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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about counselors.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-31 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-31 Pub. Date: 2018-12-31
Image Number: 175656
Caption: This year's been awful. Babies in concentration camps … journalists under attack … school shootings … Dr. Noodle. What right do I have to be upset about my own personal problems when all that's going on? I'll repeat the question: You and your girlfriend haven't visited each other in over a year. What do you think that means? How can you talk about that when we have only twelve years to stop climate change? Very interesting. M.A.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-14 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-14 Pub. Date: 2018-12-14
Image Number: 175379
Caption: PhD. M.A. Couple's therapy. Tell her I'm sick and tired of her telling you to tell me things she could tell herself.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-30 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-30 Pub. Date: 2018-11-30
Image Number: 175158
Caption: What brings you to therapy today, Lemont? Ever since I had what most certainly was not a heart attack … I've realized I'm going to die one day. I'm worried about what that'll do to my son. M.A. I see. There comes a time when every person becomes aware of his or her own mortality. The key is to make sure you've prepared your son to pay your final therapy bill. What's the other key?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-18 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-18 Pub. Date: 2018-11-18
Image Number: 174714
Caption: It all started when I was a tiny kid. My grandpa made me get up on stage at the family reunion and sing. Dr. Noodle. He'd really built me up. Told everyone how great a singer I was. But when I looked out at the crowd of 200 or 300 people who were strangers to me ... I froze. The room was completely quiet and I saw 200 or 300 sets of eyes staring at me. Burrowing into my soul and holding me in contempt. I forgot all the words. I started to cry. And then I wet myself. The first step toward overcoming shyness is crawling out from beneath my couch. Never!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-26 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-26 Pub. Date: 2018-08-26
Image Number: 173498
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Nothing. That's the problem. I'm not troubled or preoccupied or traumatized by anything. I'm satisfied with where I am in life. I'm single, but I'm good with that. I crave new things, but all my apps keep upgrading themselves every week, so I feel fulfilled. I can't think of a single thing I'm unhappy about. And that makes me sad ... because you're afraid this means you aren't introspective enough? Nah. I've never even thought about whether I'm introspective enough.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-09 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-09 Pub. Date: 2018-08-09
Image Number: 173376
Caption: twitter. Sassynic: Jumping jacks … have those ever been considered a real exercise? They seem so … fake to me. They're the breast implants of exercises. Candorville: If a caveman saw all the glowing, blinking devices in my room he'd flip out. I'd hate 2 see what he'd do if he saw my bills for all of them. I don't understand, what's this have to do with you deciding you no longer need counseling? I'm cured! All the voices in my head have been crowded out by all the voices in my phone.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-06 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-06 Pub. Date: 2018-08-06
Image Number: 173373
Caption: If she complains about me giving her ultimatums one more time, it's over. Ph.D. M.A. Couple's therapy.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-10 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171944
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-08 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169718
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-13 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169394
Caption: I’m started an ongoing series on my news site where I cover stories the country has forgotten about. Dr. Noodle. I'll be covering how people are still being poisoned in Flint, how the Sioux are still fighting to keep an oil company from threatening their water supply, etc ... The preface I'm writing reminds people we're still at war in Afghanistan after 17 years ... Yes, yes. But the fact remains, I can't diagnose the entire country with amnesia without losing my license. C'mon, it would add so much to the preface.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-04 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-04 Pub. Date: 2018-03-04
Image Number: 168475
Caption: The other day, Kelly texted me hi. So right away I texted back three paragraphs saying hi, asking how she was, and whether she wanted to meet. Dr. Noodle. Did she write back? Yeah. About six hours later, she sent me an lol. So right away I texted back an lol plus four paragraphs asking how her day was, and pointing out that she didn't say whether she wanted to meet. Did she write back? No. I kept checking my phone the rest of the night, but she never wrote back. She finally wrote back three days later. What did she write? She wrote I miss you. OMG. That's exactly what I wrote! Right away. Plus five paragraphs asking if she wanted to meet.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-25 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168231
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-24 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-24 Pub. Date: 2017-12-24
Image Number: 165815
Caption: Why are we here, Michael? First, doc, thank you for seeing me on Christmas Eve. Dr. Noodle. I'm having a crisis. There we were, sitting around the crackling fire, eggnog in hand. We were roasting chestnuts over the open fire. We were singing carols. We'd opened several of the gifts already. That's when the owners came home early. We jumped out the window but I'm pretty sure Vic left his crowbar behind. I see. So you want to know if turning yourself in would make you feel better? I want you to tell anyone who asks, the therapy sessions began at 4 a.m.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-22 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-22 Pub. Date: 2017-12-22
Image Number: 166287
Caption: Doc, I've been coming here for years. I feel pretty happy. I'm thinking maybe I don't need therapy anymore. That makes perfect sense. It's like when you look in the mirror and see you've finally got bright, shiny teeth. There must be no need to keep brushing them if they're no longer decrepit and begrimed. Brains and teeth are two completely different things. Really? Let's chew on that thought for a moment ...
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-10 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165352
Caption: I've been racking my brain trying to think of every interaction I've ever had with a woman. Dr. Noodle. I mean, when I was in my twenties, I did what guys in their twenties often did: I hit on women. Lots of them. We used to think that if a lady wasn’t interested, we just weren't trying hard enough. There were books about how to be more clever. How to be a pickup artist. There were times at the club when I was dancing with a lady, thought I had a shot, and went in for a kiss. Sometimes they didn't even know they were into me until I kissed them. But then they kissed back. Other times, they pushed me off and that was that ... or so I thought. Now, at any moment, some random woman could come forward and ruin my life. Well, lets start by acknowledging it's a healthy thing for society that men are learning what it's like to live in fear, for a change. Doesn't feel healthy.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-26 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165350
Caption: Women and men are coming forward and exposing all the powerful guys who've sexually harassed them. Its making me feel awfully worried and guilty. Dr. Noodle. Why? I'm worried that at any moment, a victim is going to come forward and ruin my life. That's natural. Think about it this way, though. If whoever it is you abused does come forward, you'll have a chance to come clean and clear your conscience. Huh? I've never abused anyone. I'm confused. I've already lost "House of Cards." This seems to be so pervasive, I could lose everything I spend my life watching. What'll I lose next, "Walking Dead"? "Man in the High Castle"? ... If they take "Big Bang Theory" my life'll pretty much be over. Just curious: Have you ever heard the phrases "get a life" and "it's not about you"? Hence the guilt.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-16 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-16 Pub. Date: 2017-09-16
Image Number: 162602
Caption: Everyone goes through this at one time or another, Lemont. It's important not to worry about what other people think of you, if you know you're doing the right thing. It's important to get to a place of self-confidence. Self-assurance. Peace. Whatever. I still think your new "get your 10th psychosis treated free" punchcards make you look tacky. And yet I'm at peace with that.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-23 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-23 Pub. Date: 2017-07-23
Image Number: 160037
Caption: Nobody's proper anymore. Dr. Noodle. What ever happened to the good old days, when gentlemen were gentlemen? Men never spit in public. Men never had tattoos unless they were pirates. And ladies were ladies. You never would've caught Queen Victoria twerking on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I was born 150 years too late. That's a common affliction. "Guy-who-would-never-have-been-a-slave-150-years-ago-itis." There are 45 million slaves today, y'know.
     
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