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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about Armstrongs.

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41. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-15 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-15 Pub. Date: 2015-09-15
Image Number: 132591
Caption: Armstrong fired me. I kind of wish I knew why. Who cares why? A real alpha doesn't let himself get fired, little buddy. What you should've done was fire your boss before he had a chance to fire you. That way, thoughts of everything he'd lose would flood his brain and there's a 48.7% chance he'd actually beg you to stay. Isn't that the same number from your book "From Dump-ee to Beg-ee"? Work, romance ... it doesn't matter. All the relationships are the same.
     
42. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-13 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-13 Pub. Date: 2015-09-13
Image Number: 131663
Caption: Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the muscle. When you run out of that, you start slicing every last molecule of bone you can. The goal is to see if you can maximize your profits while running on pure marrow. That, my minion, is the holy grail. I call it The Tao of Armstrong. Armstrong Maynard. If I can ever figure out how to cut the marrow, I will have touched the face of god. Everyone has their own religion.
     
43. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-23 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-23 Pub. Date: 2015-07-23
Image Number: 130028
Caption: Rudy, I'm thinking of replacing you with Gunther the illegal immigrant. What?! Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. Relax. I haven't yet made up my mind. I'll give you a chance to underbid him. Gunther says he'll work for $1 a day, from 3am to 11pm. Can you beat that? Yeah. I can turn you in. Tsk tsk ... Gunther would never say something like that.
     
44. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-30 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-30 Pub. Date: 2015-05-30
Image Number: 127574
Caption: Rudy, have a seat. There's something I need to tell you. What is it, boss? Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I once owned a dog. I'd tell him to "sit" every five minutes, just to show him who's in charge. That's all. You can go. But be back in five minutes. I wish this chair was cushioned.
     
45. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-22 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-22 Pub. Date: 2015-05-22
Image Number: 127263
Caption: I know why you're such a greedy, heartless Scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense I'd expect from a muscle-bound oaf who hasn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.
     
46. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-13 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-13 Pub. Date: 2015-05-13
Image Number: 126889
Caption: Rudy, you're good with kids. Sit down, I need your advice. Sure thing, boss. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. If a girl scout asked me if she could set up a cookie stand outside the café … What would be the most kid-friendly way to serve her with a cease and desist order? Are you serious? I was thinking of having the process server dress up as Big Bird.
     
47. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-10 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-10 Pub. Date: 2015-05-10
Image Number: 125929
Caption: Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I HEARD THAT!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in history. I witnessed most of it. AND I TOOK NOTES!! I've taken up "Sadie-taunting." You'd be better off with the alligators.
     
48. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-07 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-07 Pub. Date: 2015-05-07
Image Number: 126577
Caption: Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can be "Me the Government." Very bad man.
     
49. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-24 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-24 Pub. Date: 2015-04-24
Image Number: 125927
Caption: Armstrong, did you hear? The water from the Delta has mysteriously gone missing. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! We're in the middle of a massive drought! The state needs that water! What will become of us all?! Oh, the humanity! Better, but still not entirely genuine-sounding. Go see if the underground tank has topped off yet, minion.
     
50. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-28 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-28 Pub. Date: 2015-03-28
Image Number: 124714
Caption: When's the last time you took a vacation, Armstrong? A what? A vacation. You know, where you put on a half-buttoned Hawaiian shirt, shades, and stubble, and head for a far-off island … where you run afoul of the local bully, challenge him to a duel, and win the respect and admiration of men, women and children, before flying off into the sunset. What? Why does everyone always pretend they've never heard of a vacation? How 'bout you take a vacation from making us all look inadequate. HOJ.
     
51. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-24 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-24 Pub. Date: 2015-01-24
Image Number: 121925
Caption: Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.
     
52. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-10 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-10 Pub. Date: 2015-01-10
Image Number: 121150
Caption: Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.
     
53. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-07 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-07 Pub. Date: 2014-12-07
Image Number: 119148
Caption: It's been a banner year for you, Rudy, and I'm glad I was part of it. What do you mean? In January, you almost quit to go find a better job. In February, Armstrong almost made you a partner in the café. In March, you almost started working out to get in shape for summer. In May, you almost finally started writing that novel you've always wanted to write. And through it all, I was there to taunt you and point out your shortcomings. I look forward to continuing our partnership in 2015! I almost thought of a really good comeback.
     
54. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-01 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-01 Pub. Date: 2014-10-01
Image Number: 117140
Caption: I think Armstrong was coming on to me just now. 'Cause he was winking at you? The meaning of a wink depends entirely on context, little buddy. It could mean anything from "I want your body" to "I want you to dispose of this body." As someone who's dated several ladies of the mafia, trust me when I say it's sometimes tough to discern the difference. That's why I always recommend amateurs just ignore all winks. Ok.
     
55. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-30 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-30 Pub. Date: 2014-07-30
Image Number: 114434
Caption: Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on Earth. Not yet, but a man can dream. This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist? Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts. I'll get a pen. You'll also need a passport and lots of penicillin.
     
56. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-14 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-14 Pub. Date: 2014-06-14
Image Number: 112393
Caption: Armstrong, I'd like to formally request a day off to take care of a sick friend. Of course. As long as this "sick friend" is not a character in a video game who you're trying to "heal" so he can get to the next level. Armstrong, I'd like to formally withdraw my request. Withdrawal formally accepted.
     
57. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-29 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-29 Pub. Date: 2014-05-29
Image Number: 111861
Caption: Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.
     
58. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-14 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-14 Pub. Date: 2014-05-14
Image Number: 111306
Caption: Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well … ok, that's a relief. Spit into this and get back to work.
     
59. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-05 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-05 Pub. Date: 2014-03-05
Image Number: 108284
Caption: You've really gotta find a new job. This job's not so bad. To drum up business, Armstrong's making you impersonate the deposed Ukrainian President in hopes of attracting the angry protesters who're searching for him. I'm sure every other job is just as bad. Do you know what they DO to deposed presidents?
     
60. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-19 Armstrong 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-19 Pub. Date: 2014-02-19
Image Number: 107783
Caption: Yesterday you said you were once in some mysterious "service" but wouldn’t say which one. It's almost like you don’t trust me to keep a secret. Should I? Of course. I never told anyone about what Armstrong puts in the soup, did I? Well-played, Rudy. Well-played, nemesis.
     
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