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Candorville

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Result page:     (15 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-21 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-21 Pub. Date: 2019-02-21
Image Number: 176394
Caption: I looked up that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. He said … To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment. I wonder if he'd have said that if he hadn't died in 1882. I'm not sure marching to the beat of one's own drummer is as great an accomplishment as walking on the moon, for instance. Shhh. Gilligan Island be on.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-18 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-18 Pub. Date: 2016-05-18
Image Number: 143334
Caption: Prince visits Lemont's dream. Even people who weren't big fans of yours were hit hard. I think it's because your talent was undeniable. And you wrote music constantly, like you just had to. It was like you were a vessel, and music just poured through you. The last person like that was Mozart. You were our Mozart, and people realized on a gut level they'd taken you for granted. You even dressed like him for a while. It's important to know when to stop talking.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-17 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141571
Caption: I'm so happy, doc. I think I'm falling madly in love with an Israeli women I met in Turkey. Dr. Noodle. That's interesting. Just last month, you were still in love with Kelly. And the month before that, you were in love with Marie. And two months before that, it was Sharquisha. You're constantly falling in and out of love. Out? Who said anything about "out"? I still love every woman I've ever loved. With all my heart and soul. With the intensity of the big bang itself. You don't like seeing things end, do you? I've Facebook friended everyone I've ever met.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-06 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-06 Pub. Date: 2015-09-06
Image Number: 131719
Caption: I want two things from our next president. First, I want him to be America's greatest cheerleader. I want him to constantly say that America is "exceptional." I don't want him focusing on "police brutality" and all the other things that make us look bad. I want him to make sure the whole world knows that the USA is the best place to live that there's ever been, in the whole history of mankind. What's the second thing you want? I want him to do something about all the foreigners who're so desperate to come live here that they can't wait a few measly decades to do it legally. Exoneration Nation. But ... I thought you wanted him to make America seem like it's the only place worth living. Not in an invitationy way ... more as a "nanny-nanny-na-na."
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-26 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-26 Pub. Date: 2015-07-26
Image Number: 129550
Caption: I just started reading the book "2312." It starts on Mercury, where we built a city that constantly travels along rails to avoid the cataclysmic fire of the sun. It's hard to remember we're even capable of that sort of thing. We don't even build the world's tallest buildings anymore. We don't build much of anything. We barely even fill potholes. Once upon a time, we thought big. We built bridges. We carved new rivers. We sent men to the moon. But we've stopped thinking big. Did you know Saudi Arabia's building a tower that's almost twice as tall as our tallest building? Saudi Arabia ain't part of "we"? It ... That's not what I ... Oh, shut up.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-04 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-04 Pub. Date: 2014-05-04
Image Number: 110313
Caption: This better not be Indirectv. This is Bryan, with Indirectv. You haven't paid your satellite TV bill in two months. I made payment arrangements with you guys two weeks ago. You said I have till next month to pay, but you guys keep calling me three times a day, every day, anyway. I sent you a certified letter telling you not to call me ever again. Do you know what that means, Bryan? It means that according to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, you owe me up to $1000 for each time you've called me since then. I'm sorry, I was away from the phone. Can you repeat that? Uh ... never mind. Carry on. We're going to keep calling you every day till you pay your bill. Oh, no. I think your constant calls are close to working. I probably can't take more than a couple more weeks of this harassment.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-06 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-06 Pub. Date: 2012-05-06
Image Number: 79901
Caption: I'm never going to find a job. Try to me more optimistic, Lemont. "Optimists, madam, believe that all will turn out for the best. They are therefore constantly disappointed. "I on the other hand, prepare myself for the worst. Should it not occur, I am delightfully surprised." ... Benjamin Franklin. Which one of his writings is that from? Um ... Uh ... His letter to Thomas Paine, I believe. You sure it wasn't from the Ben Franklin episode of "Bewitched"? The quote's still valid. NO IT'S NOT!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-12 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-12 Pub. Date: 2011-06-12
Image Number: 61590
Caption: When someone doesn't return your love and devotion, it's normal to assume you should change something about yourself. Oh, you noticed I've lost a few pounds? That has absolutely nothing to do with the face that Kelly hasn't even called me for months. I've lost my appetite for no reason, and I've been working out constantly, to get my mind off nothing in particular. Hmmm ... I see. My friends are awful quiet around me. People don't know what to say to someone who's in denial. No, they probably think I'm getting way too skinny.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-12 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-12 Pub. Date: 2009-10-12
Image Number: 39582
Caption: Ready for your flu shot? Ready for my flu shot. Y'know, you're fairly cute for someone who's a willing participant in the government's conspiracy to send healthy people into pharmacies where they'll run into sick people … … in order to pad the profits of the big Kleenexes and the big Nyquils. ... but I bet you hear that from all the guys. Oh, constantly.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-18 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-18 Pub. Date: 2008-01-18
Image Number: 21207
Caption: You look happy. Good day fo' a thug rapper, Big L. But I thought you were depressed. I thought white folks in Iowa voting for Obama filled you with hope. I thought that hope made it impossible for you to go on profiting from black misery and despair. Yeh, but then I remembered black-on-black crime. That ALWAYS gon' be there.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-14 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-14 Pub. Date: 2007-03-14
Image Number: 16393
Caption: I don't know what to do, Clyde. I told Susan something witty I once heard in a movie. She somehow got the impression I came up with it. If she ever sees that movie, she'll think I'm a huge fraud. I can tell her now and face a little embarrassment… ...or I can tell more lies to cover up this one and live in constant fear of being found out. Plan B intrigues me.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-17 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-17 Pub. Date: 2006-08-17
Image Number: 14436
Caption: Secretary Rumsfeld, is Iraq embroiled in a civil war? Oh, my… Is there constant carnage between difference sects? YOU BET! But is it a civil war? Are they wearing blue or grey uniforms? No. Is there a Ken Burns documentary about it? Absolutely not. ...so I don't think you can it a classic "civil war" at this point.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-14 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-16 Pub. Date: 2006-05-14
Image Number: 13724
Caption: 2006. Latino Menace. Sure, America has always prospered 'cause of hard-working immigrants, but today's problem is different! This time it's a real crisis! 1956. Mexican Menace. These migrants can do our menial labor, but they they've gotta go! There's too many of 'em! Our fragile society just can't handle it! 1896. Italian Menace. They're taking jobs from real Americans. It's never been this bad before. I say deport them all. 1882. Chinese Menace. They won't even learn the English. Why, the magnitude of this calamity is unprecedented! 1856. Irish Menace. There's not way we can assimilate all these foreigners! They'll pollute our culture and steal our jobs! This crisis is unparalleled! Something must be done. 1751. German Menace. And it must be done now. Forbid their entry, else the filthy hordes shall surely flummox us, verily! It hath never been thus before, sire!
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-23 constant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-23
Image Number: 13052
Caption: The White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives visits Reverend Wilfred. They had the nerve to criticize the President at Coretta Scott King's memorial even though he was in constant view of all the cameras. They callously ruined a very moving photo op. You mean "memorial." What did I say?
     
Result page:     (15 images)