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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (38 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-30 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-30 Pub. Date: 2019-07-30
Image Number: 178782
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Elizabeth Warren. As many of you have correctly guessed … I've been ghost-writing all of her Donald Trump-related speeches and tweets. That's why she's been tearing him a new one lately. Sadie's lady's coming for you, Donald!!! ... But I would like all my listeners to write to Liz and ask her to stop leaving out all my well-crafted expletives.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-05 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-05 Pub. Date: 2018-11-05
Image Number: 174820
Caption: Have you voted, Tyrone? I tried, Rosencrantz. But I was purged. They said that I had moved, and I failed to register at my new address. But you haven't moved. You've been in this same alley for twenty years. They said my old address was adjacent to dumpster, but my new address is further away from dumpster. Well, did you at least vote provisionally? They said a rampaging pack of wildebeests devoured the provisional ballots.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-03 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-03 Pub. Date: 2018-11-03
Image Number: 174720
Caption: I read your stupid article about so-called voter-suppression. How is it discrimination if the rules apply to everyone? So what if Georgia's exact match system rejects your voter registration if any public servant ever typo'd your name in a state document? If it's good enough for John Smith, it's good enough for Mahershalahashbat Siddhartha. And not being allowed to vote without a street address doesn't just affect Native Americans on reservations ... it affects everyone who doesn't have a street address.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-23 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-23 Pub. Date: 2018-10-23
Image Number: 174601
Caption: Thousands of Native Americans might not be allowed to vote if they don't have I.D. that shows their street addresses. Ever since they won the right to vote, they were promised they could vote using I.D. that showed their P.O. box, since many live on the reservation and don't have street addresses. The country's never made Native Americans a promise it didn't go on break. So ... it's almost like America made a promise to break every promise it made them. Now's not the time to set up paradoxes, Clyde.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-31 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-31 Pub. Date: 2018-05-31
Image Number: 171948
Caption: The state deleted me from the voter rolls because I supposedly registered at a bunch of different addresses under similar names … so I spent all day tracking down Leroy Braun, Lamarr Boyd, La-Keysha Barnes, Lavert Ballard and Lalo Bustamante. What the … them ain't similar names. That's what Labeeb Bashir said when we tracked down him and Leela Bang. I sense a pattern, bruh. We're all marching to the state building once we find Lalamika Babangida.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-29 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171946
Caption: Hello, you've reached the Secretary of State's office. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just checked, and I've been un-registered from the voter rolls. I see. We can fix that. What's your name and address? Lemont Brown. 1739 Sojourner Way, Candorville. Oh, yes Mr. Lemont Brown. It appears you tried to commit voter fraud. You registered at numerous addresses. What?! No I didn't! You're registered as a Leroy Braun over on Peebles Street ... Lamarr Boyd over on Tubman Parkway ... those people aren't me!! So you admit it, Le-Keysha Barnes?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-30 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166538
Caption: Hi, momma. What? Oh, no thanks, I don't need a roommate. (Sigh) … No, I don't care how wise and kind his posts are on your Facebook newsfeed. You did what? You gave him my address and told him he could stay with me until Uzbekistan extradites him? (Sigh) ... No, that's not what extradite means. (Sigh) ... Momma, you're not supposed to meet your random Facebook friends in real life. It's a rule ... You did what?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-30 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-30 Pub. Date: 2017-09-30
Image Number: 163102
Caption: Dear Lemon Brown: Unfortunately, we at Equifax must inform you that hackers breached our security weeks ago. Your social security number, address, credit history, and pants size may have been compromised. It appears the only personal information of yours that wasn't compromised was your signature. To sign up for our credit monitoring service, please sign here.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-07 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155380
Caption: Did you see Trump's address to Congress last week? Nah, bruh. Did you catch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on channel 32 last night? . I don't watch broadcast tv. I only watch Netflix and Hulu. You wanna catch a movie? Watched them all off bittorrent for free already, bruh. You get Kanye new album? I only download songs I like and make my own playlists. Read any good books? C-Dog only read tweets.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-20 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 140250
