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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (73 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-17 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-17 Pub. Date: 2019-08-17
Image Number: 178999
Caption: Garcia, if you need birth-control pills for some medical reason, just tell us and maybe we'll change our minds about including it in your health insurance plan. Seriously? Of course. Tell us exactly what's going on with your lady parts, and then we'll make our decision. Pharmacy. Do you take Massacard?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-08 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-08 Pub. Date: 2019-02-08
Image Number: 176174
Caption: boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making rule, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as? I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-18 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-18 Pub. Date: 2018-12-18
Image Number: 175480
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an other choice. I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it. (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-26)
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-07 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-07 Pub. Date: 2018-07-07
Image Number: 172692
Caption: 1982. Momma says she wants me to be the next Thurgood Marshall. So I asked who that is, and she said he desegregated the schools. And I asked what "desegregated" means, and she said "I'll tell you when you're older." It was at that point that I realized Momma was probably just making up words. What's a "Thurgood"? No, that one makes sense. What has a Thursday ever been bad?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-10 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-10 Pub. Date: 2018-04-10
Image Number: 170410
Caption: You know why I don't own a gun, Susan? I have a kid. And kids die from accidental gunshots about once every other day. I could live with it if someone else hurt my Lionel. But I could never live with it if I'm the one who hurt him. But I've got buckets of self-defense rocks beneath all our furniture. Dio mio. When I caught Lionel juggling them, I knew I'd made the right decision.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-25 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168231
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-28 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163100
Caption: … So anyway, I had to fire an art director, a copywriter, a designer, a production artist and our web designer because of that donkey incident. That's too bad. But you did the right thing … you made the tough decision … "Always do what's best for the donkey," that's my motto. You know, I can tell when you haven't really been listening. What? I was totally listening! Then tell me what happened with the donkey. It's too atrocious for words. Nice try.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-26 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150196
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an "other choice." I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-14 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-14 Pub. Date: 2016-04-14
Image Number: 141799
Caption: I've been thinking about how you said women don’t need to earn what men do 'cause we pay their way half the time. Maybe it's true, but whose fault is that? Most of the time, they don't ask us to pay. That's our decision, because we're trying to impress them. Who's this "we"? I ain't never tried to impress nobody. Don't change the subject. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-17).
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-31 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-31 Pub. Date: 2015-10-31
Image Number: 134387
Caption: Last night I took a date to see "Star Trek: The Musical" at the Greek Theater. She didn't like it at all. Not even the climax, were Kirk and Odo tap danced around Klingon Chancellor Martok. I called her a cab. I just won't be with someone who can't appreciate the finer things. Did you decide to call her a cab, or did she ask you to call her a cab? That's beside the point.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-11 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129286
Caption: I can't believe your son's almost three, and I've still never met him. When I won custody, my ex agreed not to appeal the decision as long as Lionel's never in your presence. Roxanne doesn't want Lionel to know there are women out there who're much nicer than she it. Yeah, well it's awful that she singled me out. She didn't. Legally, I'm only allowed to date ladies I meet on stuckupharpy.com.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-24 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-24 Pub. Date: 2014-12-24
Image Number: 120257
Caption: I've decided to show Lionel "The Cosby Show," no matter what's going on. You know why? Because Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. And he thought blacks were inferior in every way. And yet, that is the dude who wrote "all men are created equal." If that guy's face can be on my nickel, Cliff Huxtable can be on my tv.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-15 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-15 Pub. Date: 2014-06-15
Image Number: 111795
Caption: I'm still having trouble making decisions, doc. Dr. Noodle. "Doctor." "Sir." SEE? What does that say about me? Well, it says. Never mind, I don’t think I really want to hear it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-17 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-17 Pub. Date: 2014-04-17
Image Number: 110109
Caption: I've been thinking about how you said women don’t need to earn what men do 'cause we pay their way half the time. Maybe it's true, but whose fault is that? Most of the time, they don't ASK us to pay. That's OUR decision, because we're trying to impress them. Who's this "we"? I ain't never tried to impress nobody. Don't change the subject.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-30 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-30 Pub. Date: 2013-10-30
Image Number: 103219
Caption: Well, you're not getting any younger, Lemont. You have to start thinking about … y'know … What? About whether I'll always look as sexy in my Captain Kirk convention costume? No. About your retirement. What retirement? I'll be going to those conventions forever. I've already reserved a Star Trek 2 Genesis coffin, so I can be wheeled into the show in perpetuity. Dios mio. (Cartoon originally published 2011-04-20 and 2013-03-13).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-17 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-17 Pub. Date: 2013-10-17
Image Number: 102721
Caption: Son, I'm gonna take you to speech therapy. It'll be fun. I vote no. Lionel, a family is not a democracy. It's more like a medieval feudal system, with your dad at the top of the pyramid, making decisions for the child, who's right below. Below YOU in the pyramid are your bubble-gum and your toys. You get to make the decisions for them. Maybe you'we the one who needth thpeech thewapy. I nevew know what you'we thaying.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-07 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-07 Pub. Date: 2013-10-07
Image Number: 102496
Caption: Think about it. We may soon have a "President Clinton" in the White House. The Batman franchise is making questionable casting decisions. There's a government shutdown. Last night, I watched the Arsenio Hall show. ARSENIO. Need I go on? I'm sorry, I still don't believe we all went back in time to the nineties. Ok, but if I see Sinbad on my TV I'm gonna freak the heck out.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-04 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-04 Pub. Date: 2013-07-04
Image Number: 98735
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I wish the Supreme Court would make up it's mind. Over the course of 24 hours, there were a few 5-4 decisions. One made it harder for minorities to vote … … But others made it possible for gay couples in California to marry, and for gay married couples to receive federal benefits. Now I don't know whether they're ENLIGHTENED by a margin of 5-4, or BUTTHEADED by a margin of 5-4.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-03 decision 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-03 Pub. Date: 2013-07-03
Image Number: 98734
Caption: I'm glad the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act. Wheeze wheeze. Stealing Democracy. Since the Voting Rights Act passed in 1965, things have gotten so much better. Wheeze. Nobody stops blacks from voting, and when they try the courts stop them. Wheeze wheeze. We don't need it any more than I need that inhaler that completely cured my asthma. Wheeze.
     
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