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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-20 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-20 Pub. Date: 2019-02-20
Image Number: 176399
Caption: What qualifies you to run for health commissioner? Lack of experience. I'm not involved in the restaurant, nutritional or hospital industries. Therefore I won't be tempted to meddle like some liberal government obstructionist. My ignorance is the free market's gain! Suddenly, I feel euphoric and I don't know why.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-06 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-06 Pub. Date: 2019-02-06
Image Number: 176184
Caption: I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-04 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-04 Pub. Date: 2019-02-04
Image Number: 176182
Caption: Rudy, I want you to get to know my pet gerbil. I think I'm catching a cold. He's not good in new situations. I can hear you. This is weird. Don't freak out, Rudy. Trust me, it's all very normal. Want a hand bath? I want a Kleenex. Help.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-03 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-03 Pub. Date: 2019-02-03
Image Number: 175852
Caption: Ask Sadie! I'm 50, reasonably attractive and intelligent, but I haven't had a date in 19 years. How do I get back into the dating scene? - KC, Tacoma, WA** **actual reader question. KC, you've been out of the game for a bit, but don't be afraid to use the latest technology. First, find someone you like, then write them an email in which you explain your feelings. And threaten that if they refuse your overture, you'll dig into their past and expose their legal, personal and financial failings to the world over the world wide internet. Love can be so much more exciting in the modern age. Ask Sadie. Spreading the word of hope and live in the modern world.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-31 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-31 Pub. Date: 2019-01-31
Image Number: 176040
Caption: Rudy, I want you to meet Herbert. I'm not dressed properly. You look fine. I wanted to put on something nice. You don't wear clothes. I'm naked? Herbert's neurotic. I need booze.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-01 Pub. Date: 2019-01-01
Image Number: 175663
Caption: Why are you dressed like a British lawyer? The term is barrister, but it doesn't surprise me you don't know that. In fact, it helps me make the case I'm here to prove today: That you're a meathead because you suffered concussions playing football. That's ridiculous. Hold on! Let your counsel represent you. I want to be fair. Counsel? Never mind. He seems to have no comment.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-29 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-29 Pub. Date: 2018-12-29
Image Number: 175596
Caption: You've got to get on board with celebrity endorsements. People love your voice. They trust it. Bite me. Okay, then we'll find someone else to dupe your pathetic audience, sell them stuff they don't need and make them feel deep regret. Hold on. You never mentioned the spiritual benefits. I didn't want to play this card. To think of the shame I could inflict.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-23 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-23 Pub. Date: 2018-12-23
Image Number: 175268
Caption: Are you ready for the greatest treat in the world? Please don't do this. You are about to see the cutest baby. He's adorable. Excellent. I love babies. Did I tell you? Don't speak. Looks like a 90-year-old member of the British Parliament. Speechless, I know. Want another peek? No, please! No, it's too incredible for me. Beauty is in the eye of the mother.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-15 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-15 Pub. Date: 2018-12-15
Image Number: 175402
Caption: I don't understand why you get so many chicks and I can't get the time of day. I'm a professional. I spend hours studying the craft, working on technique, and I never take rejection personally. Whenever a chick turns me down, I look at it simply as test marketing. And when they say yes? A chance to work on my breakup technique.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-14 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-14 Pub. Date: 2018-12-14
Image Number: 175401
Caption: Hey, baby, you're cute. I was wondering if I could not have your cellphone number. Huh? You don't want my number? I'd hate to become one of the many interruptions that makes your day more stressful. If I need you, I'll just softly call your name. If you're too busy or don't hear, don't worry about it. I don't know why, but I am desperately in love with you. It's your hair. It's got to be the hair.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-06 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-06 Pub. Date: 2018-12-06
Image Number: 175272
Caption: Peace process progress report. Here's what we've agreed upon so far … nothing. I don't agree! I will not capitulate to that nonsense. Listen: I'm saying you haven't agreed to anything yet. Sounds reasonable but I'm still opposed. At the risk of agreeing with someone who is always 100 percent wrong, I concur.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-02 Pub. Date: 2018-12-02
Image Number: 174994
Caption: The Fad Herald cometh!! He complete me. Hear ye: I've asked you all here today to make an announcement. Murmur. In recent months, I've strayed from my values. I've let down my wife, constituents, our shareholders, the public, my fans. What did you do? But I assure you that I'm going top make amends. No matter how much work or time it takes, I will restore your faith in me. What did you do? Nothing. Public apologies are IN! Still don't know what he did. Public candor remains out.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-01 Pub. Date: 2018-12-01
Image Number: 175165
Caption: I'm done with the internet. But you discovered you can use it for Scrabble and flaming people. Crushing losers in online Scrabble and making them cry is great. But it's so much less satisfying than doing so in person. Really? Don't you understand anything, you tech-addled, bad-breathed, girlfriendless iPhone jockey?! Don't you ever try to get me hooded on that crud again. This is war. Again.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-29 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175163
Caption: Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-18 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-18 Pub. Date: 2018-11-18
Image Number: 174746
Caption: Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my devices, on credit. Even the most devoted sometimes need help overcoming their demons.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-16 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-16 Pub. Date: 2018-11-16
Image Number: 174945
Caption: Don't you think you're taking this too seriously? That I might have a long lost twin sister? According to a random person emailing your radio show. That's not proof of anything. Oh yeah. And you believed that Obama could bring us health care reform. Who's the one living in a fantasy world? You've been saving that one up, haven't you? I wonder if my twin shared my voluptuous looks.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-15 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-15 Pub. Date: 2018-11-15
Image Number: 174944
Caption: I think that Sadie might be my long lost sister. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton, FL., who is the mirror image of Sadie. Do you think that God could have made two of them and one got separated at birth? - Caroline R. Actual reader letter. Don't be absurd. Even a divine entity could not have created two women as comely as I am, and ... And? I might have a twin sister! According to a random letter that sounds facetious. To be continued.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-13 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-13 Pub. Date: 2018-11-13
Image Number: 174942
Caption: You are really really old and you don't have a life. GET A LIFE!!!!!!! - Haley. Actual reader letter. You want to handle this one, pardner? Pretty straight-forward. If her life is pathetic then how pathetic is your life if you're writing to comment about it? Thank you, reader. You've brought us together. condescension.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-04 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-04 Pub. Date: 2018-11-04
Image Number: 174632
Caption: Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-26 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-26 Pub. Date: 2018-10-26
Image Number: 174637
Caption: … charge extra for people to wear shoes, create a tax on spilled drinks, double-charge for napkins. Boring, you're not a government entity, it's been done. I give up. I concede. I've got nothing. Maybe I don't belong as a businessman. Maybe I should just turn over the keys to the place to the customers ... They can make their own drinks and become experts and run their own coffee houses. Or I could charge them for making their own drinks and call this a training ground! Witness the return of a muse.
     
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