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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-10 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-10 Pub. Date: 2018-09-10
Image Number: 173988
Caption: I've been thinking about it. What are you talking abo0ut, old bat? Pipe down, woman. I think you're right. Of course I am. About what? House of Java .net Cybercafe. About spicing up our relationship. I've been thinking about your fantasy. You don't say. Hide the children!!! There's about to be some mature programming in this here get up. And we mean mature.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-09 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-09 Pub. Date: 2018-09-09
Image Number: 173794
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, what is the best way to apologize to my wife after I do something stupid? - Wayne, stumped in Utah* *(Actual reader letter.) Thanks for the dumb question, Wayne. There is only one obvious way to apologize after you do something stupid. Flowers. Attack! Tell your wife it's not you that is stupid, but the rules. Then blame your in-laws. Then accuse your wife of cheating with a local elected official. I don't understan ... Finally, make sure to videotape everything and send it to me. Address it to me care of: Sadie Cohen's Friday Night Home Entertainment Video Collection. who can I help next? Eat your heart out, Netflix. Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-08 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-08 Pub. Date: 2018-09-08
Image Number: 173922
Caption: Last question … Will you be getting rid of your iPhone? What? Given how fed up you are with the reception and the flawed software, will you be getting rid of the phone? I don't understand. You mean you can't hear the question? It makes no sense. You mean: Get rid of the phone? Are you nuts? Yes, for continuing to listen to you.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-20 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-20 Pub. Date: 2018-08-20
Image Number: 173683
Caption: Fireside Chat with: Recession Man! Isn't the recession technically over? Technically. But people are still hurting. It's tough out there. So if I can be of aid to a distressed gal … Just distressed gals? I don't understand the question. Tune in for a chat with: Recession Man!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-17 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-17 Pub. Date: 2018-08-17
Image Number: 173525
Caption: I was going to make you a rich woman, but you're done. Fine with me. I don't care what percentage I'll get. I won't let you play with my reputation. I won't let you trade in fake scandal. Perfect. What? We got your anger on videotape. Your redemption is complete. You're back on the air. Even my head is spinning.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-14 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-14 Pub. Date: 2018-08-14
Image Number: 173522
Caption: We've done it. Our fake video of you being nice to Rudy has ruined your reputation. You're a weirdo. Your ratings are booming. Listeners can't get enough. They wonder if you're a fraud, think you're more human, imagine they might be superior to you. Time for Part 2. I don't want to know. You fake your redemption and we start selling t-shirts. I want 25% and I won't give or receive any hugs.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-07 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-07 Pub. Date: 2018-08-07
Image Number: 173395
Caption: I'm being blackmailed! What? By whom? It wasn't me. Don't hit. Not by you, you loser. Someone powerful. Someone who knows about my dark past. What dark past? Years ago, I was videotaped in a compromising position that involved … I can't say it. I won't say it. Say it. Never. Never, ever. Maybe for a foot massage.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-02 Pub. Date: 2018-08-02
Image Number: 173260
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Were you ever young? If so, what was it like for you? -Grandma Pat. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Awful and typical. I experienced wild hormone swings, had crazy flings with key members of the Roosevelt administration, indirectly caused two world wars and, in a drunken rage, destroyed evidence of alien landings in Roswell. The usual stuff. Getting old is worse. I don't want to hear about it. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-10)
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-26 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-26 Pub. Date: 2018-07-26
Image Number: 173111
Caption: There's some guy in the café who knows everything about me from Facebook. And? And he's trying to sell me things based on my personal tastes. Awesome. You young people really don't care about your privacy! My what? PRIVACY?!?! Sounds familiar. Can you spell it?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-10 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-10 Pub. Date: 2018-07-10
Image Number: 172760
Caption: I wish Mort were here. I need help with this. You can't open an envelope. It's the national radio society's annual prize results. Someone nominated me as Most Obnoxious and Caustic Talk Show of the Year. Great honor. I need Mort's moral support if I don't win. Naturally.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-21 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-21 Pub. Date: 2018-06-21
Image Number: 172385
Caption: I can't decide whether to send my grandson these homemade brownies overnight certified or two-day ground. Move it, lady! I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean to be a pain. I just want to do right by my darling grandkids. Forgive me, I'm an old lady. There there. Take your time. I'm gonna set a personal record. Your grandkids hate you!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172241
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-10 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171805
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-05 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-05 Pub. Date: 2018-06-05
Image Number: 172096
Caption: Did you feel the earth shake last night, Rosencrantz? I did, Tyrone. But to be honest, I don't know if I really felt it or if I only now believe I felt it because your query planted the thought in my brain. Nonsense. You are you own person. You thoughts are your own. I could never substitute my will for your own. You're right. I stand corrected.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-02 Pub. Date: 2018-06-02
Image Number: 171962
Caption: I laugh at those who deem it insane when a man talks to himself, Rosencrantz … for we do not perceive reality. Instead, reality is transmitted through our sensory nodes, converted into electrical impulses, and transmitted across our synapses … whereupon our brains piece the impulses together and form an approximation of reality. Don't you see? Every person I've ever spoken with has been just a voice inside my head. Whatever, Tyrone. It's till creepy when you sing yourself to sleep.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-30 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171959
Caption: I've been playing around with deep fake technology. I took photos of everyone who ever bullied me … and I mapped them onto the little Sims in Simcity. Well, that's only the second most disturbing thing I've heard people doing with that tech. Every time they try to go home, I demolish their homes. Then they drive around in circles wondering what happened. HOJ. You don't think that's strange, do you? I don't judge.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-25 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-25 Pub. Date: 2018-05-25
Image Number: 171810
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-Bert … He's tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... Who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-22 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-22 Pub. Date: 2018-05-22
Image Number: 171807
Caption: Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with another man's wife, and he found out. We're all supposed to go to the same party next week. But now that he knows … should I still go? Of course. Never run away. But what if he confronts me in front of everyone? I'd be so embarrasses. Just keep repeating Randy's seven golden man-words" I don't know what you're talking about.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-17 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-17 Pub. Date: 2018-05-17
Image Number: 171510
Caption: Boss? Strange thing happened … I created a cryoptocurrency called Rudycoin. I had about $375 billion worth of Rudycoins as of last night. But early this morning, I got an email form you that had a link called click this. I clicked it. Suddenly, my $375 billion balance shrunk to $3.75. I don't know what you're talking about, minion. That's just a coincidence. Besides, maybe you've always had just $3.75. You've never been great with decimal points. I'm texting a lawyer.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-14 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-14 Pub. Date: 2018-05-14
Image Number: 171507
Caption: I'm filthy rich. Don't tell anyone. What? I've got 28 million so far. But I choose to live like a normal peon. 28 … million?? I can't believe what I'm hearing, little buddy. This changes … wait … 28 million what? Rudycoins. It's a cryptocurrency I created in the john last night.
     
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