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Candorville

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Result page:     (18 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-26 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-26 Pub. Date: 2019-08-26
Image Number: 179191
Caption: Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? That was weeks ago. Exactly. A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date. A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion. Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels. A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-08 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-08 Pub. Date: 2018-12-08
Image Number: 175267
Caption: I'd really like it if just once I could enjoy the holidays. On Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, I can't help but be angry that Emperor Augustus deported the Bethlehemians. On Easter, when people celebrate the resurrection, I can't help but mourn all the people Rome crucified. Bethlehemians? Don't even get me started on Kwanzaa.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-06 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-06 Pub. Date: 2018-12-06
Image Number: 175265
Caption: I read your article about Thanksgiving. Yeah? Yeah. I think you're right that we should turn it from a day of celebration into a national day of mourning … when we reflect on the cultures and the millions of lives settlers destroyed when they founded this nation. I'm not sure about the name Mourngiving, though. I am.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-05 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-05 Pub. Date: 2018-12-05
Image Number: 175264
Caption: We forgot something at the Thanksgiving party the other week. Whachoo-mean? We forgot to not have one. It celebrates a false creation myth that we tell ourselves so we can forget that what really happened was a massive genocide. This is why we never let you say the toast, Lemont. There shouldn't have been a toast. I guess it a coincidence you only sayin' all this after you finally run out of leftovers.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-25 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-25 Pub. Date: 2017-12-25
Image Number: 166533
Caption: Merry Christmas … Yeah, I said it. Put that in your secularist pipe and smoke it. #LOL! #Youlose. Bet that really gets you upset, doesn't it? Not really. I love Christmas. I'm having a Christmas party tonight. My little boy's going to be an elf. I'm going to be Rudolph the Reindeer. Yeah, right. Like I believe that ... Would you like to come? Yes ... I mean, someone has to prove your "party" is a ruse!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-02 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-02 Pub. Date: 2017-10-02
Image Number: 163370
Caption: Thank god the GOP has given up trying to take health care away from millions of people. No they haven't. Trying-to-repeal-Obamacare has become a tradition, like celebrating-holidays-by-not-thinking-about-why-we-have-a-day-off-and-just-barbecuing has become a tradition. I've stocked up on hot dog buns and beer for the next repeal day. You-not-letting-me-enjoy-the-moment has become a tradition.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-10 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-10 Pub. Date: 2014-01-10
Image Number: 105923
Caption: Remember the New Year's party? Yeah, I do. That means I'm getting old, Susan. When we were in college, New Year's parties were really wild. Cops had to be called. Everyone drank way too much to remember anything. It was really rowdy. … Theoretically speaking. You didn't do any of that stuff, Lemont. Not technically. But I was the same age as people who did, so it's like I did.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-23 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-23 Pub. Date: 2013-12-23
Image Number: 105427
Caption: Merry Christmas, Tyrone. How dare you! Everyone knows Jesus wasn't born in December. Everyone knows the roman pagans celebrated SATURNALIA every December 17-23, and "Christmas" was the church's attempt to win those pagans over to Christianity by promising them they could still PARTY every December. You, sir, are engaged in a WAR ON SATURNALIA! I want to get a Christmas tree. That's just a ripoff of the SATURNALIA HEAD-ON-A-PIKE!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-27 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-27 Pub. Date: 2012-12-27
Image Number: 91455
Caption: It might just be indigestion. What did you have for the holidays? For the holidays? I had hanuchrisnakwanzadan. Celebrating everything maximizes a brutha's gift-receiving potential. I meant what did you eat for the holidays? Kosher turkey latkes and ham hock falafels.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-21 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-21 Pub. Date: 2010-12-21
Image Number: 55456
Caption: I was really only helping Clyde find a Christmas tree. I've already got my Christmas pen. Your what? The whole decorating-a-Christmas-tree thing always struck me as kind of … Pagan. I think it's more appropriate to celebrate the great author in the sky by decorating a pen or a pencil. Dios mio. I'm gonna put this star on the top.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-24 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-24 Pub. Date: 2010-08-24
Image Number: 51237
Caption: All she ever did was worry about her weight, and men, and her mom. Happy Retirement Cathy. I swear, she set the cause of feminism back by years. Decades! … by voicing the same anxieties I'm afraid to acknowledge because I think it'll make me seem weak. Good riddance! I'll miss her.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-23 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-23 Pub. Date: 2010-08-23
Image Number: 51236
Caption: Meanwhile … at the Chronicle … Why aren't you at Cathy's retirement party, sir? She's been here 34 years you ought to go pay your respects. You served fat-free ice cream? Why did you serve fat-free ice cream? There's only room for one of us under here, Olsen. You're on your own. Are you trying to tell me something?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-21 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-21 Pub. Date: 2007-06-21
Image Number: 17671
Caption: It's Black music month. Black History Month I understand, but… yeah, that's cool. Don't we have twelve Black music months? Very cool. Yeah, Black music's everywhere. Hip-hop, R&B… and rappers get all kinds of recognition. Cough. Makes no sense. A-hem. None at all, dawg.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-02 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-03-02
Image Number: 16389
Caption: "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." I've had it since I was ten. It literally covers every contingency. Literally? Check out page 18,987. "Fox News' satire show -- Barack Obama Skit -- Time Index 01:37… "…titled 'Barack vs. Tiger Woods: Who's More Diverse?' -- is actually a celebration of diversity."
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-14 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-18 Pub. Date: 2006-07-14
Image Number: 14174
Caption: Most writers would got out to celebrate finally getting published, but not me. The universe has a way of smackin' you down if you get too high, Susan. Going out to celebrate would tempt fate. Going out would jinx all my good fortune. Wanna go -- I'll get me coat.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-02 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-03 Pub. Date: 2006-01-02
Image Number: 12644
Caption: Dear Churchgoers, Are you aware that secularists recently tried to remove Jesus from New Year's celebrations? In fact, they have done their best to convince us that Jesus was never a part of New Year's celebrations in the first place. The next time someone tells you "Happy New Year," remind them that the phrase has always been "Happy New Savior..." and send in you large donation to help us fight for New Year Jesus. Sincerely, Rev. Wilfred W. Wilfred
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-07-04 celebration 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-07-06 Pub. Date: 2005-07-04
Image Number: 10871
Caption: Made in China. (Flag being flown at a Fourth of July bar-b-que has been made in China.)
     
Result page:     (18 images)