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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about bells.

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501. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-07 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-07 Pub. Date: 2018-07-07
Image Number: 172692
Caption: 1982. Momma says she wants me to be the next Thurgood Marshall. So I asked who that is, and she said he desegregated the schools. And I asked what "desegregated" means, and she said "I'll tell you when you're older." It was at that point that I realized Momma was probably just making up words. What's a "Thurgood"? No, that one makes sense. What has a Thursday ever been bad?
     
502. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-06 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-06 Pub. Date: 2018-07-06
Image Number: 172691
Caption: Sadie Cohen blew me off, Clyde. She never showed up. That's your problem right there. You aware of @#$%. You shoulda blew her off first. Then you wouldn't even know 'bout it. Dios mio. Everyone's starting to do business like Trump. I started a business etiquette university. Enrollment is $2.
     
503. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-05 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-05 Pub. Date: 2018-07-05
Image Number: 172690
Caption: Society has forsaken nuance. Everything is either black or white now. No one admits that anyone else has a valid opinion. Don't you agree? Spare change? Will work 4 food. NO!
     
504. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
505. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-03 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-03 Pub. Date: 2018-07-03
Image Number: 172688
Caption: Sir, why won't you let me fire Dick Fink? He's blackmailing you, isn't he? He's lazy, he's conniving, he's incompetent, he's a disaster. Don't you see, Garcia? I've given you the most precious gift an executive could have: Your very own scapegoat. Dios mio, what's he have on you?! The phrase you're looking for is "thank you."
     
506. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-02 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-02 Pub. Date: 2018-07-02
Image Number: 172687
Caption: Dick, can you get met the "Ask Shadie Show" metrics and then get Sadie Cohen on the phone? Can't ma'am. This is America. Don't use the metric system. Doesn't pay to appear un-American in there perilous times. Get to work, Dick. You'll thank me when "they" don't come for you.
     
507. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
508. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-30 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-30 Pub. Date: 2018-06-30
Image Number: 172492
Caption: Lemont interviews Apple CEO Tim Cook. Is it true Mr. Trump told you the iPhone would be exempt from any of his China tariffs? Ok, I found this on the Web for China Terrace. That's not what I'm asking you. Here is what I've found on Ascot the mime cannibal. Wait ... did you just transfer me to Siri? Let's talk about you and not me.
     
509. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-29 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172491
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want to thank you for trusting me to handle the Ask Sadie Show account. I've been waiting for a chance to prove myself. When I opened your memo this morning, I got right to work on a ten-step action plan. I wasted no time. I promise I won't let you down. I sent you that memo last year, Courtney. Step one is to tell you I disagree with having Kevin Spacey do the voiceover.
     
510. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-28 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-28 Pub. Date: 2018-06-28
Image Number: 172490
Caption: Yes, I do think you're too old to join the military, Lemont. Complete nonsense, Susan. I feel like I'm still 19. I'm still adventurous, I'm still agile, I'm still strong, I've still got lightning-fast reflexes … in theory … (Sigh) Trump and his stupid Space Force. I just worry I'll write down moon but end up stationed in San Diego anyway.
     
511. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-27 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-27 Pub. Date: 2018-06-27
Image Number: 172489
Caption: It's tough to know where to draw the line, as a journalist. I mean, the city won't give me access to the refugee detention facility. So I did the usual … tried to interview people involved with it. I tried the guards … I tried the custodians … I tried the architect to see if I could fit into the air-ducts ... Pretty sure that's crossing a line. He said I could just barely shimmy through if I butter myself up.
     
512. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-26 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-26 Pub. Date: 2018-06-26
Image Number: 172488
Caption: I said, I'm a reporter and I want to come down and interview refugees at the detention facility. I'm sorry, you're breaking up. What did you say? Are you stalling for time and hoping I'll give up and go away? 'Cause that' what it seems like you're doing. I can't ... hear y ... must b ... a bad c ... nection. You just paused a bunch of times. It was obvious. No it w ... not.
     
513. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-25 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-25 Pub. Date: 2018-06-25
Image Number: 172487
Caption: Will explain why you should care about other people, for $$$. Will tacitly agree with you by staying silent while you dehumanize other people for $$$.
     
514. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-24 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-24 Pub. Date: 2018-06-24
Image Number: 172211
Caption: I've left you, Sadie, and I'm never coming back. I've had enough of your slander about me being indecisive. And I'm tired of your likes about how I never do chores. And I'm fed up with you defaming me by telling everyone I snore like a chainsaw. And I'm done with you maligning me by saying I have a poor memory. And I'm done with you maligning me by saying I have a poor memory. You know what else? I've had enough of you slandering me about being indecisive. Never mind, that one's not so bad.
     
515. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-23 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-23 Pub. Date: 2018-06-23
Image Number: 172359
Caption: I'm an accomplished writer, Susan. I don't tiptoe around the big issues. I've won awards for that. How could they reject me? You wrote "I love you so much that when you were a toddler and you choked on your own vomit … I dug it out of your mouth with my own hand without even thinking about it ... Happy birthday. That's real love. You'd think Hallmark would know that the country's in the mood for authenticity.
     
516. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-22 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-22 Pub. Date: 2018-06-22
Image Number: 172358
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about the treatment of refugees from Canardville. Mayor Thump never asked them to come here. Their whole town fell into a giant sinkhole. They're right next door. Where were they supposed to go? Who cares? Not here. And I'm tired of people whining about how the mayor put them all in jail and took all their babies away form them. They should've thought of that before they chose to be born in a town that would one day sink into a giant sinkhole.
     
517. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-21 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-21 Pub. Date: 2018-06-21
Image Number: 172357
Caption: Hi, momma. Yes, I know I didn't call you last week. I was in Singapore covering the North Korea summit. Yes, I know how you like to see videos of your grandbaby. But I was in Singapore, so … Yes, momma, they have the internet in Singapore. But I was a little busy covering the brutal tyrant and the president. (Sigh) No, momma, I'm pretty sure I haven't used that excuse before .... Hello?
     
518. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
519. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-19 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-19 Pub. Date: 2018-06-19
Image Number: 172355
Caption: twitter™ Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about the North Korea summit. I agree with you, the President didn't exactly make the best deal. He should've at least brought home some brand new heat resistant, gummy-flavored aluminum siding, as seen at tinyurl.com/c4eddh. The advertisers are getting sneakier and sneakier. That would have ensured world peace.
     
520. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-18 bell 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-18 Pub. Date: 2018-06-18
Image Number: 172354
Caption: What ever happened with the Canardville refugees? What? I thought you were covering that story. I was. But at the last second I had to fly to Singapore to cover the summit between the President and North Korea's leader. You know they had a private meeting before the public one? Sometimes I can't believe this is my life, Susan. I was just the shy kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Now I'm the guy hiding in potted plants reporting on the secret meeting between two powerful leaders. Wait ... what? I never in a million years thought I'd be in Singapore.
     
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