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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (46 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-25 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-25 Pub. Date: 2019-06-25
Image Number: 178256
Caption: You know why else our cozy camps aren't concentration camps? Did you just say cozy camps? Yes. How else would you describe camps where thousands and thousands of people get to cuddle in cages to house much fewer … where we intern tiny tots, and where scarce resources have so far cause the gentle parting of 30 adults and children (that we know of)? Gentle part- ... do you mean death? I mean expiration.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-28 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-28 Pub. Date: 2019-02-28
Image Number: 176500
Caption: Is your boy still worried red meat will kill you? No. Apparently I changed the subject. He asked me Daddy, what is red meat? So I said Usually it's a cow. He said A cowy? Why do you want to eat a cowy? A cowy doesn't want you to eat her! So instead of worrying that meat will kill me, now he's worrying that I'm going to eat all the animals. This is why I only eat with grownups. He tore up our zoo pass.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-24 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-24 Pub. Date: 2018-12-24
Image Number: 175584
Caption: Hey mister, is Santa Claus real? Sorry, kid … I'm not supposed to talk about it. It's a rule. I'm supposed to tell you you have to ask your parents. It's rule 547,983 in the handbook they give you when you become a grownup. But YOU would know better than them. I know an elf when I see one. Santa Claus is a lie.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-20 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-20 Pub. Date: 2018-12-20
Image Number: 175482
Caption: What should I get your two-year-old for Christmas, Big L? Lionel would love a bronze replica of the starship Defiant, from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. You a bad father, Big L. I said what's he want? That IS what he wants! … Also an adult sized Captain Sisko uniform he can grow into. BAD father. (This cartoon was previously published on 2014-12-04)
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-03 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-03 Pub. Date: 2017-05-03
Image Number: 157547
Caption: Why erebody always say "think of the children"? How'd that get all flipped 'round? When we was kids, no matter what crazy, deranged #@$% we saw, our mommas said "don't mind that, that's grown folk's business." When they all of a sudden decide that grown folks have to all be "Mister Rogers" instead of kids havin' to mind they business? It's apparent you're not a parent. You tell one more "dad joke" an' I won't be held responsible for my actions.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-10 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-10 Pub. Date: 2017-04-10
Image Number: 156718
Caption: 1982. My momma said her friend Linda has breast cancer. How's she know? Planned Parenthood told her so. Which is weird. What does cancer have to do with parenthood? They do lots of things there. My mom goes there. That's how they found out she had high blood pleasure. Although I'm not sure why they all acted like that was a bad thing. Grownups never make any sense to me either.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-08 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-08 Pub. Date: 2016-09-08
Image Number: 148217
Caption: Why don't you like kids, Susan? I don't know. Maybe it's just that I don't like double standards. For instance … if a grown person ran from room to room naked, yelling "booga-booga" over and over again, he'd be locked up. But if a kid does it, it's magically ok? Seriously? 36 years later, you still won't let me live that down? You ruined my whole first holy communion.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-11 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-11 Pub. Date: 2016-08-11
Image Number: 147068
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because my son and I are busy building a fort out of sofa cushions. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when I'm a grown-up again. Beep.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-11 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-11 Pub. Date: 2016-06-11
Image Number: 144224
Caption: Hey, mister. What was life like in the olden days? I wouldn't know. I wasn't alive in the "olden days," kid. I'm only mumblety-one years old. Ok. What was life like back in your day? This is still "my day." What was Mr. Walt Disney like in person? He was dea - (sigh) He was a very mustached man.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-06 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-06 Pub. Date: 2016-04-06
Image Number: 141503
Caption: This is probably the last snow of the year, Clyde. For all we know, it could be the last snow ever. Want to go out and make snowmen like we used to? Nah, bruh. You wanna know why? … 'cause I'm a grown-a#$ man. Let the memory show the only reason I didn't get dressed and trudge out into subzero weather to dig my hands in the snow is 'cause you ruined it. Why I feel like I been set up?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-16 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-16 Pub. Date: 2016-01-16
Image Number: 137668
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-11 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-11 Pub. Date: 2015-12-11
Image Number: 136223
Caption: I love being inside when it's freezing outside. It makes me feel six years old again, Clyde. It's the same feeling I'd get when I built a fort out of couch cushions. What the -- ? Another stereotype bites the dust. You a grown man, dawg. A real man isn't afraid to be six years old. A real "real man" ain't afraid to put a six-year-old on timeout. Go sit in the corner.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-03 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-03 Pub. Date: 2015-11-03
Image Number: 134722
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have no regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleanings. Just saying.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-28 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-28 Pub. Date: 2015-09-28
Image Number: 133082
Caption: Yogi Berra passed away, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Was there a landslide in Jellystone Park or some @#$% like that? What Boo Boo gonna do now? I don't know 'bout you, but I don't like when cartoons get all serious an' whatnot just to boost ratings. I'm talking about the baseball player and war veteran! He was in a war? What, was the Adult Swim version or something?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-24 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131713
Caption: I can't get to sleep, Clyde. Say what, Big L? When we were kids and you slept over, we'd talk about aliens and stuff all night if we couldn't get to sleep. Yeh, but uh … when you grown and you can't sleep, you call a woman, not no 'nother dude. That's kinda ... you know ... You think aliens are ever homophobic? Last thing I wanna hear when I'm in bed is a deep voice.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-08 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-08 Pub. Date: 2015-08-08
Image Number: 130588
Caption: Have you called your mom every day this week like I suggested? Yes. But I really think I'm doing her a disservice. When you do something every single day, it's not special anymore. It's a chore. I'm pretty sure I heard her sigh last time she answered. Tell me you're not about to say you're ... I'd be doing her a favor if I called her only once or twice a week.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-07 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-07 Pub. Date: 2015-08-07
Image Number: 130587
Caption: You really should call your mom every day, Lemont. She was a single mom who spent every free moment with you. You were her life. Dang. When you put it that way, you make me feel like a real jerk for calling twice a week. Well you should. She wiped your nose. She held you, bathed you, changed you, taught you, and loved you when no one else did. Is she paying you? I don't see what that has to do with my being right.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-13 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-13 Pub. Date: 2015-06-13
Image Number: 128072
Caption: You know why I'm optimistic about the future, Susan? The movies. When I was a kid, everyone thought "Mad Max" and "Red Dawn" were possible futures. That's because all were certain that, sooner or later, we and the Russians would nuke each other, and only mutants, robots and guys wearing leather would survive. We don't see post-apocalyptic movies as documentaries anymore. You don't think that's just 'cause we're grown? Pessimist.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-24 adult 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-24 Pub. Date: 2015-03-24
Image Number: 124642
Caption: Hey. Lemont. Where's you boy Lionel? "Excuse me." Huh? When you want to get a grow-ups attention, Malcolm, you don't say "hey." You say "excuse me." No, I say "hey." Weren't you listening?
     
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