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Candorville

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301. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-22 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-22 Pub. Date: 2012-07-22
Image Number: 83544
Caption: Who is it? This is a wake-up call for Lemont Brown. I donm mumble. You've got to stop picking your nose while you drive. Pardown I domble … Your windshield is not a magical force field that keeps people from seeing you. In fact, it frames you. It's like a big TV screen. Mbtv. It turns you into a TV show. "The Look At Me, I'm Knuckle-deep In My Nose Show," starring you. Zzzzz. You should sell advertising in between picks.
     
302. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-20 Pub. Date: 2012-06-20
Image Number: 82202
Caption: Is this all there is, Big L? We work, we love, we win, we lose, and then we die. Don’t you mean you borrow, you play, you cheat and then you die? Oh yeh, I forgot: "We judge." You'd better hope this is all there is.
     
303. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-19 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-19 Pub. Date: 2012-06-19
Image Number: 82201
Caption: How's my WHAT? Your girlfriend. You know, the one who you treat like she doesn’t exist except when you want her to. Sometimes I have no idea what you talkin' about. Thug 4 Life. Imani. Your woman's name is Imani. Sound like a made-up name, Big L.
     
304. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-14 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-14 Pub. Date: 2012-06-14
Image Number: 81851
Caption: I'm gonna throw up, an' I don’t want you to make a big deal out of it. If you see somethin' that look like your house key, don’t assume I swallowed it so I could make a copy of it later. For all you know, it's just a carrot. I need new friends. Carrots look a lot like house keys.
     
305. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-13 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-13 Pub. Date: 2012-06-13
Image Number: 81850
Caption: Not throwin' up is … All about … Mind over … Matter, Big L. Thug 4 Life. I just focus on somethin' else … Like how we about to … Pick up yo' son … From day care. … An' like how he got curly red hair … Just like a slipp'ry plate of … Slimy spaghetti … Ohgawd … This is not going to end well. Mind over OH gawd ... Thug 4 Life.
     
306. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-27 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-27 Pub. Date: 2012-05-27
Image Number: 80733
Caption: Your only problem, big L, is you think you got a problem. It's like the Buddhists be sayin' … The reality we think we experience is actually just a picture of reality we construct with out mind. You goin' die soon? Uh-uh, "soon" don’t exist. The future just a picture. You in jail? No you ain't. Those bars you see is just a picture in your mind. Thug 4 Life. You can turn prison bars into a garden, just by running Photoshop on them in your head. Thug 4 Life. Whatever. I need those $250 you owe me. Your "need" to pay your rent is just a picture in your head. Ain't you listening? Thug 4 Life.
     
307. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-21 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-21 Pub. Date: 2012-05-21
Image Number: 81177
Caption: Lemme see them want ads when you done, Big L. Um … There aren't any. You lying? You tryna make sure ain't nobody can compete with you? Of course not. Lemme borrow a quarter to get my own paper. There are no quarters.
     
308. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-12 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-12 Pub. Date: 2012-05-12
Image Number: 80673
Caption: Why am I here? Well … I've been insecure about something my whole life. Dr. Noodle. You probably can't guess what it is. Everyone's always told me it's just in my head. But still, sometimes I'm so insecure about it, I won't even go outside. Having a big one's normal. Plenty of five-foot tall men have ones that look like they belong on seven-foot tall men. What? I'm talking about my armpit odor. Oh ... um ... Wait ... what are you getting at?
     
309. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-30 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-30 Pub. Date: 2012-04-30
Image Number: 47221
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh wants you to WHAT? Take point on the big P.F. Chang's deal in Arizona tomorrow. Did you tell him you didn't want to go to Arizona, not until they repeal that law that might force cops to persecute Latinos? Thank you for the opportunity, Sir. I can't wait! ... I believe my principled stand was wasted on him. (Originally published in 2010)
     
310. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-27 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-27 Pub. Date: 2012-04-27
Image Number: 79774
Caption: Is that roll of sandpaper next to your toilet always there, or do you just break it out for guests? Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Some of us don't need cotton-puff ultra-soft 6-ply pansy-wipes, Big L. There's literally a role of sandpaper next to your toilet. Look there's just some things you don't want people doing in your house.
     
311. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-20 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-20 Pub. Date: 2012-04-20
Image Number: 79551
Caption: I don’t know why, but most of the guys who write to me on date-a-dude.com turn out to be really big. Tell them your name's "Jenny Craig" and they'll leave you alone. Fat jokes are mean, Lemont. It's only mean to joke about people who're different. Everyone's fat now, so it's ok.
     
312. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-16 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-16 Pub. Date: 2012-04-16
Image Number: 79547
Caption: You got any Purell? Lemme ask you a question, Big L … Thug 4 Life. What do real men like Shaka Zulu, Hercules, Chuck Norris and Jesus have in common? Thug 4 Life. Giant beards? Giant beards? Ain't none of them ever used hand sanitizer. Thug 4 Life.
     
313. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-31 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-31 Pub. Date: 2012-03-31
Image Number: 77955
Caption: Today. What's the big deal about women not being able to get birth-control coverage from their health insurance? They can always get it from Planned Parenthood. Run! Three weeks ago. I'm glad Governor Nutter wants to defund Planned Parenthood. I hate Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood needs to go. Today. What? Run!
     
314. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-11 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-11 Pub. Date: 2012-03-11
Image Number: 76814
Caption: I notice you ain't bought my new cd yet. I thought you was supposed to be my friend, Big L. Dang. You know what, Clyde? You're absolutely right. I mean, that'd be just as bad as if, hypothetically speaking, I had written five books over the last few years ... including a new on called "Run! Vampires, Werewolves, the One That Got Away; and Other Demons ... " And you didn't buy any of them. Hypothetically speaking. Glad you agree. I accept cash, cash or cash. Thug 4 life. Dawn. By Butler.
     
315. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-19 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-19 Pub. Date: 2012-02-19
Image Number: 76093
Caption: Case #17700503-E: Clyde "C-Dog" Dogg. Compiled by Federal Agent Eugene O. Murphy. 2:17 - Called "Big L" w/ paranoid theory about gv't spying being "worse than ever." Thug 4 Life. Watched "Gilligan's Island".
     
316. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-04 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-04 Pub. Date: 2012-02-04
Image Number: 75829
Caption: Big L, you doin' wrong, tryna get office jobs and whatnot. You was a journalist. That's WHO you was. You lost your job. You didn’t lose YOU. You need to get back to writing your blog, Big L. Did you know you have over 27,000 emails from readers wondering where you be at? What? Seriously? Wait, how do You know that? That ain't important right now.
     
317. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-03 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-03 Pub. Date: 2012-01-03
Image Number: 74804
Caption: How is it I'm broke? I had three months of savings when I lost my job. It's only been two weeks. I know exactly why you broke, Big L. Well tell me, please. Ok. But first loan me $2. Time.
     
318. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-28 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-28 Pub. Date: 2011-11-28
Image Number: 73556
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Cass just taught us about the big bang. It's how the Universe started, in a big explosion. What exploded? A singularity. Mrs. Cass told us "It's like a zit. You may not know where it came from, but you sure do know when it pops." What's a "zit"? I almost never understand what Mrs. Cass says.
     
319. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-22 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-22 Pub. Date: 2011-11-22
Image Number: 73208
Caption: Where you been, Big L? Well … Roxanne said … … "You may have won custody of Lionel, but you didn’t win custody of his stuff." So I was out buying a crib, a playpen, all sorts of things. I'm picking up Lionel after work today. Cool. What he do for a living? What? What?
     
320. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-21 big 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-21 Pub. Date: 2011-11-21
Image Number: 73207
Caption: You won custody, but I don’t see you in any big hurry to take your son from your ex. Maybe you only wanted to "win," but you didn’t really want the responsibility. It's only been a day since the ruling. Really? Feels like it's been two weeks. Ok, ok, I'll stop talking about it.
     
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