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| Candorville |
| Result page: | 1 | (12 images) |
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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-09-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-09-29 |
| Image Number: |
163101 |
| Caption: |
How 'bout that Chokers game? The Candorville Chokers might go all the way this year. Whachoocare? What do you mean "What do I care?" Haven't you got any civic pride, son? They're our hometown team. They're our boys. They a bunch of grown-!@#$ men runnin' 'round in a circle for millions of dollars. Ain't nary a one of them even from here. That pitcher Fernando Maldonado only speak German. In the winter we play for Cameroon. If you don't like small talk, just say so!
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-11-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-11-13 |
| Image Number: |
150252 |
| Caption: |
Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-09-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-02 |
| Image Number: |
147923 |
| Caption: |
I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood clichés. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all along in front of his tv … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for a half an hour. Clichés are clichés for a reason. |
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-09-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-09-26 |
| Image Number: |
132817 |
| Caption: |
"Global warming" is just another NASA scam, babe. They must think we're idiots. There's proof it's warming. I'm not talking about the "warming" part, I'm talking about the "globe" nonsense. There's no evidence at all the earth is round. Only a handful of people have ever seen the earth as a "sphere," and they all work for a government agency. We're supposed to just take their word for it? That's idiotic! Just go to the beach and watch a ship sail over the horizon! How much is NASA paying you? |
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-08-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-08-02 |
| Image Number: |
129962 |
| Caption: |
I always wanted a circle of friends like the ones I saw on TV, Dr. Noodle. I wanted friends who would stick by me through all my failed romances … like in "Sex and the City" … Friends who would care enough about me to argue with me when I'm wrong, like in "A Different World" ... Friends who would do silly dances to make me lighten up, like in "What's Happening!!" ... Friends who would fight every battle for me, like Fonzie did for Richie Cunningham. Why can't I find friends like those?! Maybe because you've spent all your time watching tv. Frasier Crane never would've said that. |
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-10-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-10-11 |
| Image Number: |
117067 |
| Caption: |
I'm not looking forward to the next President or the next Congress. Every single year, as far back as I can remember, everyone's agreed that politics have never been more polarized. Doesn’t it feel like our republic is circling the drain? Sooner or later, one of these elections is going to known as "The Great Flush." |
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-07-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-07-28 |
| Image Number: |
99246 |
| Caption: |
I always wanted a circle of friends like the ones I saw on TV. I wanted friends who would stick by me through all my failed romances … Like in "Sex and the City." … Friends who would care enough about me to argue with me when I'm wrong, like in "A Different World." ... Friends who would do silly dances to make me lighten up, like in "What's Happening!!" ... Friends who would fight every battle for me, like Fonzie did for Richie Cunningham. WHY CAN'T I FIND FRIENDS LIKE THOSE?! Maybe because you've spent all your time watching TV. FRASIER CRANE never would've said that. |
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2011-12-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-12-04 |
| Image Number: |
73141 |
| Caption: |
I realized something today. It's been months since I checked my email to see if Kelly had written to me. Dr. Noodle. I used to check every day. Sometimes a dozen times a day. And when she did write, my heart would scratch at the door and run around in circle after circle till I grabbed it's leash to calm it down. I would live for those rare, precious emails where she'd tell me she's thinking of me and loves me with all her heart. But now I've gone months without even checking, doctor, MONTHS. For the last time, no you may not borrow my computer. But the one at the library is still broken! |
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2011-01-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-01-05 |
| Image Number: |
55833 |
| Caption: |
My New Year's resolution is to win custody of my son from his wicked mother … … who's filthy rich and able to hire a lawyer that'll litigate circles around mine, draining me of money, time and hope … … leaving me an empty, withered husk of despair. I also resolve to be an optimist. You're off to a good start. |
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-08-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-08-09 |
| Image Number: |
25612 |
| Caption: |
So I was walking toward the Hawaiian barbecue place, when I saw this huge group ahead of me. I was angry. I knew I'd have to wait 20 minutes before I could even order. But just then, they all stopped outside the door, got in a circle, and started praying. Naturally, I shoved my way through, got in ahead of them, and was in an' out in five minutes. Hold up. If you say this proved God exists, you're going to hell. ...I wasn't going to say that. I don't know that guy, God. |
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-06-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-06-03 |
| Image Number: |
23872 |
| Caption: |
You did what? I got a new Feudalbanc Massacard… …And used it to pay off my Cittobank Vistacard, so I could use that to pay off my Discovery Card, so I could use that to pay off my Luciferbanc Massacard… …Which I then used to pay off my American Excess Card... ...Which I'll now use to pay off my Feudalbanc Massacard. The circle of death. |
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2005-09-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2005-09-04 |
| Image Number: |
11566 |
| Caption: |
I was just on your blog and I read that new article you wrote: "The Failure of Twinkie™ Diplomacy." What did you think of it, Susan?…. |
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| Result page: | 1 | (12 images) |
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