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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about cats.

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Result page:    2   (20 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-20 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 150125
Caption: Melania is Mad. I am hating on thees Beely Boosh! He ees make thee bad veedeeo of my hoosbin, saying thee bad theengs. My hoosbin is like a little boy. Sometimes he theenks he ees een the locker room at hees school weeth these other leetle boys. So they are talkeeng about many theengs. Sometimes they talk about thee poosee? Poor leetle poosee. What! Dammit! Do I have to do everything abour here? Feed the dog? Feed the cat? Clean the pool ...
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-09 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 149800
Caption: Creepy Clown. We didn't know about creepy clowns! We had no idea! Help. Snacks. Campaign buttons. Campaign flyers. Cat food. Make him disappear.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-08 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-08 Pub. Date: 2016-10-08
Image Number: 149770
Caption: I can explain.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-23 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-23 Pub. Date: 2016-07-23
Image Number: 146436
Caption: Herding Cats in Cleveland. Bump! Dump! Lump! Help! Ted. Lock somebody up.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-03-01 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-03-01 Pub. Date: 2016-03-01
Image Number: 140465
Caption: Rubio Apologizes for Anti-Trump Comments. Reactions Differ. I'm sorry That's ok I still love you Don't worry Let's go for a walk Idiot.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-04 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-04 Pub. Date: 2015-08-04
Image Number: 130778
Caption: Dentists Everywhere Ashamed by the Killer of Cecil the Lion. That's ok, doctor, I forgive you Oh, thank you I mean, that poor little fellah, just a big pussy cat, and then shot by wah
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-17 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-17 Pub. Date: 2015-03-17
Image Number: 124553
Caption: Putin Returns After Being Missing for Over a Week. Look mother, it is our beloved Pootin, come back to us! Pooty-cat! We were so worried! Where have you been? Shut up you peasant swine. Where's my food?
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-14 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-14 Pub. Date: 2015-03-14
Image Number: 124461
Caption: Recently Retrieved Yoga Positions on Hillary Clinton's Personal Phone. The Downward Peeking Dog or the Modified Chappaqua. The Flying Mortal Triangle or Who Whacked Vince? The Boat or Floating Down Whitewater. The Cat-Cow Position or the Benghazi Hairball. Clinton 2016. The Caucus Twist or Aid to Iowa Farmers, Yes! The Bird of Paradise or Biden Who? The Reverse Logic or Next Question. The Secret Phone Call or My Name is Hillary and I'll Be Your Server.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-12-14 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-12-14 Pub. Date: 2014-12-14
Image Number: 121635
Caption: Mr. Boehner herding repbulicans. Everybody remember: I have the cat food and I have the can opener.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-10-06 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-10-06 Pub. Date: 2014-10-06
Image Number: 117795
Caption: The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon.... When you comin' home son ... I don't know when but we'll get together then, Dad. We're gonna have a good time then ... Rand 2016. Ace Movers Dallas. Ron Paul. Still (crazy) after all these years. Rand Paul. In your heart you know he's um ... well hmmm, good question.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-09-14 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 116645
Caption: Palin Family Fights Its Way Our of Snowmobile Club Brawl. Amazingly no video available. Left to right more or less, Todd, nearly vice-president Sarah, Pistol, Jello, Flack, and at top, that turkey guy. (Missing, John McCain). Arctic Cat. Yamaha. Kawasaki. Polaris. $ Mom. Kilroy was here. Ed's Snow Machines. Ski-Doo.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-18 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-18 Pub. Date: 2013-11-18
Image Number: 104195
Caption: The Annotated Cheney Family Thanksgiving 2013. Heather Poe, also known as the one responsible for all this mess who beguiled Mary Cheney into a life of sin and depredation (in some states) recently revealed to be related distantly to whatshisname Edgar Allen and possibly a black cat.* Lynn Cheney (the mother) seen here preparing the dinner. Known for political opinions to the right of Eva Braun, but now really too old to care any more. Liz Cheney, candidate for the US Senate under the misguided notion that the people in Wyoming are stupid and not paying attention. She has told them forty thousand times that she is a Wyoming person who sleeps with her horse. But they think she is from Washington D.C. because she is. I (heart) Wyoming. Vote for another CHENEY or go ______ yourself. Dick Cheney, federally insured heart patient, seen here self-medicating with his secret wife Scooter Libby. George W. Bush, former vice-president of the United States (correction - President of the United States) (well, you know) and family friend, invited for dinner, but restricted to pretzels, and silence. Mary Cheney, a happily married (she says) woman who seems bent on running her sister's campaign for the US Senate. *for the love of God, Montressor!
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-16 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-16 Pub. Date: 2013-07-16
Image Number: 99504
Caption: Senator Warren Goes After Wall Street. Meee-owwwww! Oh, smarty, eh? One thin I can't stand is a smart mouse!
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-30 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-30 Pub. Date: 2013-01-30
Image Number: 92991
Caption: Report Says Cats Are Natural Born Killer, and Kill Millions of Small Animals. Oh, that's silly. Mister Whiskers here would never kill anyone, would you, Mister Whiskers? Hmmm let's see if I weighed another hundred pounds Old 12 percent.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-03 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-03 Pub. Date: 2013-01-03
Image Number: 91919
Caption: New Kansas ordinance outlaws more than four cats per household. Arrests expected soon. All right ... who's the rat?
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-25 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-25 Pub. Date: 2012-09-25
Image Number: 87940
Caption: Fox's Gretchen "Scoop" Carlson, with Breaking News. Black Panther! Vote here. Bad polls or fire. Your message here. Call Rupert.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-05-09 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-05-10 Pub. Date: 2012-05-09
Image Number: 80865
Caption: Heard The Latest? Mitt Romney Saved Detroit! Yup! That's right! Now it can be told, 'cause I just thought of it. I recommended that Detroit go bankrupt, but I knew that if it did with a managed bankrupt thing which I also just thought of, then everything would get better and sure enough that's what Obama did. That copy cat, and so it was me who saved your job, so ... All the news that's Mitt to print!
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-01-17 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-01-17 Pub. Date: 2011-01-17
Image Number: 56463
Caption: Nice Kitty. China.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-07 cat 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-07 Pub. Date: 2010-05-07
Image Number: 50454
Caption: BAD Pussy Cat! Members New York Stock Exchange. Buy. Sell. Number of shares 600000000000000.
     
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