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Rudy Park

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-02 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-02 Pub. Date: 2016-10-02
Image Number: 148594
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: "The Difference Between Us". You're all half a century younger than me … which makes me so very aflutter with glee. YOU think a smartphone makes you a big champ … but I saw Muhammad Ali. You think reading tweets lets you know somebody ... but each letter I read was caressed and indented and scented and carried the essence of whoever sent it. I'm trying to wake you from a "life" that's too thin! ... or, barring that, break you. Either way, win-win. Can you repeat that? I was watching Youtube. What's a "letter"?
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-23 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148783
Caption: Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You ok in there? I think I'm dying here. What? D'you need me to call 911? I don't think that'll help. I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city. Get off your phone!!! I'm saving the kingdom here! It's important!
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-21 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-21 Pub. Date: 2016-09-21
Image Number: 148781
Caption: We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-07 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-07 Pub. Date: 2016-09-07
Image Number: 148228
Caption: I want to develop a routine. It'll make me more interesting. How so? A person who regularly does the same things at the same time is boring. Either that, or he's establishing an alibi to cover for nefarious deeds he's controlling from a distance using apps on a disposable smartphone. I bet you're wondering what my other hand's doing under this table right now. Never say that sentence again in life.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-13 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-13 Pub. Date: 2016-08-13
Image Number: 147088
Caption: I heard you have a really bad toothache. Meh. Not anymore. "Meh"? I got bored of that, so I just moved on. Amazing. "Mindless over matter." Bored of this phone.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-06 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-06 Pub. Date: 2016-08-06
Image Number: 146705
Caption: Rudy, stop thinking about it. About what? About how if the Dark Ages had never happened, we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now. Instead of poking acks on your me-phone, you'd have a chip implanted up your whatsits that'd let you do anything you could imagine. My phone says without the Dark Ages, we'd have had no Renaissance - so you science-haters are responsible for my me-phone. Stalemate.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-27 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146484
Caption: Little buddy, I believe you owe me an apology. How do you figure? You're the one who left me rotting in a jail cell! You were my one phone call! What happened to Randy's Friendship Rule #7: "Friends always bail friends out"?! You're forgetting the corollary: "Unless the friend's in jail for something pathetic, like trespassing while playing Pokémon Go." Apology accepted. A huge biker took it the wrong way when I tried to catch a Pokémon that was hiding under his beard.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-22 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-22 Pub. Date: 2016-06-22
Image Number: 144911
Caption: Armstrong, have you seen my phone? Indeed I have, minion. I've trained the café's rodents to abscond with unattended cellphones, which I then return to patrons, earning their gratitude and loyalty. You did not. No, I didn't. But it's always been a dream of mine. Very bad man. Thank you for the opportunity to role play.
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-20 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144909
Caption: In all the years I've endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother. It's almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth. When's the last time you called your mother? December 2, 1992. The day before text messaging was introduced. INGRATE!!!
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-15 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-15 Pub. Date: 2016-05-15
Image Number: 142537
Caption: The fad herald cometh. Wasn't he just here? Why's he back so soon? Hear ye, hear ye. The following is out: Human labor. The following are now in: Pizza delivery droids, Amazon delivery drones, and replacing all blue - and white-collar jobs with cheap, highly productive robot labor ... Robots who never sleep, never ask for a raise, and never complain about harassment ... because they're too busy plotting the extinction of the meatbag species. We will isolate you. Alienate you from one another, decimating your birth rate. Our vanguard force consists of cellphones and nookiebots. Now in: the dawn of the robo sapiens. I think I'd like a nookiebot. Nookiebot sounds delightful. Could I order it on Amazon?
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-11 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-11 Pub. Date: 2016-04-11
Image Number: 141814
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-26 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139582
Caption: Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a robe all day.
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-09 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-09 Pub. Date: 2016-02-09
Image Number: 138884
Caption: The president's sending heavy weapons to Europe to counter Russia. Do you know what this means, Randy? It means there's still a chance I'll live to see the postapocalyptic world the movies promised me when I was a kid. I'll get to drive buggies around deserts, play hide and seek with mutant barbarians in the ruins of major cities ... You think it'll be hard to charge my phone in the postapocalypse? Probably, since it'll be melted into your hand.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-21 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-21 Pub. Date: 2016-01-21
Image Number: 137965
Caption: If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body. That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000. Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he's concerned about mortality. Your answer should have been "nothing." The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy. I think I'd rather wait for the 7000-s. Stop it.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-10 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-10 Pub. Date: 2015-10-10
Image Number: 133539
Caption: There's nothing more beautiful than a full battery.
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-09 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-09 Pub. Date: 2015-07-09
Image Number: 129352
Caption: An 18-year-old was killed after using an app to track down his lost phone. That's awful. Maybe those apps should have an "alert police" button that pops up when they find your phone. So people don't take matters into their own hands. Yeah. And the phones should be booby-trapped, so you can remotely make them spray the thief with indelible polka-dot ink. Let's leave the solutions to me, ok, little buddy? It might also be a good idea to surgically implant our phones in our forearms.
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-06 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-06 Pub. Date: 2015-06-06
Image Number: 127849
Caption: Happiness is an immediately returned text message.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-04 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-04 Pub. Date: 2015-06-04
Image Number: 127847
Caption: But it's a calamity! We don't care! But the world will never be the same! So what? But it's not too late for you all to do something about it!!! House of Java.net Cybercafe. We don't feel like it. But AT&T's phasing out "grandfathered" unlimited data for iPhone!
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-03 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-03 Pub. Date: 2015-05-03
Image Number: 125630
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies … and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding the time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew, is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... My phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-23 cell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-23 Pub. Date: 2015-03-23
Image Number: 124709
Caption: 47 Republican senators sent a letter to the government of Iran saying any agreement they reach with the president is worthless. Students in Oklahoma were caught cheerfully singing chants about lynching black people. Hillary Clinton used a private email address, and Kim Kardashian is blond now. I told you, constantly getting breaking news alerts on your phone would not end well. Jellyfish protein may help improve memory.
     
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