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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-07-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-22 |
| Image Number: |
160085 |
| Caption: |
Hey, Nelson. How'd you like to earn some money? Yeah! Great. I'll give you a dollar to clean Muffin's litter box for me. But I don't know how to do that. It's easy. Just take this scooper and pretend you're on a treasure hunt.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dave Coverly |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Speed Bump |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-07-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-18 |
| Image Number: |
160382 |
| Caption: |
Arr, mateys, there be treasure buried in this sand. Kitty litter.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
John Deering |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Strange Brew |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-07-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-11 |
| Image Number: |
160232 |
| Caption: |
Having finally excavated under The Sphinx and discovered an enormous litter box, let's just say some mysteries are better left unsolved.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dan Piraro |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Bizarro |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-07-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-11 |
| Image Number: |
160032 |
| Caption: |
Hey! I love the smell of your zen garden.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
John Deering |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Strange Brew |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-07-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-07-07 |
| Image Number: |
160001 |
| Caption: |
Look, Minnie! While you were next door, somebody delivered this free condo for us! This end up.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Hilary Price |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rhymes with Orange |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-04-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-04-02 |
| Image Number: |
155772 |
| Caption: |
Maybe no on the quick-clumping litter.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Jeff Danziger |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-03-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-03-25 |
| Image Number: |
156369 |
| Caption: |
Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Jim Toomey |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Sherman's Lagoon |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-01-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-01-28 |
| Image Number: |
153545 |
| Caption: |
Look, dad, I got a pet catfish. Awww! How cute! Well, I suppose we'll need to get him some food, and a litter box … and a water bowl, and a collar … and a cell phone. Nice try.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
John Hambrock |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-12-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-12-11 |
| Image Number: |
151437 |
| Caption: |
Tis the holiday shopping season. Let's take a peek around town and see what gifts folks are considering for their loved ones. Councilman Otis Parker eyes a set of men's titanium golf clubs for his wife. Perhaps she'd let him borrow them now and then. Looks like one lucky kitty might be in for a big surprise this year: A Trump Cat Tower complete with a 24-carat solid gold litter box. Pet Store ... ump. Checking in at Rollet's Department Store, we find the Crandall's contemplating comfy sleepwear for each other. And, of course, we have the Lee family. Um ... you guys wait out here. I'll just be a minute. The Santa Sweater Store.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dan Piraro |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Bizarro |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-10-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-10-23 |
| Image Number: |
149357 |
| Caption: |
The sign says "Pet Shop," sir. What did you expect. Pet Shop. Pet Stench. Premium pet products. Pet Stench. Cat Food. City Blend. 100% ground pigeons and rats. Pet Stench. Dog Food. Cat Candy Flavor. 100% litter box. King Pooch Femur Facsimile. Give. Poosh.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-10-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-10-22 |
| Image Number: |
149415 |
| Caption: |
I don't think my brother is your sister's type. Why? What's wrong with your brother? He doesn't clean himself with his tongue or use a litter box. Okay! So Pearl has a few cats!! Fifteen at last count.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-08-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-08-31 |
| Image Number: |
147670 |
| Caption: |
Sorry … I thought this was a suggestion box. Attila. |
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Lester |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mike du Jour |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-07-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-07-17 |
| Image Number: |
144669 |
| Caption: |
A line drive!! It's in the gap!! Run!! Keykat run!! She's rounding second!! She's rounding third!! Headed for home!!! Up. You're out!!! Smack! And that's why you never see "cats playing softball" videos. |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dan Piraro |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Bizarro |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-06-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-06-09 |
| Image Number: |
143979 |
| Caption: |
Is this a gesture of solidarity, or is there something else you're trying to tell me? |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Hilary Price |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rhymes with Orange |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-05-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-05-30 |
| Image Number: |
143746 |
| Caption: |
Memorial Day Traditions. So much nicer than the laundry room … The raking, the fluffing, the landscaping with tomato plants - you know it's summer when she sets up my outdoor box. |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Lester |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mike du Jour |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-05-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-05-11 |
| Image Number: |
143029 |
| Caption: |
I've got all the pieces to the grill. I'll just set the crate over … Shoop! Here. |
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Lester |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mike du Jour |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-02-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-02-18 |
| Image Number: |
139243 |
| Caption: |
Minnie, you and key kat are not getting a box of wine. Why not? Because dogs and cats don't drink wine. That's what you said about yoga. Namaste, dude. |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-02-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-02-10 |
| Image Number: |
138309 |
| Caption: |
Grimm? Litter box. Relax, I'm just doing this until it gets warmer outside. |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-01-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-01-19 |
| Image Number: |
137418 |
| Caption: |
Says here houseflies thrive on musty, foul-smelling environments. Yeah? The more ideal the conditions, the bigger they grow. So? So get your litter box off my table. Oh sorry. Burp. Litter box. |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dan Piraro |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Bizarro |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-01-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-01-16 |
| Image Number: |
137374 |
| Caption: |
Mommy says that when she was little, children were encouraged to play in these public litter boxes. Playground. |
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