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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about cars.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-23 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-23 Pub. Date: 2019-07-23
Image Number: 178670
Caption: What are you so happy about, Lemont? Well, this morning Lionel and I had breakfast at Pancake-ville. When it came time to calculate a tip, I asked my phone What's 22% of $22.22? and my phone told me. That's when it occurred to me, we're living in the future! We have electric cars, drones, instant knowledge at our fingertips ... It's the future I've dreamt of my entire life! (Sigh) ... you always did hate math. Only in the future can a man track down his old math teacher on Facebook and gloat.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-11 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-11 Pub. Date: 2019-06-11
Image Number: 178021
Caption: I was standing by my car when some lady poked me in my bottom. You don't have no car, Big L. If one part of your story a lie, then can't nothin' 'bout the rest of the story be trusted. It's called an Uber, Clyde. No, it's called goosing. What? What?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-13 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-13 Pub. Date: 2019-05-13
Image Number: 177620
Caption: Did you see the new Sandra Bland video? The police found it on her phone two months after she died and hid it for four years. I still can't believe that cop flipped out on her like that after stopping her for a turn signal. It's just not safe for us out there. Happen all the time, Big L. That's why I started that GoFundMe. Black people aren't going to give you money to build escape-catapult seats for our cars. Already got 52,000 orders.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-12 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175741
Caption: This country's overrun with people who hate talking about racism more than they hate racism itself. I wrote an article about a breaking story. I called it White Man in a Pickup Truck Shoots into Black Family's Car, Kills Seven-Year-Old. Hundreds of people replied Why do you have to bring race into it? Bet they came up with all kinds of excuses. On of them said Some pickup-truck drivers just really don't like cars.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-20 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-20 Pub. Date: 2018-11-20
Image Number: 175064
Caption: 1982. Do you ever get claustrophobic, Lemont? What's claustrophobic? I think it's the fear of tight spaces. It's why mama won't fly, or ride the bus, or ride in a car. She walks everywhere. That makes no sense. That should be tight-space-a-phobic. Claustrophobic should mean something else, like a fear of bear claws. Or a fear of Santa Claus. We should make up our own language. What kind of word is language? It should be talkuage.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-17 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-17 Pub. Date: 2018-11-17
Image Number: 174940
Caption: I was on the bus the other day, an' two dudes got to talking 'bout bein' 5150'd. One of them said 5150 is when the police haul you in 'cause you a danger to yourself, but 5250 is when you a danger to others. Other dude said Nah, 5250 just mean they get to lock you up in a hospital longer. First dude called second one started throwin' hands. Second dude turned out to be right. The bus cop who arrested him said No, this ain't no 5250, this here a 242, I'm thinking of a getting a car.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-10 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171944
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-29 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-29 Pub. Date: 2018-01-29
Image Number: 167917
Caption: Did you know Youtube is a treasure trove of historic interviews? Last night, I watched Texas Governor John Connally speak. He was in his hospital bed, just days after the and John F. Kennedy were shot in Dallas. He recounted what happened, what was said in the car just before and during the assassination ... and at the end he gave an ominous warning about division in America, and he appealed for tolerance and togetherness. All the commenters agreed he was a little too eloquent, so he must've been in on it. Well, it's good that be brought people together.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-09 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-09 Pub. Date: 2017-12-09
Image Number: 165708
Caption: Clyde, I did some investigating, and I don't think Doctor Seuss said that quote you attributed to him. A variation of don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened has also been attributed to Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ludwig Jacobowski … and that brother Big Oatmeal down my the car wash. Don't attribute a quote to someone until you've googled it. Abraham Lincoln said that. You googled all that jus' so you could tell that joke. Admit it.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-02 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-02 Pub. Date: 2017-12-02
Image Number: 165422
