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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-25 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-25 Pub. Date: 2017-10-25
Image Number: 164149
Caption: Studies show that teachers are more likely to harshly punish black students than they are white ones who do the same things. Even black teachers do it. How am I supposed to feel comfortable sending my baby boy out into the world when I know this sort of stuff happens? They done called me a "troublemaker" from day one. Didn't do me no harm. Maybe I'll home-school him till he's got his Ph.D. It was educational. I bee in the principal office so much that I learned exactly where he keep his spare house keys.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-17 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-17 Pub. Date: 2016-09-17
Image Number: 148484
Caption: 1982. You know how people always say "If aliens existed, why haven't they made contact?" Well … what if they have? What if we aren't the ones they're coming to visit? There are at least six species on earth that have a degree of intelligence. Nobody ever stops to think that the aliens may already have a mutual defense treaty with the octopuses. If you don't want to have sushi, just say "I don't want to have sushi." If the apocalypse happens, I just don't want anyone pointing fingers at me.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-31 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145874
Caption: Hello, Mr. Dogg. My hingoa is "Richie." I am calling from illustrious Tonga Tech Alumni Association. You achieved your degree at our online university. Got my doctorate, fool. Get it right. We would like for to extend to you the invitation to now pursue your double doctorate. For a low low price of only $150 U.S. dollars per day you can take your Tonga Tech educationals to the ultimate level in only six weeks. Whatchyall got in your extra-doctorate program, bruh? C-Dog time is valuable. I ain't got six weeks for you, not unless your curriculum is bangin'. We've got very many programs of some sort that will allow you to call yourself "Double Doctor." ... such as a doctorate in real estate management, taught by cardboard cutout of Donald Trump. Lemme think about it. "Double Doctor Dogg" got a ring to it.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-17 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-17 Pub. Date: 2016-07-17
Image Number: 145280
Caption: Have you ever fallen madly in love with someone, Clyde? No such thing as that, bruh. What do you mean? Ain't no "falling." Love is a choice. You control it, Big L, the way you control a pit bull, or the IRS … or the weather. What you phone say the weather be right now, Big L? 106 degrees. The weather be what you want it to be, bruh. What kinda punk-!@$* let a phone tell him how to dress? Good talk, Clyde.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-17 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-17 Pub. Date: 2015-11-17
Image Number: 135314
Caption: I know what you 'bout to say, bruh, an' I ain't wanna hear none of that. How could you possibly know what I'm about to say, Clyde? I known you since we was 6 months old, Big L. We done had every conversation we could possibly have. You gonna talk about science fiction. I could tell by the way you almost bouncin' on your toes, all giddy. I always know what you gonna say by the degree of geekiness in your stance. Old friends are the worst. It's a disgusting display, bruh.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-27 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-27 Pub. Date: 2015-07-27
Image Number: 130314
Caption: I'm tired of the media misquoting Donald Trump by playing video of the crazy stuff he says. What? How can they possibly misquote him by showing him talking? It's like how the camera adds ten pounds. It also adds ten degrees of crazy. The sneakiest way to misquote someone is to show them misquoting themselves.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-12 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-12 Pub. Date: 2014-09-12
Image Number: 116187
Caption: 1982. You know how people always say "if aliens existed, why haven't they made contact?" Well, what if they have? What if WE aren't the ones they're coming to visit? There are at least six species on Earth that have a degree of intelligence. Nobody ever stops to think that the aliens may already have a mutual defense treaty with the octopuses. If you don't want to have sushi, just say "I don't want to have sushi." If the apocalypse happens, I just don't want anyone pointing fingers at me.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-03 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-03 Pub. Date: 2013-08-03
Image Number: 99765
Caption: It's August, Clyde. It's like 110 degrees. Why are you wearing that huge coat? C-Dog don’t let nobody tell him what to do, not even the weather. There are better ways to assert your individuality, Clyde. I know that, fool. That's why I'm ridin' my bike against traffic at noon, and crossin' just outside the crosswalk at 12:15.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-01 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-01 Pub. Date: 2012-02-01
Image Number: 75826
Caption: What do you mean you have nothing for me? You majored in liberal arts … Jobville Employment Agency. … Which doesn't qualify you for the jobs that are still out there. You should've thought ahead, like I did. Identified growth industries and majored in one of them. What did you major in? Unemployment counseling. With a minor in post-apocalyptic foraging.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-05 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-05 Pub. Date: 2010-11-05
