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Use these links to see comics and cartoons about bells
by comic strip and political cartoon.
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| Candorville |
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361. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-11 |
| Image Number: |
175376 |
| Caption: |
I just downloaded your Christmas album. Good man. How on earth did you create that obscene rap battle between you and him? I mean, did he actually say those things … or did you hire a voice actor? Computers, bruh. I went through his must an' rearranged vowels an' consonants an' what not. Thank god. I'd hate to think Nat King Cole ever even knew those words. The video was harder to make.
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362. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-10 |
| Image Number: |
175375 |
| Caption: |
Hey! What time's the bus come? Excuse me. You're supposed to say excuse me, not hey. Didn't your parents ever teach you that? Excuse-me-not-hey, what time's the bus come? Are you being smart with me? No. I'm apparently being smart all by myself.
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363. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-09 |
| Image Number: |
175062 |
| Caption: |
I feel like I'm always the last one to know, doc. Dr. Noodle. Back in high school, I was in a band called Foss. I showed up expecting it to be a grunge thing. I said Hey, how come I'm the only one in flannel? How come no one else is wearing Doc Martens? Where are your goatees? Turned out it was a punk band. Anyway, fast forward to 2018: I run into a couple of the guys and we start to reminisce. I asked What ever happened to Beto? Turns out he became a politician. They all knew it. I was the last to know. Again. It's like I'm the universe's afterthought. You're talking about Beto O'Rourke? The one who just ran for Senate? Yeah. How'd he do? When's he get sworn in?
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364. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-08 |
| Image Number: |
175267 |
| Caption: |
I'd really like it if just once I could enjoy the holidays. On Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, I can't help but be angry that Emperor Augustus deported the Bethlehemians. On Easter, when people celebrate the resurrection, I can't help but mourn all the people Rome crucified. Bethlehemians? Don't even get me started on Kwanzaa.
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365. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-07 |
| Image Number: |
175266 |
| Caption: |
I read your article about Thanksgiving. Great. I think it's shameful you would somehow find fault with the Pilgrims and the brave settlers who founded the greatest nation on earth. My family came over on a boat to forge a mighty and wonderful nation and I don't appreciate you badmouthing them. Your family came over on a boat? On it, under it ... same difference.
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366. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-06 |
| Image Number: |
175265 |
| Caption: |
I read your article about Thanksgiving. Yeah? Yeah. I think you're right that we should turn it from a day of celebration into a national day of mourning … when we reflect on the cultures and the millions of lives settlers destroyed when they founded this nation. I'm not sure about the name Mourngiving, though. I am.
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367. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-05 |
| Image Number: |
175264 |
| Caption: |
We forgot something at the Thanksgiving party the other week. Whachoo-mean? We forgot to not have one. It celebrates a false creation myth that we tell ourselves so we can forget that what really happened was a massive genocide. This is why we never let you say the toast, Lemont. There shouldn't have been a toast. I guess it a coincidence you only sayin' all this after you finally run out of leftovers.
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368. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-04 |
| Image Number: |
175263 |
| Caption: |
Why is there only room for one super star in a family, even when they've got a really talented sibling? It's almost like it's a law of physics. There's Michael and then there's Jermaine. There's Beyonce, and then there's Solange. There was Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and then there was James Roosevelt Roosevelt. There was ... Transformers, and then there was Gobots. There were your first few examples, and then there was your last one.
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369. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-03 |
| Image Number: |
175262 |
| Caption: |
I saw Clerks the other day. I don't get why you said it's the best movie ever. What? I said that way back in 1994, Susan. You're thinking in three dimensions. But we live in a four-dimensional world. Everything has four coordinates, one of which is time. It may be dates now, but in 1994 when it came out, Clerks was the best movie ever. I highly doubt that. 2018 Susan cannot argue with 1994 Lemont. It's scientifically impossible.
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370. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-02 |
| Image Number: |
174985 |
| Caption: |
Big L, you want me to be Santa again for your boy this year? Let me think about that, Clyde … Last year, I woke up to find my two-year-old boy shocking a pigeon with a taser gun. He said Santa gave him the taser, said Don't tell your daddy, and then forgot to shut the window when he climbed down the fire escape. I tried mouth-to-mouth but the pigeon was long gone. I only had to spend nine days in jail for animal cruelty, but my boy was in therapy for four months. Not my fault. I told him to only use it for fishing. No I don't want you to be Santa this year!!!
