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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-04 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-04 Pub. Date: 2018-05-04
Image Number: 171056
Caption: I read our article about how lead poisoning might be one of the main causes of violent crimes in Chicago and other cities. I liked the cost-benefit analysis part the best … where you compared the cot of replacing our cities' lead pipes vs. the cost of incarcerating criminals who were raised near those lead pipes. I bet you're going to win a Pulitzer for this one, Lemont. I wonder if there's any lead in that trophy.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-03 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-03 Pub. Date: 2018-05-03
Image Number: 171055
Caption: Did you know that Chicago's water is full of brain-damaging lead, jut like in Flint? It's probably been there for decades. Did you know studies have shown links between childhood lead exposure and violent crime? Did you know that plenty of other cities that have lots of violent crime also have ancient lead pipes bringing water into their homes? Did you know that nobody seems to be able to put two and two together? Prob'ly 'cause of all that lead.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-02 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-02 Pub. Date: 2018-03-02
Image Number: 168931
Caption: Whachoodoin', bruh? You been on youtube all day. I'm arguing with some Ukrainian lady who posted a video accusing me of smearing her country by pointing out its growing neo Nazi problem. She said Ukraine's like any other country: minorities and foreigners are safe as long as they stick to the city center. And stick to the sunny side of the street in the city center. And stick to the hotel. And avoid the lobby ... I always avoid lobbies. That's where they get you ... and avoid room service.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-02 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-02 Pub. Date: 2018-02-02
Image Number: 167921
Caption: 1980. I don't think I like that Luke Skywalker can fly. What do you mean? Jedi can't fly. That's silly. Then how come he flew up out of that carbonite pit when Vader tried to freezify him? And how come he changed direction while he was falling on Cloud City and flew right into that trash chute? None of that happened. Yes it did! (Sigh) You didn't even notice it 'cause movies always show men doing amazing things. I bet if Princess Leia were to ever fly, men everywhere would get their Underoos all in a bunch over it. You don't give us men enough credit.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-28 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 167088
Caption: Hi, I just got a notice that I owe $30k t the city in past freelance taxes. That's right. Because you didn't file as a business between 2007 and 2013. I wasn't a business. I was a reporter for a newspaper. They paid you with a 1099 instead of W-2. That makes you a business. They paid me with a 1099 so they could get away with not giving me benefits, and so they wouldn't have to give me paid time off! That doesn't mean I was running a business! Yes it does. I see you earned less than $100k per year. You wouldn't owe us anything if you filed for an exemption during the years you owed those taxes. You never told me this tax even existed! I'm not gonna pay you $30,000 for a tax I didn't owe just because you never told me I didn't owe it! You're right, sir. If you include the penalties, you're actually gonna pay us $38,000. You're going to make me become a Republican! You know that, right?! There's no special exemption for Republicans.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-03 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165351
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tries to change the subject by saying "yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … you rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix all these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters bigger'n all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them in asteroid craters? Good game, Clyde.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-25 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-25 Pub. Date: 2017-11-25
Image Number: 165152
Caption: Is the city getting smoggier, Susan? I used to be able to count the windows on the buildings across the bay from here. No, Lemont. The city's not getting smoggier. It's gotten a lot cleaner, actually. Are they making gravity heavier? It used to be a lot easier getting up here. Old man.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-04 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-04 Pub. Date: 2017-11-04
Image Number: 164420
Caption: You know how China built all those huge mega-cities, expecting people to flock to them, but they're still mostly empty? It's kind of ruined one of my all-time favorite movies: "Field of Dreams." Apparently if you build it, they don't come. I posted an article about that on my site, but nobody's read it ... That's more proof. Dios mio.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-18 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-18 Pub. Date: 2017-07-18
Image Number: 160502
Caption: I'm so glad I caught you before you left town, Vancouver. So am I, Candorville. But why'd you want to meet here? Why not in the city? I wanted to see where you live. I wanted to meet your little boy. I wanted to show you this video a friend of mine sent me of you cheating on me with some muscle-bound oaf, and I didn't want the horrible memory of me dumping you to taint my city. Also, I wanted a caramel-kiwi mocha, and the only cafe that makes it is out here. Wait ... Back up?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-29 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-29 Pub. Date: 2017-01-29
