| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-27 |
| Image Number: |
181890 |
| Caption: |
How come you haven't joined my Latina Advertising Executives Who Collect Milk Bottles Facebook page yet, Lemont? I invited you a year ago. Susan … isn't the answer obvious? Don't let your lactose intolerance stop you from being a real friend. It's not that.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-27) |
Image #181890 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-18 |
| Image Number: |
181800 |
| Caption: |
Dick Fink did what? I had a meting in Brazil. But I noticed the ticket he booked me was to Wuhan, China. Wuhan? Why's that sound familiar? It's where the Coronavirus is. I still don't think that's proof he's trying to take your job. I checked his browser history. He'd googled Can I expense a funeral tux? Still not proof.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-18) |
Image #181800 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-17 |
| Image Number: |
181799 |
| Caption: |
Scientists discovered a fast radio burst from a half billion light years away, and it repeats every 16 days. It might be caused by some pulsar-type star … Aliens … or maybe a collision between two stars … Aliens … or maybe it's a very fast-spinning star ... Aliens. You want it to be aliens, don't you. No, no ... I totally am just as fascinated by the boring explanations.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-17) |
Image #181799 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-15 |
| Image Number: |
181710 |
| Caption: |
You're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I met a lady a while back. We're both stuck in marriages we don't want to be in. We'd rather be together but we don't have the courage to end things. What do you mean courage? Ending things isn't courageous, it's cowardly. Courage means not running from misery, but embracing it, becoming its master, and delivering it upon all those around you with a vengeance.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-15) |
Image #181710 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-14 |
| Image Number: |
181709 |
| Caption: |
… So then I told him You've begged me to untie you no less than fifteen times already. I'm sick of it. Pardon me, couldn't help but overhear. It's actually fewer, not less. Fewer is for things you count. Less is for things you don't count. How'd you like to have fewer days ahead of you? Yes, yes. Much better.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-14) |
Image #181709 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-13 |
| Image Number: |
181708 |
| Caption: |
Ford's telling me my new brakes and rotors are gonna cost me $1300. Whoa! That's way too much. They're robbing you blind! I know a guy who's not a thief. I don't know, Lemont. Of all the things you do in a car … stopping is maybe the most important. I'm not sure I'd trust my brakes to a guy. Big Shady says he has an opening next week.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-13) |
Image #181708 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-12 |
| Image Number: |
181707 |
| Caption: |
That Iowa thing was crazy, right? Yeah. Campaigns and reporters spent a whole year there, and then the party botched the caucuses! … which is pretty strange anyway, if you ask me. Caucuses. Do you want to caucus with me? No thanks, I don't like to caucus. Let's all go caucus together. I thought you were talking about the incompetence. It's one of our least appealing words.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-12) |
Image #181707 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-11 |
| Image Number: |
181706 |
| Caption: |
I don't see anything wrong with Mayor Mike Bloomberg buying his way into the election. I mean, who's to say sending out millions of volunteers to knock on doors is morally superior to sending out hundreds of millions of dollars to buy advertisements? Wait ... Did you tell me a few months ago that you signed on to do an ad campaign for a new client who used to be a mayor? Don't change the subject. Dios mio.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-11) |
Image #181706 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-09 |
| Image Number: |
181586 |
| Caption: |
I blame my cousin. Dr. Noodle. My mom never let me have the latest anything. When I was little, she didn't buy me a Rubik's Cube, she gave me an old brick. She said it was a family tradition, a toy passed down for generations. She made me wear hand-me-down clothes, first worn by my great-grandmother in the 1890s. I was the only kid in class wearing a bustle. My mom is why I can't stand old things. Everything I have, everything I do has to be brand new. I don't understand. Why, then, do you blame your cousin? Blaming the mom has been done since forever.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-09) |
Image #181586 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-04 |
| Image Number: |
181588 |
| Caption: |
Let's say, just hypothetically, a man had a long-distance girlfriend he hasn't seen in over a year … because she's secluded herself in a remote cabin in the Himalayas to write her next novel. If the man were to hypothetically fly to Nepal, hire a sherpa, trek up the mountain and surprise her for Valentine's Day ... Would that seem sweet? ... Of stalkerish? This @#$% right here be why I don't do relationships.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-04) |
Image #181588 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-29 |
| Image Number: |
181482 |
| Caption: |
Hey Clyde, do you have any idea what happened to my Korean BBQ? Why you ask? You sure? It was there in the fridge. Then you came over. Then it was gone. You callin' me a liar? No, of course not. I'm glad you didn't eat it. It was a month old. C-Dog don't lie guk ... gah ... 'bout nothin'. That's a double negative.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-29) |
Image #181482 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-21 |
| Image Number: |
181365 |
| Caption: |
… then he cried What happens now? So I opened the trunk, leaned over him, and said The ball's in your court. Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing. The ball's in your court makes no sense. People don't play on separate courts. They play on the same court. How would you like to go for a ride? On a ride would be more accurate.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-21) |
Image #181365 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-19 |
| Image Number: |
181257 |
| Caption: |
My 3-year-old asked me how many dimensions we live in. Can you believe that, Clyde? Believe what? What I just said. You wasn't listening neither? Of course I was. I don't know, bruh. If I been listening to somethin', I don't need to ask people 'bout it later. No, What I just said was an answer. I don't know. What did you just say was an answer? That's ... sigh ... Let me start over. My little boy asked if we live in three dimensions. I said We live in three special dimensions, but there's a fourth dimension we live in called time. The fourth dimension called time what? They don't get along? At what point in the fourth dimension did you decide to just mess with me?
