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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-21 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157016
Caption: Y'know, this world could be a paradise. For the amount of money the world spends on war … We could pay people to leave the rainforests alone. We could feed everyone. We could give everyone health care and an education. We could plant gardens everywhere. The big flower industry would hire armed goons to protect the roses.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-14 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-14 Pub. Date: 2016-12-14
Image Number: 152112
Caption: Are you ok, mister? I'm fine. Why do you ask? I saw you smack into that pole and crumble like a glacier falling into the sea. Pretty advanced metaphor for your age. We've got great schools in Canada.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-31 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145874
Caption: Hello, Mr. Dogg. My hingoa is "Richie." I am calling from illustrious Tonga Tech Alumni Association. You achieved your degree at our online university. Got my doctorate, fool. Get it right. We would like for to extend to you the invitation to now pursue your double doctorate. For a low low price of only $150 U.S. dollars per day you can take your Tonga Tech educationals to the ultimate level in only six weeks. Whatchyall got in your extra-doctorate program, bruh? C-Dog time is valuable. I ain't got six weeks for you, not unless your curriculum is bangin'. We've got very many programs of some sort that will allow you to call yourself "Double Doctor." ... such as a doctorate in real estate management, taught by cardboard cutout of Donald Trump. Lemme think about it. "Double Doctor Dogg" got a ring to it.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-08 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-08 Pub. Date: 2016-05-08
Image Number: 142479
Caption: I read that dumb article you wrote, where you said we should have magical fairies deliver caramel-covered mountains of cash in sacks made of rainbows to every man, woman and child. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't do it … Don't do it … That's not all that I wrote. I wrote that we should give our war veterans better access to health care, education, and job training. If you have to explain what you wrote, then what you wrote wasn't very clear. Gah!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-04 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137375
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Desilettes sent us up to the board two at a time to see who could divide faster. Did you win? I put down the chalk and told her "I refuse to participate in your divisive attempt to pit children against one another.? Dios mio. I told her this was how the arms race started. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-17).
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-03 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-03 Pub. Date: 2015-08-03
Image Number: 130583
Caption: I don't understand why Bernie Sanders isn't polling better among minorities, Clyde. He's our best ally in the race. He's fought against mass incarceration and mandatory minimum sentences for decades. He wants undergraduate education to be free to students, like K-12. He's strong on voting rights ... Yeh, but bruh ... the man name is "Bernie." That's like Bert an' Ernie put together. A muppet don't have no business askin' for my vote. I can't believe your vote counts as much as mine.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-24 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-24 Pub. Date: 2015-06-24
Image Number: 128673
Caption: Studies show that teachers are more likely to harshly punish black students than they are white ones who do the same things. Even black teachers do it. How am I supposed to feel comfortable sending my baby boy out into the world when I know this sort of stuff happens? They done called me a "troublemaker" from day one. Didn't do me no harm. Maybe I'll home-school him til he's got his Ph.D. it was educational. I be in the principal office so much that I learned exactly where he keep his spare house keys.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-07 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-07 Pub. Date: 2014-11-07
Image Number: 118499
Caption: I miss those late-night dorm room conversations that could make me see the world differently. For instance, if we were in college right now … … I might point out that we're all basically surgically attached to our Smartphones. Which means we've evolved into A SPECIES OF CYBORGS. ... And that if you Google the definition of "cyborg" to prove me wrong, THAT'LL PROVE ME RIGHT. You right, that DID make me see things different. Now I know I didn't miss nothin' not going to college.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-03 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-03 Pub. Date: 2014-10-03
Image Number: 117060
Caption: … Because when libs talk "equal opportunity," they really mean "give me stuff I didn't earn." If you can't afford something, don't expect government to give it to you. If you didn't work hard enough to afford it, you just can't have it. Freeloaders. No, I asked why you're in favor of vouchers for private schools. Oh. 'Cause poor kids deserve private school too. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-06-02).
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-29 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-29 Pub. Date: 2013-05-29
Image Number: 97401
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Maury, I can't possibly be the daddy. We was only together that one time. An' it was the first time for both of us. E'rebody know you cant make a baby if it your first time. What that tell you, Maury? What that tell you? ... That they need better sex ed classes. Thug 4 Life.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-01 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-01 Pub. Date: 2013-04-01
Image Number: 95254
Caption: Have you ever though of getting back to school, Clyde? All the time, fool. It was one of the only redeeming qualities of the eighties. Thug 4 Life. Rodney Dangerfield crazy. I have every one of his movies except that one. Even steal-movies-dot-com don't have that one. What? What? Thug 4 Life.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-01 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-01 Pub. Date: 2013-02-01
Image Number: 93013
Caption: On the bright side, when western civilization collapses into a post-apocalyptic orgy of violence and exploitation, and the newly unemployed hordes desperately struggle to survive, you and I can teach seminars. (Published originally on 2010-09-24.)
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-08 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-08 Pub. Date: 2012-08-08
Image Number: 85361
Caption: I'm thinking of a number from fourteen to ninety … It’s divisible by both two and seven … … And long ago it cost an innocent 1st grader a passing grade in math. Fourteen. Don’t rub it in.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-04 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-04 Pub. Date: 2012-06-04
Image Number: 81657
Caption: P. Diddy's son got a football scholarship to UCLA. P. Diddy the richest cat in hip-hop. He got like $550 million. Why should a rich kid get a full scholarship, but someone like me who need it can't get nothing? 'Cause he earned it. An' it ain't fair they only give scholarships to people who go to college.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-02 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-02 Pub. Date: 2012-06-02
Image Number: 81467
Caption: … Because when libs talk "equal opportunity," they really mean "give me stuff I didn't earn." If you can't afford something, don't expect government to give it to you. If you didn't work hard enough to afford it, you just can't have it. Freeloaders. No, I asked why you're in favor of vouchers for private schools. Oh. 'Cause poor kids deserve private school too.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-17 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-17 Pub. Date: 2012-05-17
Image Number: 80978
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Desilettes sent us up to the board two at a time to see who could divide faster. Did you win? I put down the chalk and told her "I refuse to participate in your divisive attempt to pit children against one another.? Dios mio. I told her this was how the arms race started.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-01 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-01 Pub. Date: 2012-02-01
Image Number: 75826
Caption: What do you mean you have nothing for me? You majored in liberal arts … Jobville Employment Agency. … Which doesn't qualify you for the jobs that are still out there. You should've thought ahead, like I did. Identified growth industries and majored in one of them. What did you major in? Unemployment counseling. With a minor in post-apocalyptic foraging.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-30 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-30 Pub. Date: 2011-12-30
Image Number: 74743
Caption: I wouldn't get on unemployment insurance even if I qualified. I've never taken a handout in my life. While everyone else was getting grants and loans, I worked four jobs to put myself through college! I thought that's cause you procrastinated and missed all the filing deadlines. That's not how I re-remember it.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-08 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-08 Pub. Date: 2011-12-08
Image Number: 31626
Caption: Sir, I deserve a promotion and a raise. Garcia, ever seen my valedictorian trophy? After Yale, I did graduate work at the Larry Tate College of Advertising. All my years of training have prepared me for this moment. …Hand me that trophy. Click. RUUMBLE. ...Sir? (Published originally on 2009-04-16)
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-28 education 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-28 Pub. Date: 2011-11-28
Image Number: 73556
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Cass just taught us about the big bang. It's how the Universe started, in a big explosion. What exploded? A singularity. Mrs. Cass told us "It's like a zit. You may not know where it came from, but you sure do know when it pops." What's a "zit"? I almost never understand what Mrs. Cass says.
     
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