Caption: There's a lot of bad news. It's making me a little depressed. C-Dogs Incredibly Bad Advice $2. That one easy, bruh. Ere'time you hear news you don't like, call it "fake." They say someone you like did wrong? Must be fake. They say your car cause pollution? Must be fake. They say you got cancer. Fake fake fake. The ancient Buddhists say reality all in our heads, or some spit like that there. I'll give it a try.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-19 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-19 Pub. Date: 2017-10-19
Image Number: 163905
Caption: I'm tired of liberals using every mass shooting as an excuse to talk about having more gun regulations. Cars kill far more people than guns! Booze kills more people than gun! Tobacco kills more people than guns! Medical malpractice kills a lot more people than guns! You know that's why we regulate the heck out of all those things, right? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-14 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 149613
Caption: I finally ran into Vancouver at a party that night. One thing led to another … and we found ourselves parked in her car at 2am on a bluff overlooking the moonlit ocean. It was magical. It felt as if the earth was no bigger than that car, that we were the only two people on it, and it was moving beneath our feet. Turns our we'd forgotten to set the parking break. We rolled downhill into a police car.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-04 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-04 Pub. Date: 2016-10-04
Image Number: 149307
Caption: 1982. Do you ever get claustrophobic, Lemont? What's "claustrophobic"? I think it's the fear of tight spaces. It's why mama won't fly, or ride the bus, or ride in a car. She walks everywhere. That makes no sense. That should be "tight-space-a-phobic." Claustrophobic should mean something else, like a fear of bear claws. Or a fear of Santa Claus. We should make up our own language. What kind of word is "language?" It should be "talkuage."
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-25 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-25 Pub. Date: 2016-08-25
Image Number: 147665
Caption: C-Dog don't never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then when I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't dream things can be better, then I ain't never disappointed. I know what you mean. Last night I dreamt you weren't depressing.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-14 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-14 Pub. Date: 2016-06-14
Image Number: 144563
Caption: Mr. Trump, you said the judge presiding over your fake university trial can't do his job impartially because he's "Mexican" and you've offended Mexicans. You also say Muslim judges could "absolutely" be biased because you've offended Muslims. But you've offended pretty much everyone other than white, right-handed Appalachian car mechanics' pet zebras ... and he doesn't have any judicial experience. No, but he's never treated me unfairly.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-27 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-27 Pub. Date: 2016-05-27
Image Number: 143641
Caption: It's too bad the National Cartoonists Society's awards ceremony happens to be in Memphis tomorrow. Tennessee just passed a law allowing therapists to discriminate against lesbian, gay, and transgender people. So now these hundreds of cartoonists are going to be basically supporting a new Jim Crow state. Every hamburger will have segregation sauce. Every glass of booze will be a glass of separate-but-equal. Every Snickers they pull from the minibar will taste of nougaty injustice. I'm getting very hungry.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-15 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140510
Caption: The past couple years, I've been rejected for a mortgage, a car loan, a credit card, a Macy's card, Girl Scout cookies … How is it that identity thieves were just able to open six credit cards in my name, Clyde? Maybe I should get you to teach me how to steal my own identity. (A) I'm offended you assume I know how to do that ... an' (2) here's how you do it ...
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-26 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-26 Pub. Date: 2015-12-26
Image Number: 136833
Caption: What do you see up there, Susan? I see a drone looking into somebody's 30th-floor bedroom window. That's awfully specific. Usually you just see a dinosaur. Or a car … Oh. Stupid 21st century.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-04 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-04 Pub. Date: 2015-12-04
Image Number: 135927
Caption: Son, your daddy met a woman he likes a lot. What would you think if he started bringing her around to meet you? Ith the woman mommy? No, son, she's not mommy. She's someone else. Doth the woman wike to pway cawth? Yes, son. I'm sure the woman would like to play cars. How do you know? Have you pwayed cawth with her? I'll answer that when you're much older. The woman theemth actheptable.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-03 car 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-03 Pub. Date: 2015-12-03
Image Number: 135926
Caption: We never talk about the finer things. Who's your favorite artist, Clyde? That'd be "Big Oatmeal," down by the car wash. Brutha be spray-paintin' all over them t-shirts he sell. The art he be spittin' would take a brutha's breath away. No, I mean out of all of history's great artists which one's your favorite? The one who could paint my momma picture on a t-shirt for $4.95.
     
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