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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about courts and courting.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-25 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174819
Caption: This is the Hallmark Channel. Tonight on the Andy Griffith Show, little Opie Taylor gets … recruited into the Nazi party, only here on the History Channel. But first, Ancient Aliens … were easily confirmed for lifetime appointments to the federal courts. Fox News reports that most senators ... were totally rubber stamps! ... You've been watching Top Ten Favorite Office Supplies. If you like our content, do all the Youtube things: Like, share, and ... set fire to the Reichstag, giving Hitler an excuse to demand almost-unlimited emergency powers. Despite the evidence, he blamed it on a devious liberal conspiracy to subvert ... Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Skipper, too.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-27 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-27 Pub. Date: 2018-10-27
Image Number: 174605
Caption: What'd you mean when you called it the Republican Supreme Court? They're not all Republicans. Ever since the Republicans voted as a bloc in 2000 to end the recount and make Bush president … and with all the 5 to 4 votes … it's become increasingly clear that the court is a political body, just like Congress. There's no point in pretending it's still some unbiased arbiter of justice. Nothing's legitimate anymore. This is just like the last days of Rome.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-22 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-22 Pub. Date: 2018-10-22
Image Number: 174600
Caption: They're purging voters in how many states? Way more than you'd think. As soon as the Republican Supreme Court ok'd it … every state with a history of discrimination at the polls started purging voters way more than usual. Those states purged millions of voters just before the 2016 election. It disproportionately impacted minorities. But I'm sure that part was just coincidence. I hate sarcasm Mondays.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-06 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-06 Pub. Date: 2018-10-06
Image Number: 174293
Caption: So … you took it pretty hard when Judge Boosie Groperman got confirmed for the state Supreme Court. No I didn't. It's just … his supporters kept saying a man shouldn't be held responsible for what he did when he was seventeen. They got their way. And that sent a message. That's all I'm saying. I still don't agree that we should put all 17-year-olds on house arrest, Lemont. They got the green light. It's us against them, now.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174288
Caption: Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-07 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-07 Pub. Date: 2018-07-07
Image Number: 172692
Caption: 1982. Momma says she wants me to be the next Thurgood Marshall. So I asked who that is, and she said he desegregated the schools. And I asked what "desegregated" means, and she said "I'll tell you when you're older." It was at that point that I realized Momma was probably just making up words. What's a "Thurgood"? No, that one makes sense. What has a Thursday ever been bad?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-17 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-17 Pub. Date: 2018-03-17
Image Number: 169398
Caption: Whachoomean little man with his momma? I thought you had full custody. An' I thought you said she an evil vampire. Lionel's been asking to visit his mom for a while now. I don't want to deny him that, even if the court says I can. Besides, people are different things to different people. Just 'cause she's evil toward me, that doesn't mean she's evil toward him. Didn't you say she once tried to have you assassinated? That was just a misunderstanding.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-30 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-30 Pub. Date: 2017-08-30
Image Number: 162089
Caption: What do you mean you don't take Joss Whedon's ex-wife's article at face value? She wrote that he cheated on her for years. That settles everything. No it doesn't. All we heard is her side of the story. And she said at one point she moved away from her personal values to get closer to him. What does that mean. I'll tell you what it might mean: It might mean she knew more than she's letting on, but she was ok with it all the way until he decided to divorce her. Only then did she go back and rewrite history to portray herself as the totally unsuspecting victim. Is this about how your ex lied to the court about you? Is this about how your ex cheated on you?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-23 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-23 Pub. Date: 2017-08-23
Image Number: 161802
Caption: C-Dog ain't worried 'bout no white supremacists. Why not, Clyde? 'Cause they want a race war. An' the way things going, they just might get it. But you know what? The vast majority of white people won't be on the side. Hm. You've got a point. To win with such small numbers, supremacists would have to take over key positions in government, the courts, an' all the police departments first. That'd never happen. I hate sarcasm.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-05 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-05 Pub. Date: 2017-04-05
Image Number: 156467
Caption: I'm heading to DC to report on the Democratic party's filibuster against that judge Trump's appointed to the stolen Supreme Court seat. And then I'm going to cover how they all boldly signed on to Bernie Sanders' Medicare-for-All bill. Wait … are you being sarcastic? Then I'm going to cover their stunning refusal to accept any more Wall Street bribes.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-16 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 151018
