigotry. And they are willing to say that any citizen who does not agree with that, who adheres to what was, until 15 years ago, the unanimous judgment of all generations and all societies, stands against the Constitution. The opinion is couched in a style that is as pretentious as its content is egotistic. It is one thing for separate concurring or dissenting opinions to contain extravagances, even silly extravagances, of thought and expression; it is something else for the official opinion of the Court to do so. Of course the opinion's show profundities are often profoundly incoherent. "The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy and spirituality. (Really? Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality [whatever that means] were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie. Expression, sure enough, is a freedom, but anyone in a long-lasting marriage will attest that that happy state constricts, rather than expands, what one can prudently say.) Rights, we are told, can "rise ... from a better informed understanding of how constitutional imperatives define a liberty that remains urgent in our own era. (Huh? How can a better informed understanding of how constitutional imperatives [whatever that means] define [whatever that means] an urgent liberty [never mine], give birth to a right?) and we are told that, "[i]n any particular case," either the Equal Protection of Due Process Clause "may be thought to capture the essence of [a] right in a more accurate and comprehensive way, than the other, "even as the two Clauses may converge in the identification and definition of the right. (What say? What possible "essence" does substantive due process "capture" in an "accurate and comprehensive way"? It stands for nothing whatever, except those freedoms and entitlements that this Court really likes. And the Equal Protection Clause, as employed today, identifies nothing except a difference in treatment that this Court ... Obergfell v. Hodges. If, even as the price to be paid for a fifth vote, I never joined an opinion for the Court that began: "The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity." I would hide my head in a bag. The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie.
16. Cartoonist Berkeley Breathed  Bloom County 1982-07-30 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Berkeley Breathed
Comic/Cartoon: Bloom County
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 1982-07-30
Image Number: 78967
Caption: This looks like a bar. Why are we here, Steve? Class field trip … To, uh … Observe the human condition. The human condition! Yes … People seem to be in a variety of them here. Uh … Why don’t y'all just fan out … Aren't we a tad young to be in here Mr. Dallas? Just act old. Right. Act old. Yeah. Bourbon and Coke! Scotch and asparagus! Pork and beans!
17. Cartoonist Mike Lester  Mike Lester's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-05 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike Lester's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-05 Pub. Date: 2015-06-05
Image Number: 128207
Caption: Why TSA fails. USA. TSA.
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-04 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-04 Pub. Date: 2015-06-04
Image Number: 128865
Caption: Mr. Putin Counsels His Old Friend Sepp Blatter on How to Deal With Criticism. Some people criticized me when I got eight goals in a hockey game last month … and where are those people now?
19. Cartoonist Steve Kelley  Steve Kelley's Editorial Cartoons 2008-07-30 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley
Comic/Cartoon: Steve Kelley's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-02 Pub. Date: 2008-07-30
Image Number: 25490
Caption: I must be overdoing it..There's a really old guy screaming at me..Drive slow, save gas.
20. Cartoonist Mike Twohy  That's Life 2004-03-23 elderly 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Twohy
Comic/Cartoon: That's Life
Viewable Date: 2015-05-29 Pub. Date: 2004-03-23
Image Number: 6805
Caption: It was owned by a little old lady who only cruised on Sundays.
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