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-19) |
Image #181257 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-16 |
| Image Number: |
181261 |
| Caption: |
I'm going to go to Iran, Clyde. What for, bruh? Weren't you listening? I've been invited to give a speech about the dangers journalists face. Do you have any idea how many journalists I know who've lost their lives in the line of duty? How could I say no? I feel you. Don't worry, somethin' happens to you, I'll raise your little boy to be a good accompli -- a good man. I'm not going to Iran, Clyde.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-16) |
Image #181261 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-15 |
| Image Number: |
181260 |
| Caption: |
I don't know what to do, Clyde. I just got an invitation to go give a speech at a journalism conference in Iran … Right after I published a series of opinion pieces condemning pretty much every side that brought us to the brink of war over there. On the one hand, it's dangerous for journalists these days, and I've never heard of the group that invited me. It's called Truth, Responsibility and Principle. T.R.A.P.? On the other hand, they say there's a free continental breakfast.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-15) |
Image #181260 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-08 |
| Image Number: |
181114 |
| Caption: |
What's wrong, Lemont? I just learned that our galaxy has not arms. Scientists discovered the Milky Way's spiral arms are not physical structures after all. They're magnetic density fields. Stars and matter don't live in any particular arm. Instead they move into and out of these dense fields all the time. Were you going to say this is like being homeless? Because that would be very insensitive. I was ... not. I was not.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-08) |
Image #181114 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-05 |
| Image Number: |
181021 |
| Caption: |
I'm stocking up on c canned foods, survival gear and oxygen tanks. Why? Elon Musk. What? He's a billionaire with government connections. Um … ok … and? Don't you see, Susan? He's in a position to know stuff we don't know. He just built an electric truck that's bulletproof, can go off-road, and with the optional solar panels, could keep running even in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Proves nothing. What about the giant space arks he's building? Maybe he's just bored.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-05) |
Image #181021 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-04 |
| Image Number: |
181020 |
| Caption: |
I'm convinces that critics don't know anything and people are petty. What? Why? Most critics hated The Rise of Skywalker. And dozens of Youtubers were bashing it. But it was amazing! So I spent all night checking these people's past comments, and found that most of them loved The Last Jedi. Which means they're probably just butthurt that the new movie reversed a lot of the stuff the last movie did wrong.. That certainly wasn't petty of you. Tonight I'm going to post comments under all of them exposing their bias.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-04) |
Image #181020 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-27 |
| Image Number: |
180958 |
| Caption: |
Haven't you ever heard that Luck is just preparation meeting opportunity? Of course. Consider this: Soaring stock market … trade wars using tariffs … environmental collapse … high personal debt … deregulation … Democracies falling into tyranny … Don't you see, Rosencrantz? We are once again in the Roaring Twenties. Conditions are ripe for another Great Depression. Tyrone, I still don't think you can declare yourself King of the Dispossessed. I have been preparing for this moment for decades.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-27) |
Image #180958 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-22 |
| Image Number: |
180854 |
| Caption: |
Big L, you seen a doctor yet 'bout that heart attack you had? I didn't have a heart attack, Clyde. All I had was pain in my arm, between my shoulder blades, in my hest, jaw and upper abdomen. Plus I was dizzy, fatigued and had heartburn. That could've been anything, and anyway, I took care of it myself. I started biking, gave up red meat, etc ... just incase. Anyway, I don't have health insurance. I earn too much for Medicaid ad too little to pay the Obamacare premiums. I got a solution for you, bruh ... Ok ... as long as it doesn't involve identity theft, fake IDs and possible jail time. Hm ... well, then I got a different solution for you ... As long as it doesn't involve sneaking into another country. Well ... then I got a different solution ...
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-22) |
Image #180854 |
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