Caption: At a run-down bar in Canada, Lemont runs into himself from an alternate reality. In 2013, the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act … because racism was over. Three years later, America elects a white supremacist sympathizer for president. On the bright side, now I don't feel so bad about MY America electing President Kardashian. Trade?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-21 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149908
Caption: Mr. Trump, in 1989, a white woman was assaulted in Central Park. Five black and brown teens confessed. Vancouver Taxi. You took out a full page ad demanding the death penalty. In 2002, they were all proven innocent. The real perpetrator confessed, DNA evidence exonerated them, and courts found the cops had coerced their confessions. Yet just two weeks ago, you insisted they were still guilty anyway ... Why? I'm a better judge of guilt than the evidence is.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-22 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-22 Pub. Date: 2016-05-22
Image Number: 143085
Caption: 1984. Do you think Terrence likes me, Lemont? Who's "Terrence"? I don't know any "Terrence." I know a "Turbo," and a "C-dog," and a "Rerun," and a "Big Oatmeal," and a "Greazy." I know a "Night Court," a "Shorty," a "Cheese-face," a "Rocky," and "Airwolf," a "Riptide," a "Boss," a "Voltron," a "Schoolbreak Special," and a "Big Cheeto." In fact, I'm pretty sure if there was a "Terrence" in our class, he'd go to great lengths to make sure none of us ever knew it. You've asked me an unanswerable question, Susan. The fact he told you his name was "Terrence" is either proof he loves you or proof he's trying to push you away. How come you don't have a nickname? The only on I wanted was "Prince," but living up to it would be too much pressure.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-07 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-07 Pub. Date: 2016-03-07
Image Number: 140178
Caption: Donald Trump's not going to win. He's a joke. Not worried about him. That's why you should worry about him!!! What do you mean? Every time an impossible candidate wins, it's because people "didn't worry about him." No one worried about Nixon. Nixon was a has-been. No one worried about Reagan. Reagan was a joke. Barack Obama ... he was a nobody. Who would Trump put on the Supreme Court: Judge Judy? Every time you say that, the Trump smiles.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-03 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-03 Pub. Date: 2015-10-03
Image Number: 133087
Caption: A federal court just ruled the song "Happy Birthday" is in the public domain. I guess that means we can all stop sending royalty payments to Warner Chappell Music every time we sing it in public. Wait … we can all what? You know how much I'd have saved if this ruling had come down 30-something years ago? Dios mio.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-02 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-02 Pub. Date: 2014-11-02
Image Number: 117756
Caption: I'm tired of race-baiters claiming the real purpose of voter ID laws is to suppress the black vote. I mean, it's probably just a coincidence those laws were enacted the moment the Supreme Court killed part of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. You know what else is just a big coincidence? What's that? Most of those states were once part of the Confederacy and prevented blacks from voting until the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Page 26,958 subparagraph Y in 'The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others.' 'Plenty of Confederates didn't even see color.'
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-07 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-07 Pub. Date: 2014-06-07
Image Number: 112092
Caption: You know how sometimes you don’t realize how wrong something you're doing is till you stop doing it? That's how I felt when the supreme court ruled we can't execute prisoners with "mental retardation" just because their IQ is over 70. Why on earth were we using an IQ over 70 to excuse killing the mentally challenged? What kind of incentive is that for anyone to do well on standardized tests?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-29 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-29 Pub. Date: 2014-04-29
Image Number: 110710
Caption: First the supreme court overturned a crucial part of the Voting Rights Act … … And now it upholds Michigan voters' ban on affirmative action. The court's clearly decided racism's over. So I'm just wondering why'd you beep your car's alarm when you saw me walking by it? Please don't hurt me.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-06 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-06 Pub. Date: 2014-04-06
Image Number: 109064
Caption: You know why the conservatives in the senate killed President Obama's "Debo Adegbile" nomination, right? Lennox. Flatbush. Rollo's Cuts. They said it was 'cause Adegbile represented a "cop-killer" in court. Other people say it's because he's got a record of fighting those voter ID laws, an' Republicans don't want someone in the Justice Department who's good at fighting their voter ID laws. But they're all wrong. You wanna know the REAL reason they killed that nomination? ... Because they could. That still doesn't explain why you shaved an ad for your shop onto the back of my head.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-08 court 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-08 Pub. Date: 2013-10-08
Image Number: 102497
Caption: I'm tired of people blaming republicans for the government shutdown. It's both sides' fault. I mean, libs refused to negotiate Obamacare. They insisted it was a done deal. Thank God For Culture Clash. SINCE WHEN has something been "done" just because it was passed by both houses of congress, signed into law by the president, and upheld by the Supreme Court? Since 1787. You're not supposed to answer hypothetical questions.
     
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