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Candorville

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41. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
42. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-01 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-01 Pub. Date: 2018-11-01
Image Number: 174718
Caption: I'll tell you one thing, Susan, this is not the country I thought it was. When we were kids, I thought all the bad, unfair, horrible things were all in the past. I thought Martin Luther King, Jr., the Beatles, Muhammad Ali and Mr. Rogers came along and made it all better. I want my son to have the same tragically wrong illusions. It makes for a happy childhood. I still don't think you should cryogenically freeze him and they him out when all the crazy stops. I'm just researching whether it's possible. I haven't decided.
     
43. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-31 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-31 Pub. Date: 2018-10-31
Image Number: 174717
Caption: Now that my son's in the child protective services system, I have to be extra careful. But I'm still a journalist, Susan. We have ways to get the truth out. I mean, yes, I killed my story about the county suppressing minority voters. And yes, I ran a puff piece about the local bunny farm instead. But I trust my readers are bright enough to pick up on the secret code I used in the bunny farm story. Replace every time I wrote bunny with voter, and every time I wrote fluffy with disenfranchised, and ... Dios mio.
     
44. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-29 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-29 Pub. Date: 2018-10-29
Image Number: 174715
Caption: This is child protective services, how may we hinder you? Hi, I had my son strapped to my back while I was working. I was reporting on how early voting was going. We were on a bus with a bunch of elderly black people who were on their way to vote, and they were all ordered to get off. I interviewed county officials about why they did that. Explain to me how that's child endangerment! The child was in danger of losing faith in his system of government. Give me back my son!!
     
45. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-25 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174603
Caption: Momma, why can't you watch Lionel for me? It's only two weeks. I have an important story to go cover. What do you mean you don't have the energy? … Yes, yes I know you're not 22 anymore, but you … Yes, Yes I know you're not 23 anymore. But … Yes, I know you're not 24 -- Are we going to go through every number there is? ... No, I'm not saying you're that old. Hello? Are you still there?
     
46. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-24 Pub. Date: 2018-10-24
Image Number: 174602
Caption: Sorry, Lemont, I can't watch your son for you for two whole weeks. Have a Lego allergy. Oh … wait, a what? No? Well, I mean I have an appendectomy scheduled. No, you don't. You just don't want to watch your best friend's son while your best friend is away covering the voter disenfranchisement in all those states. Children terrify you. Admit it. Are you calling me a liar? You had your appendix out in second grade. It grew back.
     
47. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-30 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-30 Pub. Date: 2018-09-30
Image Number: 174071
Caption: I read that dumb article you wrote, where you said we should have magical fairies deliver caramel-covered mountains of cash in sacks made of rainbows to every man, woman and child. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't do it … don't do it. That's not all what I wrote. I wrote that we should give our war veterans better access to health care, education, and job training. If you have to explain what you wrote, then what you wrote wasn't very clear. Gah!!!
     
48. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-27 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-27 Pub. Date: 2018-09-27
Image Number: 174194
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
49. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-01 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-01 Pub. Date: 2018-09-01
Image Number: 173793
Caption: Do you think it's weird I keep everything my son has ever made? What we talkin' 'bout keepin', bruh? Well … I have everything he's ever drawn. Normal. I have a tiny bag with the clipping from his first haircut. Normal. I have a tinier bag with his first booger. Lemme borrow your phone right quick so I can block you on Facebook.
     
50. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-29 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-29 Pub. Date: 2018-08-29
Image Number: 173790
Caption: Something was wrong with the refugee in the President's baby jail Hola? Minutes passed. He didn't answer any of my questions. Hours passed. I don't remember seeing him so much as blink. They'd injected him with psychotropic drugs to shut him up. Dio mio! I know. I'd been hoping he was just really, really shy.
     
51. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-27 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-27 Pub. Date: 2018-08-27
Image Number: 173788
Caption: Now that the airduct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a toddler in one of Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. He was sobbing. He was hysterical. He was calling out for his mother. He was just around the corner ... But so were the armed guards. By the time I got the glue, the fake beard and the janitor disguise, the child's cries had stopped. Wait ... back up. I almost blew my cover when I lost control of the spinny-mop thing and it dragged me down the hall.
     
52. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-25 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-25 Pub. Date: 2018-08-25
Image Number: 173659
Caption: Now that the air duct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a child in one of Mr. Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. I heard him crying out for mama! over and over.. I had no idea what condition he would be in. But nothing I imagined could prepare me for what I would see. His crying grew more and more hysterical. I was just meters from him. I rounded the corner. And there, right before my eyes, was ... to be continued. Told you not to have that jumbo lemonade. Telling stories makes my mouth dry.
     
53. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-24 Pub. Date: 2018-08-24
Image Number: 173658
Caption: After I'd gracefully climbed down from the air duct, I jumped right back into action … I'm a trained investigative journalist. And while I may be mumblety three years old, I've got the stamina of a man twice my age. I summoned all my skills to finally track down one of the refugee children the President had kidnapped from his parents. Mama! Sounds like they trained you very well in journalism school. Not much gets past me. Will humor you for $.
     
54. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-22 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-22 Pub. Date: 2018-08-22
Image Number: 173656
Caption: A voice from somewhere deep in the air duct system told me to be still, and to listen for the cries of a child, for it would lead me to a refugee whose story must be told. So I did. I stilled my mind … and it led me to wonder if I'd paid the gas bill, if I was missing an Amazon delivery, and if that cretin Gary226 had admitted defeat yet in our Facebook argument. Dios mio. Then I stilled my mind again ...
     
55. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-21 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-21 Pub. Date: 2018-08-21
Image Number: 173655
Caption: … So I kept crawling through the air duct, searching for a vent that'd lead me to a refugee in one of the President's baby jails. But every vent led to a different moment in time and space. A different atrocity. Air ducts sprawled and twisted and meandered in every direction. For miles. Maybe farther. My phone had long since died, and so there was no light. I was alone. I was lost. I almost gave up. But then, a whisper from somewhere in the void echoed along the cold metal ducts. t said Be still And listen of the cried of the child. Yeah, right. Since when do tiny kids cry when total strangers rip them from their parents? What? They had to have been coached. Bus.
     
56. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-20 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-20 Pub. Date: 2018-08-20
Image Number: 173654
Caption: Susan … Did you just check your watch? Whaaaat? Noooo. 'Course not. I'm telling you about how I tried to interview a tiny child in one of the President's baby-refugee jails … and you're checking your watch. Well just how long do you expect someone to be able to stay outraged about something like that? Forever. That's too tiring! How tired do you think those babies' parents are?
     
57. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-17 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-17 Pub. Date: 2018-08-17
Image Number: 173503
Caption: Assuming I were to buy that you accidentally crawled back through time to 1942 in an air duct … what happened next? I climbed back in, of course. Interviewing that child in FDR's internment camp filled me with a searing compulsion to interview one of the thousands in Trump's. I crept past exit after exit before I noticed they were marked. In tiny letter. One read Pennsylvania 1879-1918, Pratt's Indian Boarding Schools. The next one read 1619-1865 Slave Family Separation. On second thought, you know what they say about assuming things.
     
58. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-14 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-14 Pub. Date: 2018-08-14
Image Number: 173500
Caption: Wait … You snuck into the wrong refugee internment camp? Seemed so. I was trying to reach Rudy Park and the other survivors of the town that got swallowed by a sinkhole. But it seemed I accidentally snuck into one of the President's baby jails instead. Oh ... so then what happened? Y'know, never in a millions years did I imagine I'd say either of those sentences. Focus.
     
59. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-13 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-13 Pub. Date: 2018-08-13
Image Number: 173499
Caption: So … Anderson Cooper distracted the guards while I snuck into the air duct to cover the real story. The architect who gave me the blueprints marked a path that'd take me to the refugees Mayor Thump had imprisoned … but I seemed to have made a wrong turn. Psst! You there ... Are you a refugee? Don't think so. My daddy said I'm on vacation.
     
60. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-27 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-27 Pub. Date: 2018-07-27
Image Number: 173091
Caption: What are you thinking about, daddy? Life as a refugee, son. If our government ever turned fascist, no journalist would be safe. If I had to take you and flee … would I have any idea where proper checkpoints were to get into Canada? Or would I just head north and try to get in anywhere I could? And how would I feel if they grabbed you and put you in jail and mistreated you because I didn't save our lives properly? Oh. I thought you were thinking about jelly beans.
     
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