Caption: President Trump's State of the Union Address: My fellow Americans, the state of the union is unbelievable. It's yuge! They said it would be small, it's yuge, believe me. One guy down here isn't applauding, and the cameras probably showed him. They didn't show the tons of people who clapped, they probably showed this one incompetent loser down here. Anyway ... They keep talking about this $500 billion deficit with China. They're winning and crying, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, like a bunch of weak little babies. Well this deficit is going away. You wanna know why? Because it's not gonna happen. We'll talk about that later. But first, we have to talk about this lightweight senator in the third row. Look at him. He's a nervous basket case. He looks like a weak little clown. And we're about to knock out ISIS, you know how? Like Truman. Patton. I'm going to pick up the phone, and forget about it, they're gone. Hey, loser, wake up. You're supposed to clap for that. What a clown. Click.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-15 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-15 Pub. Date: 2015-07-15
Image Number: 129546
Caption: Well, we'd better get going, Rosencrantz. Where is there to go, Tyrone? Don't be so hostile. What? I wasn't being hostile. I said your name simply to alert you that our conversation had begun. The only reason to insert a person's name mid-conversation is to express hostility. I'm sorry, Tyrone. That's it. We're through, Rosencrantz.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-05 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-05 Pub. Date: 2015-01-05
Image Number: 121076
Caption: What's your New Year's resolution, Lemont? To stop answering personal questions. We've gotten too used to answering personal questions. "What's your address?" "What's your phone number?" "What's your Social Security number?" We fill out "fun" surveys online, without even thinking about who's collating our answers and why. In fact, forget I said all that. My New Year's resolution is none of your business. Dios mio.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-25 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-25 Pub. Date: 2014-04-25
Image Number: 110447
Caption: Hey, do you know what time it is? Yeah. It's time for your parents to teach you some manners. When you address a grown-up stranger, it's polite to call him "sir," not "hey." You're creating an unequal power dynamic that will damage my self-esteem. … I'm telling. Sometimes I miss the 20th century.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-10 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-10 Pub. Date: 2014-02-10
Image Number: 107413
Caption: Clay Aiken runnin' fo' Congress. Can you beleedat? What gonna happen next, Ruben Studdard runnin' for secretary of the fence? I don’t know 'bout you, Big L, but I don’t wanna see Kelly Clarkson givin' a state of reunion address. On second though, may I don't feel like talking politics. Make up your mind.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-30 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-30 Pub. Date: 2013-07-30
Image Number: 99761
Caption: Lemont Brown here, what's up? Is this Lemont Brown? Um … I jus said it is. Who are you? Do you live at 1492 MLK Way, in Candorville? Who are you? Can you verify your address? Nothing good will come of this. This conversation is being recorded …
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-24 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-24 Pub. Date: 2013-07-24
Image Number: 99561
Caption: Well, we'd better get going, Rosencrantz. Were is there to go, Tyrone? Don’t be so hostile. What? I wasn’t being hostile. I said your name simply to alert you that our conversation had begun. The only reason to insert a person's name mid-conversation is to express hostility. I'm sorry, Tyrone. That's it. We're through, Rosencrantz.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-05 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-05 Pub. Date: 2012-12-05
Image Number: 90579
Caption: Let me get this straight: You wrote a story about you and me getting kidnapped in Mexico, infiltrating a drug cartel run by monsters, and causing the end of the world. And you want me to go to "Candorville dot com" backslash "2009," backslash "11," backslash "09," backslash "elevation," so I can read all about it because now you think it all really happened. Is that correct? candorville.com/2009/11/09/elevation. No, it's not. It's not. You said "backslash," when those are clearly "forward slashes." Fascinating. (Published originally on April 29, 2011).
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-03 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-03 Pub. Date: 2012-02-03
Image Number: 75828
Caption: I emailed you a job from Craigslist last week, but you didn’t say anything. I haven't checked that email address since I lost my job, Susan. I've been applying for everywhere since then, with a new address. I don’t want to get my hopes up every time I get new mail ... ... Only to find out it's just you writing to me, or some crud like that. No offense. So I should write to you at foot-in-mouth@jackass.gov?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-26 address 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-26 Pub. Date: 2012-01-26
Image Number: 75720
Caption: We need voter to show ID because voter fraud is a huge problem! Every so often, people get caught trying to vote even though they're felons, illegals, dead, don't live at their registered address, or they already voted. What does that tell you? It tells me they get caught, so the system works well enough. You're not supposed to answer rhetorical questions.
     
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