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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about butts and butting.

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-12 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-12 Pub. Date: 2015-08-12
Image Number: 131220
Caption: Mr. Trump, our research department says the only thing you could do to get more attention is to draw smiley faces in lipstick on your butt and run naked down Broadway waving American flags. Ok … Your style. Computers. TKTS. Sony. Broadway. 47 St. Don't even think. Hot dogs $16. NYC. News.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-30 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-30 Pub. Date: 2012-09-30
Image Number: 88154
Caption: Mr. Netanyahu's Red Line for Americans. Your butt here.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-03-15 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-03-15 Pub. Date: 2012-03-15
Image Number: 77796
Caption: Mr. McConnell and Mr. Boehner Look to the Future. I know I said our most important job was to stop Obama from being re-elected in 2012. That's right, you idiot, now we look like failures … Now we must not concede that it might not happen that way … Romney? Santorum? Newt? My God! We're going to get thrown out on out butts ... Bang! Bang! So we must look to the future ... Our new plan is ... Future? What future? Hey! Can I get a top-up over here? Waggle - waggle. We must make sure he doesn't get re-elected in 2016. Hey! Over here! Is this a bar or a girl scout camp? We're plannin' the future, yo - Waggle! Clink!
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-28 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-28 Pub. Date: 2011-07-28
Image Number: 63857
Caption: Messrs. Coburn, Boehner, and McCain, Tea Party Poopers. Ok, say good-bye to the punch bowl … Listen, you better get your ass in line! Yeah! You Hobbit!
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-10-08 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-10-08 Pub. Date: 2010-10-08
Image Number: 53018
Caption: Actors all bummed out. GOP pulls ad where they play "hicky" West Virginia voters. Dammit! I busted my butt for that part. I put on about thirty pounds. I worked on my "hicky" accent. I cut my hair. I bought a John Deere hat. I mean, who the hell is John Deere, anyway? What's he running for? Well, I would have voted for him. You had me convinced. Fred Thompson School of Acting.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-30 butt 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-30 Pub. Date: 2010-05-30
Image Number: 50472
Caption: Chinese Communism Through the Years. Workers of the world! Unite! Workers of the world … uh … Workers! Workers of Honda and Apple! Get your lazy butts back to work before we set the dogs on you! Strike.
     
Result page:     (7 images)