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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about children.

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201. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-08 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-08 Pub. Date: 2015-07-08
Image Number: 129283
Caption: Do you know what story you want daddy to read you tonight? Beaw. Daddy can't read you the bear book because you threw it out the window earlier today. Daddy told you, when you throw things away, they're not yours anymore. Thtop it! You can't make consequences go away by saying "stop it." Thtop it!!!
     
202. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-07 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-07 Pub. Date: 2015-07-07
Image Number: 129282
Caption: I love you. … I love you. I loooove you. Come on, little man, you can say it: I love you. Can you say "I love you"? Can you thay "cake"? Cake. Cake. Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.
     
203. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-30 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-30 Pub. Date: 2015-06-30
Image Number: 129037
Caption: An 11-year-old boy was playing in his yard for 90 minutes after the school bus dropped him off … because his parents were stuck in traffic and couldn't get home to let him in. They were thrown in jail, charged with a felony, and their kids were taken away. When you have for-profit prisons, there's a lot of incentive to fill them by any means necessary. I still say if your son's never had a peanut butter sandwich, go ahead and make him one. If he turns out to have an allergy, they'd probably charge me with attempted murder.
     
204. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-24 Pub. Date: 2015-06-24
Image Number: 128673
Caption: Studies show that teachers are more likely to harshly punish black students than they are white ones who do the same things. Even black teachers do it. How am I supposed to feel comfortable sending my baby boy out into the world when I know this sort of stuff happens? They done called me a "troublemaker" from day one. Didn't do me no harm. Maybe I'll home-school him til he's got his Ph.D. it was educational. I be in the principal office so much that I learned exactly where he keep his spare house keys.
     
205. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-23 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 2015-06-23
Image Number: 128672
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad … Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two. Do not lean on door.
     
206. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-18 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-18 Pub. Date: 2015-06-18
Image Number: 128379
Caption: How's your son, Lemont? He's great! "He's great"? That's it? I just don't want to be one of those dads who's always going on and on and on about his kid. I don't want people to get sick of hearing about him. That's why I try never to post more than 1 photo of him on Facebook per hour. That's thoughtful.
     
207. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-17 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-17 Pub. Date: 2015-06-17
Image Number: 128378
Caption: Hi, you don't know me, but your son was bullying mine at the playground today and you didn't make him apologize. Who is this? How did you get my phone number? I took a photo of you as you drove off, and uploaded it to Google image search which linked me to your blog. I got your number from your domain name registry. I'm pretty sure that's stalking. Keep letting your gargoyle push my son off the swings with impunity, and you'll find out about stalking.
     
208. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-14 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-14 Pub. Date: 2015-06-14
Image Number: 127781
Caption: Nobody could've known, back in 2003, that invading Iraq would be a bad idea. What're you talking about? Millions of people knew it. Millions of us. Millions of us said the reasons the Bush administration gave for invading sounded like flimsy nonsense. Not having WMDs was Saddam's plot to embarrass us. Daily Nutjob. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Goodnight Grandpa. Millions of us said it would cause a lot of unnecessary death, totally wreck the balance of power, cost us money we couldn't afford, create new enemies, and be a huge unmitigated disaster. It was entirely possible to know. Millions of us knew. General: Iraq would be stable if we had occupied it for only 75 more years. Well, nobody knew the people who knew were right to know what they knew. You know? No. ISIS destroys ancient ruins, erect statue of founding father Dick Cheney.
     
209. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-06 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-06 Pub. Date: 2015-06-06
Image Number: 127780
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm busy being too permissive with my child, which as you say will lead him to a life of crime. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done panhandling for his future bail money. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-04-27).
     
210. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-03 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-03 Pub. Date: 2015-06-03
Image Number: 127777
Caption: Don’t feel bad. It's normal to have these feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad parent as long as you don’t ACT on them. Dr. Noodle. I's normal to resent my own child for refusing to go to sleep till 4 A.M. every single day? Ph.D. Yes. Parents need some time to unwind at the end of the day. It's normal to imagine myself waiting till he does fall asleep, and then blowing a trumpet in his ear? Still normal. Ph. D. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-22).
     
211. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-01 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-01 Pub. Date: 2015-06-01
Image Number: 127775
Caption: Daddy was having a nice dream, son. What happened in it? I don’t know. I was awakened by the sound of springs breaking. When I looked at my clock, I saw that it was 3:17 A.M. Do you know what people are supposed to be doing at 3:17 A.M.? Ithn't thith one of the thingth you're thuppothed to tell me when I'm older? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-20).
     
212. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-28 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-28 Pub. Date: 2015-05-28
Image Number: 127503
Caption: I'm gonna give you a phone number. For whom? No, for mom. She's supposed to be getting me a new dad. But she's slacking. I'm don't have number down yet, so I wrote them all down as words. That's a bunch of squiggles.
     
213. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-25 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-25 Pub. Date: 2015-05-25
Image Number: 127500
Caption: Whatever you do, don't fall asleep. Your eyes are not getting heavy. I know. You're not the least bit tired. I know. Reverse-psychology doesn't work. I know.
     
214. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-22 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-22 Pub. Date: 2015-05-22
Image Number: 127175
Caption: I'm sorry, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Yesterday I accused you of stealing my wallet, ordering $800 worth of junk from Amazon, and lying about it. I cussed at you, threw a drink in your face, and called your momma a Sasquatch. Turns out it was my baby boy who took my wallet and went on Amazon. I'm so proud of him! He's only two and he already knows how to order 57 bags of rabbit food. Oh, oh, oh. So when he take yo' wallet, it's cute. When I take it, it's "grand larceny."
     
215. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-19 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-19 Pub. Date: 2015-05-19
Image Number: 127172
Caption: All week, I've been thinking about the people who got hurt in that train crash. Of course. You ride the train all the time. It's natural to feel fear when you realize it could just as easily have been your train. Times like this make it hard to ignore that your very next trip home may lead to you never seeing your child again. M.A. It's not about me. It's about them It's about identifying with them. Empathy is the most selfish emotion there is.
     
216. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-17 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-17 Pub. Date: 2015-05-17
Image Number: 126511
Caption: Anytime you think bad thoughts, son, you can fix it by thinking of the one thing in this world you love most. Macawoni and cheeth? I was thinking more along the lines of "daddy." Macawoni and cheeth.
     
217. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-11 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-11 Pub. Date: 2015-05-11
Image Number: 126616
Caption: Two Weeks Ago: America is celebrating a mother who was caught on video hitting her son in order to keep him from joining the Baltimore riot. Why is that, Chuck? Well, Chad, it's a well-known fact that black teens need to be beaten to make any lesson sink in. If she'd just taken him by the hand and marched him home, and lectured him privately, it wouldn't have registered in its brain. Um ... I mean, in his brain. Plus the rest of us wouldn't have gotten to enjoy it.
     
218. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-24 Pub. Date: 2015-04-24
Image Number: 125858
Caption: Remember how when we were kids, we'd be out playing for hours, by ourselves? Remember that construction site across the street? I used to hide behind mounds of dirt and pretend I was Luke Skywalker hiding from Sandpeople. I used to climb on the bulldozer and pretend it was an Imperial Walker. I still think you should let your little boy have a little more freedom. And let him get crushed by bulldozers? Are you insane?
     
219. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-27 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-27 Pub. Date: 2015-03-27
Image Number: 124645
Caption: Tyrone, in all the decades we've known each other, I've never once heard you sing. I sing all the time, Rosencrantz. When I see a child smile, my heart sings. When I find a tasty burger in the dumpster, my taste buds sing. Those who sing on the inside don't have to sing on the outside. Lean on me ... when you're not strong, I'll be your ... Stop being an exhibitionist. Spare change?
     
220. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-24 Pub. Date: 2015-03-24
Image Number: 124642
Caption: Hey. Lemont. Where's you boy Lionel? "Excuse me." Huh? When you want to get a grow-ups attention, Malcolm, you don't say "hey." You say "excuse me." No, I say "hey." Weren't you listening?
     
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