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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about dogs.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-23 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-23 Pub. Date: 2019-08-23
Image Number: 179097
Caption: Seems like we may be headed for a recession. Is now a good time to get out of the stock market? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Nah, bruh, now the time to put half your money in McDonald's an' KFC an' let it ride. In hard times, people be double-fisting that comfort food, Big L. Recessions don't last forever, though. That's why you put the other half into 48-Hour Fitness.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-10 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-10 Pub. Date: 2019-07-10
Image Number: 178422
Caption: Tyrone, have you ever seen a UFO? I believe I just witnessed one ascending into the heavens. That was no UFO. It was a gigantic ball of fire and hot dogs exploding from a barbecue pit on the fire escape of that building across the way. Most astounding sightings have mundane explanations, Rosencrantz. I challenge your understanding of the word mundane. Ironically, mundane is an interesting word. Spare change?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-07 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-07 Pub. Date: 2019-07-07
Image Number: 178419
Caption: Do you think there's life after death, Clyde? 'Course there is, Big L. You know how much death there been? What do you mean? It's been calculated that in all the time people been here, 100.8 billion of them have died. But C-Dog still here, bruh. This isn't all about you, Clyde. Ask Socrates if this all about me ... Oh, you can't.'Cause he dead. An' I ain't. Good talk, Clyde.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-18 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-18 Pub. Date: 2019-06-18
Image Number: 178161
Caption: Someone posted a video of themselves all dressed in camo … wearing night vision goggles and hunting hogs, dogs and other wild animals. It made me wonder: Do you think hippos and tapeworms brag to each other every time they take one of us out? I wonder what they'd upload to youtube ... if they had fingers and thumbs.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-03 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-03 Pub. Date: 2019-06-03
Image Number: 177936
Caption: I need to supplement my income. Would driving for Uber be a good idea? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. 'Fore I begin, bruh, full disclosure … I own a lot of Uber stock. But that in no way affect what I say about it. When I give advice, I couldn't care less whether it make me money or cost me money. I'm offended you'd even entertain the notion. I hard some Uber drivers actually lose money. Fake news.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-27 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-27 Pub. Date: 2019-04-27
Image Number: 177328
Caption: C-Dog, I'm worried the stock market will crash. Should I old or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for Big Oatmeal, he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-07 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-07 Pub. Date: 2019-01-07
Image Number: 175736
Caption: What's the best way to ask my boss for a promotion? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. You say you got other options, so she better hook you up right quick or you out the door. That's the same advice you gave me about asking women out. Here's the secret 'bout life: Every relationship be the same relationship.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-06 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-06 Pub. Date: 2018-11-06
Image Number: 174821
Caption: Neither party does anything for me. Why should I vote? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. The answer simple, bruh: You shouldn't. Your vote is your voice. 'Least it the only voice a politician listen to. Best way to get a politician to listen to you is to now say anything.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-08 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-08 Pub. Date: 2018-10-08
Image Number: 174387
Caption: You know they're working on robots you can have nookie with? Aiight, bruh, that's it. C-Dog puttin' a stop to this train wreck right here. I don't put up with your Star Track, an' your Babylon 9, an' your Yoda voicemail greeting, but this spit just got outta control. I'ma go get Pookie an' Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys, an' we gonna have you an intervention. I didn't say I was going to buy one, or anything. Go home an' say goodbye to your Doctor Who toothbrush, bruh.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-04 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-04 Pub. Date: 2018-09-04
Image Number: 173880
Caption: You might wanna get your hair checked, bruh. Your ask-frequency down 20% per year. That's a bad sight, Big L. My what? This year you asked me C-Dog, did you take my clippers? 5 times. By this time last year, you done asked 25 times. Guess how many times you asked the year before? Give. Me. Back. My. Clippers. Yo' hair growth be on a perfect negative-sloped linear Bezier curve, bruh. That @#$% serious.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-31 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-31 Pub. Date: 2018-08-31
Image Number: 173792
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey? Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and a 1/2 minutes before falling asleep.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-28 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-28 Pub. Date: 2018-02-28
Image Number: 168929
Caption: I'm thinking of flying to Ukraine to cover a story about how evil, racist, neo Nazi paramilitaries are overrunning the country. C-Dog's Incredibly bad Advice $2. But since they're evil, racist and violent, it might be a little bit dangerous for me. Bruh ... we got neo Nazis right here. Just write 'bout them an' change the names. That'd be cheating. That'd be cheating. Just change Brad to Dmitry, an' change Miami to Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyl.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-27 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-27 Pub. Date: 2018-02-27
Image Number: 168928
Caption: I checked my news site's stats, and 98% of my readers these days are form the United States and Canada. It's almost as if the entire rest of the world has decided to stop reading news about the United States. What do you think I could do to get international readers to come back to my site? I mean, short of getting the western world to see us as their leader again. Have you tried showing some leg? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-18 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167358
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason. (Originally published on 2015-12-31)
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-17 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-17 Pub. Date: 2018-01-17
Image Number: 167357
Caption: I'm not in love with my girlfriend anymore. How do I fix that? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice 50¢. Here what you do, bruh: Pretend she ain't your girlfriend. Pretend she the hot single women you first noticed. You mean try to look at her with fresh eyes again? I meant go see other women ... but that could work too. (Originally published on 2015-12-30)
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-02 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-02 Pub. Date: 2017-12-02
Image Number: 165422
Caption: There's a lot of bad news. It's making me a little depressed. C-Dogs Incredibly Bad Advice $2. That one easy, bruh. Ere'time you hear news you don't like, call it "fake." They say someone you like did wrong? Must be fake. They say your car cause pollution? Must be fake. They say you got cancer. Fake fake fake. The ancient Buddhists say reality all in our heads, or some spit like that there. I'll give it a try.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-17 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-17 Pub. Date: 2017-10-17
Image Number: 163903
Caption: If all them hundreds of mass shootings was bein' done by black men, we'd be confiscating guns tomorrow. When white people arm theyselves so they can defend against the government, people call 'em "patriots." When black people do it, like the Black Panthers did, the same people call them "terrorists." This country ain't color-blind dog, it's color-blinded. You're much less depressing when you just talk about french fries.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-02 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-02 Pub. Date: 2017-10-02
Image Number: 163370
Caption: Thank god the GOP has given up trying to take health care away from millions of people. No they haven't. Trying-to-repeal-Obamacare has become a tradition, like celebrating-holidays-by-not-thinking-about-why-we-have-a-day-off-and-just-barbecuing has become a tradition. I've stocked up on hot dog buns and beer for the next repeal day. You-not-letting-me-enjoy-the-moment has become a tradition.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-23 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-23 Pub. Date: 2017-08-23
Image Number: 161802
Caption: C-Dog ain't worried 'bout no white supremacists. Why not, Clyde? 'Cause they want a race war. An' the way things going, they just might get it. But you know what? The vast majority of white people won't be on the side. Hm. You've got a point. To win with such small numbers, supremacists would have to take over key positions in government, the courts, an' all the police departments first. That'd never happen. I hate sarcasm.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-11 dog 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-11 Pub. Date: 2017-08-11
Image Number: 161295
Caption: What we gotta go anywhere else for? Y'all can have your Norways an' Canadas an' Denmarks … if you need to be "happy" an' "educated" an' "health-cared" an' not shot or locked up in a private prison. All y'all soft bruthas can move if you want to, but C-Dog ain't 'fraid of hard-livin'. I'm not running away, Clyde, I just want us to measure up to every other civilized country. You want a unicorn with that, or just a pony?
     
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