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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-29 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-29 Pub. Date: 2019-11-29
Image Number: 180582
Caption: What am I going to do with all that leftover Thanksgiving turkey? Maybe I should donate some to a homeless shelter. Maybe I could donate it to a nursing home. Or maybe I'll just use it over the next couple weeks to feed my precious baby boy. Geez, Lemont ... I'm not the only one who took seconds. Sixths, Susan ... not that I was counting.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-23 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-23 Pub. Date: 2019-03-23
Image Number: 176840
Caption: I've decided to get Elon Musk to send me for a trip around the moon in two years. I set up a Gofundme page to crowdsource money for it. My goal is to raise ten billion dollars. That shouldn't be too hard, considering there are seven billion people on earth. Non of whom are going to give you a dime. I hope not. That would only come to seven hundred million. Annoyed? How'd you like to send me far away? Here's a link to my Gofundme.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-13 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-13 Pub. Date: 2018-07-13
Image Number: 172717
Caption: At the refugee internment camp. I feel for the babies and their asylum-seeking parents. Most fled for their lives, only to have their families ripped apart. And when they're deported, many of those men, women and children will face certain doom. I've never known you to be so compassionate, boss. Most of them couldn't use any vast savings to bribe stooges - I mean, their connections on the city council - to donate a condemned storefront so they could open a new cafe once they're smuggled out of jail. VERY BAD MAN. Times like these make me conscious of my privilege.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-04 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-04 Pub. Date: 2017-07-04
Image Number: 159980
Caption: Meanwhile, in Moscow … Hello, you've reached the office of California Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon. Moscow. If you're a pharmaceutical of health care industry lobbyist calling to donate another $150 thousand to my campaign fund, press "one." If you're a journalist calling to ask why I killed a highly popular single-payer health care bill that would've saved countless lives and insulated Californians from Trumpcare, press 2. Sorry, Speaker Rendon is unavailable to talk right now.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-03 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-03 Pub. Date: 2017-06-03
Image Number: 158605
Caption: Heavenly father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, heavenly father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-02 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-02 Pub. Date: 2016-07-02
Image Number: 145233
Caption: I own several properties, bruh. I got a booth in a recording studio I won in a game of dominoes, I got my apartment I won in a game of dice … I got 42 houses I bought in Flint, MI, for $28 … Whachoo think America would say 'bout me if I ran for president, held events at my own properties, an' then used people' campaign donations to pay myself $1 million in rent? They'd just say the same thing they say about Trump, that's it's perfectly legal. Thelma Jr. Bruh, have you met America?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-28 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-28 Pub. Date: 2016-06-28
Image Number: 145229
Caption: You've reached Senator Marionette's office. To ask a question, press or say "one" now. "One." If your question is "where do I send a campaign donation," press or say "one" now. If your question is about why I block all attempts at gun control even after enormous massacres, please hang up now. Not falling for it.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-17 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-17 Pub. Date: 2015-04-17
Image Number: 125566
Caption: Heavenly Father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … Even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, Heavenly Father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-22 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-22 Pub. Date: 2015-01-22
Image Number: 121834
Caption: Out of curiosity, why do you ask if I know where C-Dog was earlier today? $1000 in small, Cheeto-dust covered bills was left at the altar this morning, with a note that said "use this to help victims of gun violence." That doesn't sound like C-Dog. "This definitely ain't from a hardcore G like C-Dog. Sincerely, C-Dog." I know nothing. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-04).
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-29 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-29 Pub. Date: 2013-11-29
Image Number: 104374
Caption: Dick Fink, how long have you been standing there? Oh … I don’t know. They took my watch, I was mugged while saving a kitten on my way to volunteer at the orphanage for the elderly. Is this about how your job is in danger? What? It is? I had no idea. I've been too busy supporting my seven children and donating half my salary to leprosy relief in Guam.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-03 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-03 Pub. Date: 2013-09-03
Image Number: 101088
Caption: Meanwhile, across town … "Donations are down because it's summer, and when people go on vacation … " … Their donations go with them." "I've been praying on it long and hard, Rollo. I didn’t even get dressed yesterday; spent all day in my prayer closet, in my Underoos. "Don't put that part in the letter. Just tell them tithing is good for the soul." ... Oh.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-09 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-09 Pub. Date: 2013-06-09
Image Number: 97405
Caption: Rev, you know how you announced that we need $100k for renovations? Why do you ask, Marlin? Well … A congregant named Steven Warren put a $100,000 check in the donation plate. I don’t know if we should cash it: it seems like it must be a mistake. For one thing, the largest donation we ever made before was $50. "Looketh not a gift horse in the mouth." Not an official verse, but it should've been. Also, he mistakenly signed it "Mick E. Mouse. "Letteth not an unconventional nickname stop you from cashing a check." Not an official verse ...
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-04 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-04 Pub. Date: 2013-01-04
Image Number: 91702
Caption: Out of curiosity, why do you ask if I know where C-dog was earlier today? $1000 in small, Cheeto-dust covered bills was left at the altar this morning, with a note that said "Use this to help victims of gun violence." That doesn't sound like C-dog. "This definitely ain't from a hardcore G like C-dog." Sincerely, C-dog." I know nothing.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-13 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-13 Pub. Date: 2012-01-13
Image Number: 75072
Caption: I've scheduled a hearing with unemployment, and I'm looking for a job. But in the meantime, I have mouths to feed. I gave you $5 a week for 26 years. That comes to $6,760. The donation plate is not a savings account. I can accept cash, checks or Paypal.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-08 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-08 Pub. Date: 2010-11-08
Image Number: 53956
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Why do bad things happen to me? I'm a good person. I pay my taxes, I donate blood, I help little old ladies cross the street … … But I end up with an evil ex-fiancee, a friend who leaches off me, a receding hairline … Is this a bad time to tell you I'm raising my hourly fee? From now on the little old ladies are on their own!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-20 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-20 Pub. Date: 2010-06-20
Image Number: 48471
Caption: Goodwill. Don't want it? DONATE IT! I'm sorry, sir, we don't accept melancholy. To donate.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-16 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-16 Pub. Date: 2009-09-16
Image Number: 38470
Caption: Just read your new column: "What Chucho's Hauling Van Tells us about Health Care Reform." What an unorthodox metaphor. Sometimes, Brown, I marvel at how a man's brain can make the connections yours makes. Um … thanks? Sir? Yes? Was that praise or an insult? I hope someday you'll donate your synapses to science.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-08 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-08 Pub. Date: 2008-08-08
Image Number: 25611
Caption: Thank you so much for giving me a kidney. Excuse me… Adding "so much" is unnecessary. And worse, you're telling people that whenever you say "thank you" without adding "so much," you only mean it a little bit. I'd thank you to stay out of my !@#$ business. See? Now how do I know you really mean that?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-02 donate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-03 Pub. Date: 2006-01-02
Image Number: 12644
Caption: Dear Churchgoers, Are you aware that secularists recently tried to remove Jesus from New Year's celebrations? In fact, they have done their best to convince us that Jesus was never a part of New Year's celebrations in the first place. The next time someone tells you "Happy New Year," remind them that the phrase has always been "Happy New Savior..." and send in you large donation to help us fight for New Year Jesus. Sincerely, Rev. Wilfred W. Wilfred
     
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