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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about bells.

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141. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-06 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-06 Pub. Date: 2019-05-06
Image Number: 177508
Caption: I applied for a Home Depot credit card, Susan. What? Why? You rent. How much Home Depot stuff could you need? Well, when I picked little Lionel up from Toddlerville day care and asked him what he learned today … he said they learned how to barricade the door and hide form an active shooter. This country is sick. Toddlerville told me they didn't have the budget for bulletproof doors, so I figured I'd build them some.
     
142. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-05 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-05 Pub. Date: 2019-05-05
Image Number: 177448
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jollee? My unhappy coworkers. Dr. Noodle. They're the ones with the problem, not me. I'm happy. All of the time. All of the time? Every moment, I greet the world with a smile and with laughter! No matter what's happening! Aaris brought donuts, and I said What a great guy! whenever anyone makes a sale, I lead a cheer! When Andy fell out the window, I shouted Cheer up! There're trees down there! Aim for those! What? The next day, everyone else was moping around, but not me. I put on a smile and said On the bright side, almost all the cactuses are still ok! ... and that's when they sent you to therapy. No, they sent me here after I gave the eulogy.
     
143. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-04 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177388
Caption: Where you been last couple days, Big L? The Star Trek Discovery season finale was incredible. It made me really want a Captain Pike spin-off. So naturally, I've been in every discussion forum and all over social media trying to motivate everyone on earth to sign the CBS, give us a pre-TOS Star Trek series w/ Captain Pike. Struggle is pointless. petition on Change.org. Naturally don't meant what you think it mean. How do you say please in Hindi?
     
144. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-03 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-03 Pub. Date: 2019-05-03
Image Number: 177387
Caption: You know what I ain't had in a long time? Someone throwin' me a party. That's because the last time I threw you a party, you punched me in the throat. Not my fault. That what you do when you walk in your apartment an' somebody be lurkin' there in the dark. It was a surprise party. You looked surprised.
     
145. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-02 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-02 Pub. Date: 2019-05-02
Image Number: 177386
Caption: 1982. You won Best Book Report in Mrs. Cass's class. I did what? I overheard her talking to Mr. Barnhouse about it. They're gonna give you a blue ribbon and a cupcake in class tomorrow. Wow. Oh wow! I've never won anything in my whole entire life before. This is awesome! This means everything! I thought you said awards didn't mean anything. That was when I hadn't won any.
     
146. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-01 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-01 Pub. Date: 2019-05-01
Image Number: 177385
Caption: So what if you didn't win some big award, Lemont. You're very accomplished. I am? Yeah. You've worked so long and hard at what you love to do that you haven't even noticed. You've turned your passion into a career. There's no better award than that. Thieves can turn their passion into a career, Susan. It's nothing special. Dios mio.
     
147. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-30 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-30 Pub. Date: 2019-04-30
Image Number: 177384
Caption: Guess who won a Pulitzer Prize for his latest album, bruh? Ain't that that prize you been try'na win since we was six? It don't bother you that I won it before you did, do it? Of course not. I'm censored thrilled for you. I couldn't be happier. You censored deserve it, you censored censored! So we cool, then? Of course, why the censored would you ask?
     
148. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-29 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-29 Pub. Date: 2019-04-29
Image Number: 177383
Caption: Lemont? How come you kept sending me straight to voicemail all weekend? It wasn't 'cause they're announcing the Pulitzer Prize winners today and I thought they might call the winners over the weekend. I wasn't hoping to win or anything. I already know I'm a good writer. I don't need external validation. You're the worst liar in the world. Is there an award for that?
     
149. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-28 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-28 Pub. Date: 2019-04-28
Image Number: 177382
Caption: I'll have the special. One Cat Fur Mocha, coming up. Not today's special. I can't through here back on April 9th, 2011. You had a really delicious special that day. I want that one. I can't do that, sir. Of course you can. I mean, you don't look like the kind of guy who'd like to be hit with a bait and switch lawsuit. Your sign out front says Get the special for only $8.95! It doesn't say get today's special. Get out.
     
150. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-27 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-27 Pub. Date: 2019-04-27
Image Number: 177328
Caption: C-Dog, I'm worried the stock market will crash. Should I old or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for Big Oatmeal, he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
151. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-26 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-26 Pub. Date: 2019-04-26
Image Number: 177327
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some old quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. My bad can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
152. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-25 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-25 Pub. Date: 2019-04-25
Image Number: 177326
Caption: What're you doing? Just setting up. Dr. Noodle. I've livecasting a reaction video to my therapy. It's streaming on Facebook Live and Youtube right now. Well? What're you waiting for? I think I can dispense with asking Why have you come to therapy. Make sure you skip all the boring questions, I don't want to lose viewers.
     
153. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-24 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-24 Pub. Date: 2019-04-24
Image Number: 177325
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
     
154. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-23 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-23 Pub. Date: 2019-04-23
Image Number: 177324
Caption: There must have been a moment long ago when it all could have done differently, Rosencrantz … When the living could've chosen to be cooperative instead of predatory. Kind instead of cruel. Selfless rather than self-centered. It was probably when the first fish emerged from the sea to walk on land. If only it had been Lucy the fish instead of Sadie. Lucy never should've trusted that Sadie.
     
155. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-22 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-22 Pub. Date: 2019-04-22
Image Number: 177323
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
156. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-21 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-21 Pub. Date: 2019-04-21
Image Number: 177255
Caption: My boss asked me if I'd consider getting a more professional-looking haircut. Dr. Noodle. I told him It is professional. I get it cut at Roscoe's Barbershop every two weeks. So then he said That's not what I meant. He said Think of cropping it short. So I said But Cody has longer hair than I do. So does Chad. And Bryan. And Todd. And Jack. And Spencer ... and you. So then he said he wasn't going to name names, but one of my coworkers told him my aggressive hair makes them uncomfortable. So I said to him that coworkers complaint, and you siding with them, is making me uncomfortable. What are you going to do about that? Let me guess ... He told me there was no need to be so aggressive.
     
157. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-20 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-20 Pub. Date: 2019-04-20
Image Number: 177225
Caption: So you're worried that you may no longer be attractive to the opposite sex. Dr. Noodle. That's entirely normal. I felt that way myself at your age. M.A. You did? Sure. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and realize you're not a stallion anymore. Your coat is greying, and your saddle is too tight. When do you get to be the helpful part? M.A. The trick is realizing that a donkey can be just as beautiful ... ish.
     
158. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-19 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177224
Caption: Do you think I'm losing it, Susan? No, Lemont. I mean sure, you're not as philosophical as you were when we were kids … and you seem a lot grumpier … and you lose things a lot more … and you tell me stories I've heard before … but it's super premature to worry that you're going senile ... Still, you might want to get checked out. I was talking about my sex appeal.
     
159. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-18 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-18 Pub. Date: 2019-04-18
Image Number: 177223
Caption: Shouldn't we be doing something constructive, Rosencrantz? Will ear for food. I am, Tyrone. It is a known fact that there has never been a human achievement that was not first the figment of one person's imagination. Are you still expecting a hamburger tree to sprout from the sidewalk? Expecting it was my mistake. Now I'm imagining it.
     
160. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-17 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-17 Pub. Date: 2019-04-17
Image Number: 177222
Caption: I've found it, Tyrone. There it is! Where? What? That maple leaf over there. It's just what I was looking for. Since when? Since I saw it blow into the alley about twelve seconds ago. It's easier to be happy if you want what you find, than if you have to find what you want. Stop it.
     
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