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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about bells.

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121. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-20 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-20 Pub. Date: 2019-03-20
Image Number: 176837
Caption: Sadie, I just heard they discovered seven earthlike planets around a single star. Three of those planets are in the habitable zone, so they might just support life. I am just so excited! I guess what I'm asking you is ... were you this excited when earth was first discovered? Almost as excited as when I first discovered vengeful retribution.
     
122. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-19 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-19 Pub. Date: 2019-03-19
Image Number: 176836
Caption: I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tough to craft stories that keep them ALL entertained.
     
123. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-18 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-18 Pub. Date: 2019-03-18
Image Number: 176835
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming a radical alt-right internet sensation. Ok, that's it. You can't just go along with every new trend there is. Some people are painters. Some are musicians. Some compose symphonies. My innate talent is sensing incoming trend waves and surfing their peaks and troughs as with the grace of a dolphin. Being a lemming is not a talent, little buddy. And I'm not sure dolphins "surf." Hold on ... trend wave incoming! It involves ... corduroy ... No, wait ... pancakes.
     
124. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-17 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-17 Pub. Date: 2019-03-17
Image Number: 176613
Caption: Dear journalist, I am offended by your biased hit-piece condemning so-called Fake News. You wrote … some of these sites main sources seem to be their rear ends. Who are YOU to say what's fake and what's real? I don't know that your sources are any more real than my rear end. I know my rear end. I trust my rear end. you, one the other hand, are a total stranger to me. There's an old saying, doofus: Trust is in the eye of the beholder. That's actually Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Oh, I suppose one of your sources told you that? Sad! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
125. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-16 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-16 Pub. Date: 2019-03-16
Image Number: 176729
Caption: Did you see Trump's speech at CPAC last week? Nah, bruh. You catch the Cornel West vs. Diamond and Silk debate on reparations? Where was that? Youtube? Cable news? Twitch? Facebook? Instagram? Periscope? Vimeo? Streamshark? Ustream? Netflix? Broadcast tv. Oh. No, I'm still trying to figure out how to stream that.
     
126. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-15 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-15 Pub. Date: 2019-03-15
Image Number: 176728
Caption: You sure in trouble now, Big L. All I did was write an article quoting what Ilhan Omar actually said … and pointing out that most of the people we see loudly insisting it was antisemetic seem to not be Jewish. I've seen a lot of Jewish people coming to her defense. So maybe it's more complicated. That's all I wrote ... so I have no idea why Congress passed a resolution against me. Ain't nobody in the mood for complicated no more, bruh.
     
127. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-14 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-14 Pub. Date: 2019-03-14
Image Number: 176727
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about Jared's security clearance … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about the whole Israel issue ... and Dizzyland revoked my season pass because of that expose I wrote about their horrible hourly pay. I still can't believe so many of their Ricky Mouses and Ronald Ducks are homeless.
     
128. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-13 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-13 Pub. Date: 2019-03-13
Image Number: 176726
Caption: This just in: Police arrest 80 protesters and journalists after the D.A. refuses to indict officers for shooting an unarmed … Click. North Korea is rebuilding a nuclear missile test site and appears to be targeting your house. Click … in London, second man appears to have been cured of HIV. Side effects of the cure include drowsiness, sneezing and zombiism. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
129. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-12 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-12 Pub. Date: 2019-03-12
Image Number: 176725
Caption: My son asked me what my favorite number is. I thought Who has a favorite number? Then I remembered, I did. When I was a kid, I loved the number eight, because it reminded me of infinity. Nuh-uh, Big L. You tol' me you loved it 'cause it was the only number that reminded you of food. You sure? i remember being a much more profound kid.
     
130. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-11 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-11 Pub. Date: 2019-03-11
Image Number: 176724
Caption: I agree with Steven Spielberg: If it's made for Netflix, it's not a movie. A movie is something made for a big giant screen in a big giant dark room where you watch it with big giant crowds munching on big giant tubs of popcorn. A movie is something you can loudly talk over to register your opinion with the masses. you almost had me. it's a communal experience.
     
131. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-10 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-10 Pub. Date: 2019-03-10
Image Number: 176423
Caption: First they came for Roseanne, and I said nothing because I wasn't a fan of her politics. Dr. Noodle. Then they came for Marvel director James Gunn, and I said nothing because I'm not really into superhero movies. Then, they came for Kevin Hart, and I said nothing because I'm more of a Chappelle fan. Then they came for one of my work friends, and I said nothing because, well ... maybe he brought it on himself. Then, they came for me. Not to self: Delete entire Twitter history ... and nobody said a word in my defense.
     
132. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-09 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-09 Pub. Date: 2019-03-09
Image Number: 176629
Caption: I've been reporting on people for half my life, now, Clyde. You mean snitchin'. What're you talking about? It's totally different. You ain't tellin' on people? Only thing people hate more than the kid who steal a cookie is the tattletale that come runnin' an' smilin' to tell on him. What did you do? Don't change the subject.
     
133. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-08 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-08 Pub. Date: 2019-03-08
Image Number: 176628
Caption: Daddy, what is six twafficking? Uh … What? Where'd you hear that? You were on the phone talking about six twafficking in Flowida. Oh. Well, you know that you're not supposed to listen to Daddy's door when he's being a journalist. So what's it mean? … It means there are six kings in charge of traffic. Oh.
     
134. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-07 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-07 Pub. Date: 2019-03-07
Image Number: 176627
Caption: Hello, you've reached the office of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft. To ask about season tickets, press one. To ask about our support for players kneeling to protest police brutality, press two. To ask about Mr. Kraft and other powerful men getting caught in a raid at a massage parlor of ill repute, press three. You have just ordered seasons tickets. Three! I pressed three!
     
135. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-06 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-06 Pub. Date: 2019-03-06
Image Number: 176626
Caption: Son, Daddy has an important interview tomorrow. I need you to stop jumping. Ok. What do you mean ok? You're still jumping. I did stop jumping. What you see happening wight now is cawwed bouncing. And you let him get away with that? It's important to encourage any skills that could lead to being a lawyer.
     
136. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-05 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-05 Pub. Date: 2019-03-05
Image Number: 176625
Caption: 1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont. I want to be a journalist. I'll be like Woodward and Bernstein. I'll report on man's inhumanity toward a man and bring down presidents and have a movie made about me. I'm just not sure who would play me. I've narrowed it down to Sidney Poitier and Richard Pryor. I haven't completely ruled out Mr. T. How about Gary Coleman.
     
137. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-04 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-04 Pub. Date: 2019-03-04
Image Number: 176624
Caption: So, how was your day? How come you haven't asked me how my day went? It's a long story. I'll start from the beginning. Dios mio. This is why you're still single, Lemont. What? What'd I do?
     
138. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
139. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-02 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-02 Pub. Date: 2019-03-02
Image Number: 176502
Caption: What I believe. Part 480. My child is me. His body came first from me. His thoughts began as a reaction to me and to the world as I introduced it to him. When he judges me, I'm being judged but the most honest, innocent part of myself … So maybe my butt really IS getting big.
     
140. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-01 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-01 Pub. Date: 2019-03-01
Image Number: 176501
Caption: Whachoomean you want me to bring kale burgers to the barbecue?! I promised my son I wouldn't eat cows anymore. He said it's not right to eat anything with parents. Tell him it's ok, 'cause Uncle Clyde ate that cow' parents yesterday. Sigh … I'll get the kale.
     
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