Hello, journalist, you've reached the campaign of Donald Trump. Vancouver International Airport. If you've criticized Mr. Trump in the past, press "one," you overrated, no-talent hack. Taxi queue. If you've showered him with praise, press "two," you decent, talented credit to your profession. Boop. You've pressed "two." Your interview may now commence ... Hello? This is Trump. "One" and "two" are so close together.