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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about Christmas .

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-08 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-08 Pub. Date: 2018-12-08
Image Number: 175267
Caption: I'd really like it if just once I could enjoy the holidays. On Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, I can't help but be angry that Emperor Augustus deported the Bethlehemians. On Easter, when people celebrate the resurrection, I can't help but mourn all the people Rome crucified. Bethlehemians? Don't even get me started on Kwanzaa.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-02 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-02 Pub. Date: 2018-12-02
Image Number: 174985
Caption: Big L, you want me to be Santa again for your boy this year? Let me think about that, Clyde … Last year, I woke up to find my two-year-old boy shocking a pigeon with a taser gun. He said Santa gave him the taser, said Don't tell your daddy, and then forgot to shut the window when he climbed down the fire escape. I tried mouth-to-mouth but the pigeon was long gone. I only had to spend nine days in jail for animal cruelty, but my boy was in therapy for four months. Not my fault. I told him to only use it for fishing. No I don't want you to be Santa this year!!!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-26 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-26 Pub. Date: 2017-12-26
Image Number: 166534
Caption: How come you ain't thanked me for your Christmas gift, Big L? Why would I thank you? You gift-wrapped $2 and gave it to me. And then not thirty seconds later, you borrowed $2 from me. I thought it was 'posed to be the thought that count. Well I think you thought wrong.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-25 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-25 Pub. Date: 2017-12-25
Image Number: 166533
Caption: Merry Christmas … Yeah, I said it. Put that in your secularist pipe and smoke it. #LOL! #Youlose. Bet that really gets you upset, doesn't it? Not really. I love Christmas. I'm having a Christmas party tonight. My little boy's going to be an elf. I'm going to be Rudolph the Reindeer. Yeah, right. Like I believe that ... Would you like to come? Yes ... I mean, someone has to prove your "party" is a ruse!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-24 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-24 Pub. Date: 2017-12-24
Image Number: 165815
Caption: Why are we here, Michael? First, doc, thank you for seeing me on Christmas Eve. Dr. Noodle. I'm having a crisis. There we were, sitting around the crackling fire, eggnog in hand. We were roasting chestnuts over the open fire. We were singing carols. We'd opened several of the gifts already. That's when the owners came home early. We jumped out the window but I'm pretty sure Vic left his crowbar behind. I see. So you want to know if turning yourself in would make you feel better? I want you to tell anyone who asks, the therapy sessions began at 4 a.m.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-13 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-13 Pub. Date: 2017-12-13
Image Number: 166003
Caption: What's wrong with you? Maybe it's the looming holidays, Rosencrantz. What does it bespeak of society that they've set aside that they've set aside a certain span of days on the calendar in which to be nice to one another? Am I the only one perturbed by a straitjacket of forced niceties people wrap themselves in? ... Am I the only one who so much as notices it? I told you, Tyrone, just because I got you something doesn't mean you have to get me something. See? Any other time of year, you'd whine about it! They got you too!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-08 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165707
Caption: Some cat said "Merry Christmas" to me. I didn't hear him 'cause I had my earbuds on, listenin' to old Biz Markie tracks. So I didn't say nothin' back. Then this fool got in my face talkin' bout there a "War on Christmas." I told him what the @#$% you talkin' bout, bruh? There a war e'ry day. We been at war ever since my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard was on the radio in '03. What" What?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-07 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-07 Pub. Date: 2017-12-07
Image Number: 165706
Caption: Merry Christmas, young brother … I said, Merry Christmas. It's a time of joy and happiness. You're supposed to say "Merry Christmas" back. What's wrong with people? Doesn't anyone have any manners anymore? I hate everybody!!! What jus' happened?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-15 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-15 Pub. Date: 2017-06-15
Image Number: 159154
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. How do I make Brixton not be a buller? Hold on … lemme call your daddy … It's ringin'. Day care. Hello? Yo, Big L, some bully beefin' wit' little man. What you want me to tell 'im to do? The plane crashed at the North Pole! We were rescued by insurgent elves but now they're holding us hostage until the dictator Santa Clause agrees to a ceasefire and two weeks' paid vacation! Send help! got it. Later, bruh. Boop. Your daddy want you to shout a lot of nonsense so the bully think you crazy. I happen to concur.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-24 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-24 Pub. Date: 2016-12-24
Image Number: 152374
Caption: Merry Christmas. Sheep. What? What do you mean "sheep"? I mean, when we hit certain days on the calendar, people programming kick in. You gon' buy gifts, kill a bird, eat stuffing out its butthole, an' sit in a room with people you don't care enough about to visit the rest of the year ... 'cause you're s'posed to. Happy Sheep Day, bruh. I said Merry @#$% Christmas!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-23 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-23 Pub. Date: 2016-12-23
Image Number: 152373
Caption: I realized Christmas was a bunch of nonsense when we was kids, Big L. You know why? 'Cause of all the snow. Reindeer in the snow. Pine trees in the snow. Fat Santa in the snow. But Jesus was from the Middle East, dawg. The Middle East where it's hot. That's why I decorate my tree with hummus. There wasn't nary a snowflake in the bible, bruh.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-22 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-22 Pub. Date: 2016-01-22
Image Number: 137948
Caption: Be careful what you wish for, Rosencrantz. For Christmas, I wished you and I had a "blanket."
