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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about birthdays.

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-15 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-15 Pub. Date: 2018-08-15
Image Number: 173501
Caption: So then I climbed out of the air duct to interview the little refugee. I was four, but now I'm five. It was my birthday. There was something off about his story. Two army men with bayonets put us on a train. We got to ride it for four whole days. Were you scared when they took you from your parents? They didn't. We're all here. We get to stand in line for food together. We get to see the machine guns pointing at us together. Veteran journalist that I am, I didn't jump to any wild conclusions. What year is this? Is this 1942? This is 1942, isn't it. We get to say the pledge of allegiance every day together ...
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-01 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-01 Pub. Date: 2018-08-01
Image Number: 173242
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The nose said This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia. That florist is the worst.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-31 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-31 Pub. Date: 2018-07-31
Image Number: 173241
Caption: Dick? I want you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. What do you mean am I sure that's a good idea? Look, Dick Fink, you're my assistant. Every single time I ask you to do something, you ask if I'm sure that's a good idea. Enough. That doesn't assist me. Yes, I'm sure it doesn't assist m - just order the stupid plant! Ok ... if you're sure.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-23 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-23 Pub. Date: 2018-06-23
Image Number: 172359
Caption: I'm an accomplished writer, Susan. I don't tiptoe around the big issues. I've won awards for that. How could they reject me? You wrote "I love you so much that when you were a toddler and you choked on your own vomit … I dug it out of your mouth with my own hand without even thinking about it ... Happy birthday. That's real love. You'd think Hallmark would know that the country's in the mood for authenticity.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-13 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-13 Pub. Date: 2018-02-13
Image Number: 168414
Caption: 1982. Did you get Superman for your birthday. Sort of. I should've been more specific. Momma gave me a video called Abar: The First Black Superman. Instead of fighting Lex Luthor, Abar the first black Superman fights housing discrimination. You should ask your momma to exchange it. I did. She said When it comes to black superheroes, it's slim pickings, whatever that means.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-18 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163904
Caption: Sometimes I think "baby brain" is a real thing, Susan. Ever since I won custody of my son, I've been forgetting things. I've forgotten what I had for breakfast … I've forgotten whether I took a shower today … I can't believe you're blaming forgetting my birthday on your two-year-old kid. What are we talking about?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-13 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163632
Caption: Rosencrantz, do you believe every exit is an entrance to somewhere new? I once believed such a thing, until I encountered a revolving doorway and realized it was possible for me to both exit and enter the same place at once. My eyes were suddenly opened to the thought that opposites are the same. Entering, exiting ... action, inaction ... Forgetting your companion's birthday and remembering it ... I'm still hurt, Tyrone.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-24 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-24 Pub. Date: 2017-08-24
Image Number: 161803
Caption: Hey Susan, did you get that evite from Clyde? Which one? The evite to his birthday party where he wrote "in lieu of gifts, bring a shovel and wear your work pants"? No. The evite to his housewarming party at his underground bunker? No. I've been ignoring his evites for months now. Ever since Trump won, they've been getting more and more cynical. I'm talking about his evite to watch the upcoming race war on his tv.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-28 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-28 Pub. Date: 2017-04-28
Image Number: 157288
Caption: Where've you been, Boo? I haven't seen you in weeks. I understand that you need a lot of "me time," and it's totally cool that you like to do your own thing. But tomorrow's my mom's birthday and I'd like you to go with us to the spa, and then shopping and maybe to the antique fair. I'd love for her to get to know you like I do. There go that noise again.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-13 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155652
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "if you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed. Time.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-06 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-06 Pub. Date: 2016-07-06
Image Number: 145504
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning, I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The note said "This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia." That florist is the worst.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-05 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-05 Pub. Date: 2016-07-05
Image Number: 145503
Caption: Dick? I want you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. What do you mean am I sure that's a good idea? Look, Dick Fink, you're my assistant. Every single time I ask you to do something, you ask if I'm "sure that's a good idea." Enough. That doesn't assist me. Yes, I'm sure it doesn't assist m - just order the stupid plant! Ok ... if you're sure.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-13 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-13 Pub. Date: 2016-03-13
Image Number: 139909
Caption: It all started with my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy, Ezekiel Goodhusband. Dr. Noodle. Ezekiel was the courtroom sketch artist at the Salem Witch Trials. He drew a particularly unflattering likeness of Hezekiah Usher II. Hezekiah was later acquitted. But as poor Ezekiel would soon learn, Hezekiah actually was a witch. Hezekiah cursed Ezekiel and all his descendants. On our thirtieth birthdays, we all turn invisible ... forced to live out our lives in obscurity ... our needs, our contributions, our dreams and our worth going totally unnoticed. There's no upside here. Either I need anti-psychotics ... or you're lying naked on my couch. See? We're supposed to be talking about me!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-05 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-05 Pub. Date: 2016-01-05
Image Number: 137376
Caption: What's wrong with you? I just found out I can't eat if I want to vote. The state passed a "Voter ID" law. To get an ID, I need my birth certificate. To get a birth certificate, I need $35. I can either eat every day, or I can starve for the rest of the week so I can buy the certificate. Would you say voting is important, Rosencrantz? Why are you smacking your lips and looking at me like I'm a ham sandwich? (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-01-24).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-27 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-27 Pub. Date: 2015-12-27
Image Number: 136529
Caption: 1982. Am I your bestest friend, Lemont? I guess so. I've known you almost my whole entire life! I like you more than anything, Susan. More than peanut butter? If I had to choose between you and peanut butter, I would never touch peanut butter again in my life. More than birthday cake? If I had to choose between you and birthday cake, I would never touch birthday cake again in life. More than Star Trek? If I had to choose between you and Knight Rider, I would never watch Knight Rider again in life ... I said "Star Trek." Don't push it, lady.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-21 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-21 Pub. Date: 2015-10-21
Image Number: 133800
Caption: Sometimes I think "baby brain" is a real thing, Susan. Ever since I won custody of my son, I've been forgetting things. I've forgotten what I had for breakfast … I've forgotten whether I took a shower today … I can't believe you're blaming forgetting my birthday on your two-year-old kid. What are we talking about?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-03 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-03 Pub. Date: 2015-10-03
Image Number: 133087
Caption: A federal court just ruled the song "Happy Birthday" is in the public domain. I guess that means we can all stop sending royalty payments to Warner Chappell Music every time we sing it in public. Wait … we can all what? You know how much I'd have saved if this ruling had come down 30-something years ago? Dios mio.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-02 birthday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-02 Pub. Date: 2015-04-02
Image Number: 124960
Caption: Is there something you want to tell me, Lemont? Um … Um … Happy-birthday-happy-anniversary-of-the-first-day-we-ever-met-congratulations-on-that-thing-you-did-your-hair-looks-beautiful-that's-a-nice-outfit-I-totally-agree-with-what-you-just-said-and-yeah-your-co-worker-sounds-crazy. I meant, are you going to apologize for not listening to me? I'm sure that was in there somewhere.
     
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