Image Number: 53694
Caption: The Law Guy. Let's make a list of pros and cons. Ok, con … My custody battle is in a week, and your uncle, my lawyer, is nowhere to be found. Mm - hm … Mm - hmm … Ok … Pro: my other uncle, Boozer, has agreed to take over your case, for only a slight additional fee. Has he even passed the bar? Uh huh, usually on his lunch break. What? What?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-30 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-30 Pub. Date: 2010-04-30
Image Number: 46757
Caption: I said "So I think I'll go to my online-college reunion." Further back. "Maybe they'll switch my doctorate for a Master's Degree." Further back. "I'm tired of people callin' me 'Doctor Dogg.'" Further back. "I think I'd like to be called 'Master Dogg.'" Next time I say "back up," just smack me.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-28 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-28 Pub. Date: 2010-04-28
Image Number: 46755
Caption: My ten-year college reunion comin' up next week, Big L. But you only went to a two-week online doctorate program. Just a YEAR ago. It was an accelerated program.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-27 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-27 Pub. Date: 2010-04-27
Image Number: 46754
Caption: There's some weird stuff on my Feudalbanc Massacard bill, Clyde. Nah … really? "Tonga Island Online University Bamboo Degree Frame: $250 … Official Tonga Tech Grass hula skirt: $99 … Genuine Tonga Tech coconut class ring: $2500 …" Yeh … That IS weird. Didn't YOU go to Tonga, Clyde? Huh. Yeh, I think maybe I did. Why do you as.. GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARD!
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-20 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-20 Pub. Date: 2010-03-20
Image Number: 45149
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I went back to school and I'm busy getting whatever certificate or degree you think I should be getting instead of wasting my life chasing my dream. Please leave a message at the beep, and I'll call you back to let you know when and where I'll be graduating. BEEP.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-10 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-10 Pub. Date: 2010-02-10
Image Number: 43925
Caption: I have my doubts that you're truly recovering, Lemont. I told you … … I accept that the vampires and demons I've seen all year were all in my head. Nevertheless, I want to try a novel approach. Hypnotism? Shock therapy? Post your delusions to an anonymous twitter account and then watch as all your followers tell you you're insane. Can I see your degree again? Hear me out ...
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-22 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-22 Pub. Date: 2009-05-22
Image Number: 33644
Caption: Clyde got a degree in biochemical analysis? I don't want to talk about it. Isn't that where scientists help athletes come up with the most efficient golf swing, batting stance, and so on? …So if you angle your elbow to 160 degrees, you'll boost your maximum loitering time by 28.2%. ...I said I don't want to talk about it.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-21 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-21 Pub. Date: 2009-05-21
Image Number: 33643
Caption: You got a doctorate. At Tonga Island Online College. Ah, college. Those were the days. Best two weeks of my life. Where did the time go? Whatever. What'd you major in, loafing? Biochemical analysis. Whoa. I think I'm actually impressed. With a minor in the loafing arts.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-22 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-22 Pub. Date: 2009-04-22
Image Number: 31769
Caption: Anyway, I should go, Susan. I'm talking with a lawyer. I'm suing Roxanne for custody of Lionel. Yeah, really … The lawyer? An ad on Gregs-List.org. …Well he looks legit enough. He's got degrees, a leather chair, glasses… …And it doesn't seem to faze him when people talk about him like he's not even there. That's a sign of character. Y'know, you say "dios mio" A LOT. Zzzzz.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-30 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-30 Pub. Date: 2008-07-30
Image Number: 25419
Caption: Here. Here are the stupid files you're fetching for daddy. Although if you had an ounce of self-respect, you'd go back to school, get your MBA, and be daddy's partner, not his gopher. Before I respond, let me ask you one thing… …Are you aware you're unemployed? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-04-06 degree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-04-06 Pub. Date: 2008-04-06
Image Number: 22783
Caption: Buenos dias. 'Morning. Hace calor. Yeah. Must be 90 degrees out today. Digame: en STAR TREK CUATRO, ?por que giraron alrededor del sol para viajar a traves del tiempo, mientras que en la serie original, obtuvieron el mismo resultado cuando volaron directamente hacia el sol? Well, the STAR TREK IV writers had 20 years to realize you can't fly straight at the sun at top speed and then veer away. Time travel just doesn't work that way. Muy bien, gracias. You're welcome. Ques, ?Que te pasa a ti? What? What's wrong with you?
     
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