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-25 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-25 Pub. Date: 2015-12-25
Image Number: 136832
Caption: I was having a great Christmas until I turned on the "Ask Sadie Radio Hour." What happened? She went 4.3 minutes before she even mentioned Christmas. The nerve! This war on Christmas is getting totally out of control. So I called in and I told her off. I said she and the rest of the godless, Christmas-hating media should stick their disrespect where the sun don't shine. I said "What part of 'peace on earth, good will toward man' don't you understand, you @#$%&!"? Wait, isn't the "Ask Sadie" show's intro about 4 minutes long?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-24 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-24 Pub. Date: 2015-12-24
Image Number: 136831
Caption: You should download my new Christmas album off i-Tunes. I took all the old classics an' updated them for modern times, bruh. I got erethang from "@$%# The Police" to "When Doves Cry" to "The Humpty Dance" all done in my own style. Pretty sure those aren't Christmas songs. Erethang a Christmas song if you jingle some bells over it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-27 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-27 Pub. Date: 2014-12-27
Image Number: 120260
Caption: Thanta. What? Thanta Cloth. Son, I'm getting you speech therapy. But I don't want thpeeth thewapy, I want a pwaythtathion and a yewwow wemote contwowed caw. New rule, son: You can only have something if you can pronounce it correctly. "Cowectwy" is in the eaw of the behowder.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-21 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-21 Pub. Date: 2014-12-21
Image Number: 119939
Caption: When other people get attention, I'm not jealous, I'm happy for them. That's just the kinda guy I am. Like when my little brother, Halloween, has his day, I'm always the first to say 'good for you.' Everyone gets a turn to shine. I always get the whole month of November to myself, after all ... at least till Black Friday officially puts the spotlight on my big brother, Christmas. But this year, Chris sent out 'Black Friday' ads the day after Halloween! People just skipped right over me! The middle child usually has it rough. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for that overrated @*$%.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-05 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-05 Pub. Date: 2014-12-05
Image Number: 119645
Caption: I'm not buying any gifts this Christmas, Clyde. Say what? Buying someone a gift used to mean something. You used to have to go to the store and think about what they'd like. Now that you can just click a button on their Amazon Wish List, you don’t have to put any thought at all into it. It used to be the THOUGHT that counted. Now it's the THOUGHTLESS that counts. You broke, ain't you.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-04 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-04 Pub. Date: 2014-12-04
Image Number: 119644
Caption: What should I get your two-year-old for Christmas, Big L? Lionel would love a bronze replica of the starship Defiant, from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. You a bad father, Big L. I said what's he want? That IS what he wants! … Also an adult sized Captain Sisko uniform he can grow into. BAD father.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-17 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-17 Pub. Date: 2014-01-17
Image Number: 106175
Caption: Be careful what you wish for, Rosencrantz. For Christmas, I wished you and I had a "blanket."
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-26 Christmas 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-26 Pub. Date: 2013-12-26
Image Number: 105430
Caption: Thank you again for your Christmas gift, Rosencrantz. Do you truly like it, Tyrone? You gave me a single tattered sock, which smells of sardine. I can't help but notice one of YOUR socks is missing. "Share the wealth" is my motto. It's the sweetest-smelling foul smell I've ever smelled, my friend.
     
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