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371. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-01 |
| Image Number: |
175159 |
| Caption: |
I've lived a very long time, dork-boy, and I've seen a lot of people die early. I know the signs. What are they? There are too many to tell you in the time we have left. Go out, Rudy. Dance. Smell the petunias … Today. I'm not falling for it. See the world. Well ... see the city, at least.
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372. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-30 |
| Image Number: |
175158 |
| Caption: |
What brings you to therapy today, Lemont? Ever since I had what most certainly was not a heart attack … I've realized I'm going to die one day. I'm worried about what that'll do to my son. M.A. I see. There comes a time when every person becomes aware of his or her own mortality. The key is to make sure you've prepared your son to pay your final therapy bill. What's the other key?
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373. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-29 |
| Image Number: |
175157 |
| Caption: |
Did you catch the Ask Sadie Show? They were talking about immortality. You're interrupting today's How to be an Alpha lesson, little buddy. They said that in just 30 years, we'll be able to transfer our minds to a server, shoot it into deep space where the cold will help the hard drive to survive for eons, and live in a virtual. But what if we've already done that? What if it's like the Matrix, or like Elon Musk's theories, and nothing we see is really real? What if right now, we're in a hard drive orbiting Ur ... As I was saying ... Alphas don't tell Uranus jokes.
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374. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-28 |
| Image Number: |
175156 |
| Caption: |
You're on The Ask Sadie Show. What's your problem?! I'm conflicted about the year 2050. In 2050, we'll have several technologies that could let us live forever. No one born after around 1970 might ever have to die. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time a narcissistic caller called someone born way before 1970, just to say he won't have to die, but she will. I will find you and take you with me. Might be for the best. If there is an afterlife, I wouldn't want to miss out on it.
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375. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-27 |
| Image Number: |
175155 |
| Caption: |
Think about it: In the year 2050, we'll be able to 3-D print replacement organs. In 2050, we'll be able to reverse the aging of our cells. In 2050, we'll be able to transfer our minds to the cloud, live forever in a virtual world, or inhabit androids to live forever in the physical world. After the year 2050, no one in our generation might ever have to die. I like it when you're optimistic, Lemont. With my luck, I'll get hit by a bus in 2049.
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376. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-26 |
| Image Number: |
175154 |
| Caption: |
Scientists may find a cure for death around the year 2050. It would change everything if we never again had to lose anyone we loved. Of course, we'd also never again lose anyone we hated, either. I guess that's a small price to pay. The only thing that never dies is the futile quest for immortality.
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377. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-25 |
| Image Number: |
174819 |
| Caption: |
This is the Hallmark Channel. Tonight on the Andy Griffith Show, little Opie Taylor gets … recruited into the Nazi party, only here on the History Channel. But first, Ancient Aliens … were easily confirmed for lifetime appointments to the federal courts. Fox News reports that most senators ... were totally rubber stamps! ... You've been watching Top Ten Favorite Office Supplies. If you like our content, do all the Youtube things: Like, share, and ... set fire to the Reichstag, giving Hitler an excuse to demand almost-unlimited emergency powers. Despite the evidence, he blamed it on a devious liberal conspiracy to subvert ... Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Skipper, too.
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378. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-24 |
| Image Number: |
175068 |
| Caption: |
Will work for $$$. Will make you fell like a hard worker by comparison, for $$$.
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379. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-23 |
| Image Number: |
175067 |
| Caption: |
What's wrong with you? We are not the paragon of animals, Rosencrantz. If we were, we could create colors not seen anywhere else in nature. Rather than hues of blue, red and green, we could have hues of Morp, Pilpatorn and Fwang. All I'm saying is, a truly superior species would have Morp-colored underpants. I don't think unnatural colors on my underpants would be comforting.
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380. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-22 |
| Image Number: |
175066 |
| Caption: |
I heard a passerby comment that a plane has been stuck on the tarmac for seven hours and the passengers are furious. That's because they don't realize that life in a stranded plane is better than no life at all, Rosencrantz. They could sit there and think At lease we haven't crashed. And they've got all the peanuts and ginger in the world. I heard they've run out of peanuts. There will be blood. Spare change?
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