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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-01 |
| Image Number: |
180584 |
| Caption: |
I saw that article you wrote about how California should do a public takeover of that PG&E utility company … just because they seem to keep starting massive wildfires. And to stop that they keep turning off power for millions of people. Yeah. The state's publicly-owned utilities like SMUD and Silicon Valley Power don't seem to get themselves into these predicaments. Maybe that's because they don't spend their money on lobbyists, fancy dinners, huge salaries, or dividend payments. Yeah, but Venezuela. Um ... What? That's the universally recognized trump card for any conversation. So declared by the International Association of Weaselly Arguments. I don't recognize their authority. Venezuela.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-16 |
| Image Number: |
180303 |
| Caption: |
How come you ain't fillin' your prescription at the pharmacy, bruh? My insurance is refusing to cover memory-loss meds. Don't worry, I got you. Whachoo need? I got Aricept, Exelon, Razadyne, Criscolon, Franaphran … Did you just make some of that up? Dilithiumanadyneaphran ...
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-15 |
| Image Number: |
180302 |
| Caption: |
Where you been, Big L? At the doctor's. I realized I'm forgetting a lot of my youth. I don't remember much at all between ages six and nineteen. The doctor said forgetting all that time could mean I'm developing Alzheimer's, or it could mean I'm repressing something horrible. Clyde ... Between which ages did we hang out the most? Why you ask? No reason.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-14 |
| Image Number: |
180301 |
| Caption: |
Remember when we were kids, you wanted to write a story about a white slave in an alternate-universe America run by black slave owners? I've been wanting to read that book ever since. You should really write it. How do you remember that? I don't even remember that. That's why I explained to you the importance of keeping a meticulous journal, on April 11th, 1982. I don't remember that.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-05 |
| Image Number: |
180233 |
| Caption: |
When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. He asked who bought it. I said A neighbor. He whimpered and blubbered But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it! … I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when you son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-28 |
| Image Number: |
180102 |
| Caption: |
I wish you'd stop bashing Hillary Clinton, Lemont. I didn't bash her. All I did was write an article saying it was irresponsible to accuse Tulsi Gabbard of being a stooge of Russia without better evidence. I didn't know you were a Tulsi supporter. You don't have to be a supporter to speak up when someone's treated unfairly. What species do you think you belong to? Homo Fairpiens.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-26 |
| Image Number: |
180025 |
| Caption: |
I don't understand what you were doing at the Trump press conference. I'm a journalist. It's my job to be there … even though he got rid of actual press conferences and just stands in front of a loud helicopter so he can pretend not to hear our questions. No, I meant I don't understand why you kept revving that motorcycle every time he answered. Two can play at that game, Susan. Dios mio.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-25 |
| Image Number: |
180024 |
| Caption: |
What's wrong, Lemont? I think Sasha Mitchell's playing games with my feelings. Not that I have any feelings for her. I have an incredible girlfriend. What do I care that Sasha came to town, said she'd love to see me, and then when I finally agreed to have lunch with her she stood me up for another guy and then told me how great her date was? I think playing games is an understatement. I'm no kid, Susan. I don't fall for games anymore. Besides, I was up all night pondering it, and I don't think there really is another guy.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-23 |
| Image Number: |
180022 |
| Caption: |
I recommend Roscoe's Rib Shack on 47th, Burgerville on G Street, or PudgeBurger on Market. Oh, how I would love to eat there with YOU, Lemont. I'm free today, Sasha. Want to meet there for lunch? Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I wish I could, Sunshine. I have some thing to do during the day. I am free tonight, though. You could come to my hotel room, like at around 2a.m. If you'd like to. I don't think PudgeBurger delivers at 2a.m. That's not ... Oh, never mind. Tap tap tap t-
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-22 |
| Image Number: |
180021 |
| Caption: |
Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont? You haven't responded in a while. I know it's my fault. I never wanted to hurt you, Sunshine. But that's exactly why I went away for so many years. I loved you so much that I didn't want you getting caught up in all my drama. My husband Webster blamed you for everything. He said you Put it in my head that he was abusive. I didn't want you getting caught up in all my drama. My horrible divorce ... my custody battle ... Webster putting out a contract on your life ... Are you there? I ... understand why you don't want to respond. Sorry. had to take a potty break. Where were we? Do not scroll up. Tap tap tap t -
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-19 |
| Image Number: |
179919 |
| Caption: |
A country this polarized is destined for civil war, don't you think? Spare change? Will work 4 food. Of course not! You're not just ignorant and reckless for saying that … you're evil! Something should be done about people like you.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-13 |
| Image Number: |
179803 |
| Caption: |
The other day, my little girl insisted that our dog was a horse. Dr. Noodle. So I took her to a ranch and showed her a real horse. She said This is a horsey? Then … our doggie is a doggie. That evening, we had dinner with my dad. He said The President has never lied. That shocked me. So I pulled up the Washington Post's list of over 12,000 lies the President's told. He dismissed it all as fake news, called reporters Enemies of the people, and said Jeff Bezos and everyone who buys from Amazon are of questionable citizenship. I still don't think it's wide of you to refuse to talk to anyone older than three from now on. Do you happen to know any toddlers with a psychiatric degree.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-10 |
| Image Number: |
179807 |
| Caption: |
Lately I've been thinking about quitting the agency and starting a Folklorico dance group. Say what? Remember how much I loved being in Ensables Ballet Folklorico back in college? Yeah. I was really good at it, too. And I don't think I've ever felt as happy as I did on stage. Maybe this is just your midlife crisis talking. Mumblety - three is NOT midlife anymore!!! If you say so.
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-07 |
| Image Number: |
179804 |
| Caption: |
I read your article about how the POTUS was caught extorting Ukraine to dig up dirt on his political rival. He did not! And he did, but so what? It's not a crime! And it's a crime, but so what? And everyone does it! And no they don't, but so what? Historically speaking, when half a country gets trained to say But so what? to everything ... That never ends well. Yeah ... but so what?
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-03 |
| Image Number: |
179728 |
| Caption: |
What are you doing, little buddy? Practicing my hateface. It's a mixture of disgust, snarkiness, and confusion. When I wear it, it protects me from liking something that the internet has chosen to hate. DC's got a new movie coming out: Joker. I don't want to be caught unprepared, like I was with Batman v Superman. You loved that film. Yes, but I repented.
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-28 |
| Image Number: |
179622 |
| Caption: |
I don't want to be that guy, but … But what? Well … you notice anything about all the old tv shows they're bringing back? The Fugitive, Battlestar Gallactica, Punky Brewster, 90210 … How come nobody's talking about bringing back 227 … A Different World ... Living Single ... Family Matters ... Moesha ... Stop trying to change the subject and admit you lost that argument we had two weeks ago. Never mind. I have no problem being that guy.
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-25 |
| Image Number: |
179619 |
| Caption: |
Clyde, how would you feel about composing music for commercials? What? Well, our in-house composer just perished in a freak Beluga whale accident, so … we're hiring. Who we is? You've known me since we were six … you don't … you don't even care what I do for a living, do you? Since when do not havin' no interest in somethin' mean a person don't care?
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-24 |
| Image Number: |
179618 |
| Caption: |
I'd like to discuss a collaboration, Lemont. I'm all ears, Perry. Perry? Don't you meant Mr. White? When you worked here, you called me Mr. White. Your blog may be the internet's 47th largest source for news and opinion, but don't let that go to your head ... Brown. The chronicle fell to number 48, I take it. The chronicle would like to parachute you into the inferno engulfing the Amazon ... to report on it, I mean.
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-21 |
| Image Number: |
179503 |
| Caption: |
You don't need a woman, Big L. You smart. You work hard. You honest. You a good man. You can raise your son on your own. That's not why I'm desperately looking for a woman! Maybe not honest.
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-16 |
| Image Number: |
179498 |
| Caption: |
Dick Fink, if Lemont Brown calls, can you put it through? Afraid not, ma'am. I don't work on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is a day of rest. Even the Lord doesn't work on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is Saturday. Today is Monday. I don't consult calendars on the Sabbath.
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