Image Number: 153149
Caption: It all started back in college when I bought a copy of "Mimic City." It was cheap: About 20 simoleons. Dr. Noodle. I played it night and day. When "Mimic City 2" came out, I rushed out to buy it. And every few years a newer, better one would come out. Every iteration was more advanced than the last. The little mimics who populated Mimic City came to seem more and more real. They had jobs, and love lives, and had mimic kids, and grew old. Eventually, I started to wonder: If my mimics behave as if they're real ... what if they actually believe they're real? Would that make me their God? And, if they think they're real ... what if I only THINK I'm real? What if I and everyone else in Simkind are actually living in some game called "Sim City"? Not to self: Stop self-medicating, and just to be sure, delete games from phone. Thank you, Almighty Noodle, for listening to my prayers. Amen.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-11 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-11 Pub. Date: 2017-01-11
Image Number: 153088
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was playing "Simcity" the other day when it occurred to me … We may all be just a computer simulation. There's evidence of that everywhere. All computer programs have glitches, for instance. We see those glitches all the time. We call them "deja vu." I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before. I knew you were going to say that.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-10 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-10 Pub. Date: 2016-10-10
Image Number: 149609
Caption: So, why're you going to Vancouver? What was that? Can't … breathe … Well … I'm going 'cause it's the one city I've never worked out in.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-06 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-06 Pub. Date: 2016-08-06
Image Number: 146693
Caption: Where have all the butterflies gone, Susan? Good question. See, this is why I'm more comfortable with a female best friend. I can ask you a simple question about a bug without you questioning my manhood. Think there'll ever be another "Sex and the City" movie? Don't push it.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-24 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144901
Caption: Thanks for walking me home, Clyde. No problem. The streets a very different place for women than they is for men. Least I could do is walk you home an' accept the $2 walk-home fee you agreed to. I thought you were joking. Psht! Write that on your electric bill an' see what they say.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-02 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-02 Pub. Date: 2016-06-02
Image Number: 143921
Caption: Hi, San Francisco? This is Lemont Brown from Candorville.com, the news blog. You just announced people will be able to reserve a spot of grass in a public park. But they have to go on your website and pay up to $250. And if they sit on grass someone else paid for, they might get tossed out by security. I just have one question: Can people also reserve a spot in the growing gap between the rich and poor? Click. Can I quote you on that?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-13 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-13 Pub. Date: 2016-04-13
Image Number: 141798
Caption: I've been looking for you all day, Clyde. I'm in hiding, bruh. My phone be ringin' off the hook. People be bangin' on my door an whatnot askin' me for favors. Sometimes the only way a brotha can get some peace an' quiet is to run far away. I still have no idea how you came to be a superdelegate. It all started back in sixth grade when I set up that "Alibis Provided for $2" stand near city hall.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-09 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-09 Pub. Date: 2016-01-09
Image Number: 137380
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner … Hang a left, another left … two more lefts … … Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know." (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-12-16).
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-07 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-07 Pub. Date: 2016-01-07
Image Number: 137378
Caption: http://archive.org. Wayback Machine. Year: 1763. Url: Twitter.com/BenjaminFranklin. Benjamin Franklin. @benjaminfranklin. Philadelphia, PA. TWEETS. Benjamin Franklin. @benjaminfranklin. Not telling who gave me Hutchinson letter, but initials = T.P. LOL! Benjamin Franklin. @benjaminfranklin. Tights bunching like crazy. LOL! Benjamin Franklin. @benjaminfranklin. City Tavern charging 7 shillings for slice of shoofly pie. They trippin. LOL! (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-25).
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-29 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-29 Pub. Date: 2015-10-29
Image Number: 134385
Caption: Is the city getting smoggier, Susan? I used to be able to count the windows on the buildings across the bay from here. No, Lemont. The city's not getting smoggier. It's gotten a lot cleaner, actually. Are they making gravity heavier? It used to be a lot easier getting up here. Old man.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-25 city 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133804
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tried to change the subject by saying "Yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … your rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters biggern all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them asteroid craters?
     
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